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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25223443">Remember This Moment</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitsori/pseuds/bitsori'>bitsori</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Coming of Age, Developing Relationship, Finale Time Skip, High School, IDIOT FRIENDS TO LOVERS, Implicit Mutual Pining, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, Making The Band-ish, Male Friendship, Post-High School, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Underage Smoking</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 01:56:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>47,721</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25223443</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitsori/pseuds/bitsori</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hey, do you want to form a band with me?”</p><p>This is how it all starts: Jisung, with his guitar bag hanging off his shoulder, standing by the second years’ stairwell, asks Minho the question as he passes by, on his way back to his classroom after eating lunch at the cafeteria.</p><p><b>or:</b> the ups and downs of a high school rock band that may or may not make it big (and the personal lives of certain members that are a part of it).</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Brief Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin, Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Implied Hwang Hyunjin/Seo Changbin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>86</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>499</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Minsung, STRAY KIDS BIGBANG: 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. TAKE ME TO THE TOP</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>
  <span class="small">All the thanks to everyone I bothered while writing this, especially my artist <b>R</b>, who wrote cute comments while reading it, and of course for drawing such a cute illustration that goes with the story. It's the first time anyone's  drawn anything for my fic. And also, <b>H</b>, who ended up beta-ing for me. Thanks, not just for spotting my very many egregious typos, but also for letting me bounce off ideas with you, and making key suggestions that helped me push through whenever writing this fic got a bit too hard—and it got hard A LOT. ㅠㅠ</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="small"><a href="https://open.spotify.com/playlist/42lhXUmI17KFFw3KI6pZPC?si=fdGOYupOTuWV6x4t8t4fRA">Here is a playlist with the songs featured in each chapter's title</a> (along with some of Jisung's songs that made special mention in the story).</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="small">And here are some wonderful artwork/illustrations that my talented artist <b>R</b> made for my story. They make me weep with joy, haha. [ <a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/1up5uxXwbe-NxaWRXmpXVj1DvK8LFyNQe/view?usp=sharing">001</a>, <a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/1_oPvWX4Xlcf2l5QxaxqWZpkimQ8zNoBU/view?usp=sharing">002</a> ]</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="small"><b>ETA</b> Frontdating now that the event is over! ♥ Again, thanks to <a href="http://twitter.com/hyuniebinie">Raiken</a> for the art, and <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/undelicate">undelicate</a> for beta reading. It's all very much appreciated!</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="small"><b>ETA</b> I originally wrote this using an OC Yoojin as a stand-in for WJ's character. He was always obviously going to be a stand in, but right before publishing I decided it was silly to use such an obvious replacement so I went and used WJ's name explicitly. I'm reverting the character back to an OC now because I'd rather that he not really feature in as many of my stories as possible. Hope that's okay, and I hope all of you are reading this are doing well. (200909)</span>
</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p class="lyrics">I'm never what you really needed<br/>
You won't stop, you can't stop, can't let go<br/>
Everybody knows, come with me and listen close<br/>
Take me now, I'll take you home</p><p class="lyrics">— <b>ONE OK ROCK,</b> <em>Take Me To The Top</em></p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p class="interview"><b> <em>Is this what you always wanted to do?</em> </b><br/>
<b><em>HJS: </em></b><em>Music? Yes, and no. I think I wanted to do it before I even realised one can actually do it—does that make sense? (laughs)</em> <em>I don't think it became a fully formed dream until I met the guys, though—scratch that. I </em><em>know</em><em> that's when it became a dream I wanted to chase after.</em></p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>~~</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, do you want to form a band with me?”</p><p>This is how it all starts: Jisung, with his guitar bag hanging off his shoulder, standing by the second years’ stairwell, asks Minho the question as he passes by, on his way back to his classroom after eating lunch at the cafeteria.</p><p>“Not really,” the older is quick to answer, not even stopping for an actual conversation, and just continuing to walk down the corridor.</p><p>He doesn't know Han Jisung very well – not yet. (Not as well as he's going to in a year’s time, anyway.)</p><p>Right now all Minho knows about him is that he's a pesky little first year who takes the same bus as him to school; it's already a month and a half into the school year so they've developed a simple routine of acknowledging each other through quiet nods, but the only reason he even knows the boy's name is because of the name tag on his uniform.</p><p>He's quickly learning that he's quite persistent, though, because despite Minho's brush off, he's greatly undeterred.</p><p>“Let me rephrase that,” Jisung presses, falling into step with him. “You're forming a band with me.”</p><p>“No, I’m not,” Minho says, and by then they're already standing in front of his classroom, and Jisung is left with no choice but to let him go as he crosses the threshold.</p><p>It doesn't stop Jisung from asking him again because the next day, Jisung marches right up to him after he gets on their shared bus. </p><p>“Hi,” he greets Minho, right before he shoves a small thumb drive into Minho’s palm. “I made a playlist with the kind of music I want to make after we form a band together,” he explains, to which Minho gawks at him in response.</p><p>He has to admit, his curiosity is somewhat triggered, and so he pockets the thumb drive instead of chucking it back at the younger boy. The big, bright smile that Jisung flashes him when he does that is a little blinding, he thinks, and this is probably what prompts him to stick the drive into his computer much later that day, after he gets back home.</p><p>What the songs have in common are heavy beats he could easily nod his head along to, and catchy chorus lines that he thinks would be fun to create choreography for.</p><p><em> Okay, </em> he thinks, interest even more piqued, and piled onto as this continues every day, for an entire week – and then Friday finally comes, and once again Jisung tells him,</p><p>“So. We’re forming a band.”</p><p>This time, Minho laughs to his face.</p><p>“I don’t have any interest in singing,” he points out. “And I can’t play any instruments.”</p><p>Jisung shrugs, grinning and looking pleased that he’s finally gotten an answer beyond a very curt ‘No.’ </p><p>“It’s alright!” He declares, placing a hand on Minho’s shoulder as if to assure him of something—which Minho finds funny because he doesn’t think he needs reassurance of any sort. “You can learn one.”</p><p>Minho snorts. “You gonna pay for my guitar lessons, then?” </p><p>“Nope,” Jisung shakes his head, “because you can’t be the guitarist—I’m gonna be the lead guitarist.”</p><p>“So—you're paying for my, what? Bass lessons?”</p><p>Jisung laughs, and once again shakes his head. “Nah, I think I already have someone in mind for that position. You, my handsome friend, are going to be the drummer.”</p><p>Minho blinks. “So I just bang on pots and pans  however I can?”</p><p>“Excuse you,” Jisung huffs, and Minho honestly can’t help  but be amused by the boy – something about the way he doesn’t so much as bat an eyelash over anything that comes out of Minho’s mouth, whether it’s affirmative, negatory or anything in between that usually gets him strange or exasperated looks from every other person he has encountered. Minho is more than used to dealing with (in other words, brushing off) exasperation, but there’s something about Jisung giving him a natural back and forth that’s completely refreshing.</p><p>“Excuse me?”</p><p>“You don’t just bang on pots and pans with no rhyme or reason,” Jisung preens. “You bang on them with <em> finesse.” </em>He laughs. “And the appropriate rhythm and beat.”</p><p>Minho laughs along, and frankly, he’s pretty close to just giving in and saying yes already. Best case scenario, he learns how to play an instrument while being entertained by Han Jisung’s mere existence—worst case, it’s a project that fizzles out in a month or less, and he simply goes back to living his life as he is now.</p><p>“Who else is in this band with us?” he asks.</p><p>“Just you and me so far,” Jisung answers, and this time he at least has the gall to look sheepish as he ducks his head.</p><p>“So your first choice member is someone who not only can’t sing, or play an instrument, but is also a complete stranger.”</p><p>Jisung lifts his head, eyes wide as he meets Minho’s amused gaze. “You’re not a stranger!” He argues, and Minho’s lips curl into a smile, because he’s eager to hear this. “You’re Lee Minho—you’re a second year, and we both take the 1004 to school—a sign that we’re both angels, if you ask me—” Jisung snickers, and Minho has to snort at the corniness, “—and you’re a part of the dance team, and when I saw you dance once I could tell that you have a special ear for beats, and rhythm—and the drum-bass line in a band sets that for performances, you know?” He grins widely, and Minho starts to open his mouth to respond  but it seems that Jisung isn’t done yet as he adds, “Also—you’ve got a really nice face and this band needs a pretty boy visual to pull in fans.”</p><p>Minho’s mouth falls close, and he blinks—once, twice, thrice, before he cracks up with loud and sudden laughter. “You picked me to be your band’s visual, and then relegated me to the drums, behind you and the other fictional members of this band.”</p><p>Jisung shrugs. “You attract the fans off stage, but once we play you need to stop being the distraction so they can focus on our music, it’s the perfect set-up!”</p><p>Minho gives him a pointed stare – the boy's logic is surprisingly sound, although he's not sure if other people would agree as wholeheartedly. Jisung is unfazed by the look Minho gives him, his grin even growing wider while his eyes sparkle excitedly.</p><p>“The other members of this band aren't fictional either,” he pronounces. “I know exactly who they are!”</p><p>“Yeah? But do they know they're a part of this band?”</p><p>Jisung cackles. “Not yet,” he admits. “But soon.”</p><p>“Well,” Minho muses. “I haven’t made my mind up yet—but maybe soon.”</p><p>The way Jisung grins at his answer tells him that he probably did not come off as coy as he would have wanted.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>Sure enough, when Monday rolls around, the first thing out of Jisung’s mouth is, “Your mind made up yet, hyung?”</p><p>Truth: Minho has all but vocalised his acquiescence at this point. The only thing that’s stopping him is that he doesn’t really feel like he has been given enough reason to say yes to this boy, who has mostly been nothing but a stranger to him before the last couple of weeks. So—</p><p>He shrugs.</p><p>Jisung clicks his tongue. “Are you free on Friday?”</p><p>“Depends?”</p><p>The main thing Jisung and his one man band has going for them is amusement and intrigue, and Minho has to admit that he’s been pretty good at keeping those qualities going.</p><p>“It’s Live Club Day at Hongdae,” Jisung explains. “The theme this month is Alternative on the Rise and I’ve got tickets.”</p><p>“And you’re inviting me?”</p><p>Jisung nods earnestly.</p><p>Minho chortles, amused; without sparing it proper thought, he spits out, “You don't have other friends you can invite?”</p><p>He doesn't intend for it to sound mean or condescending, but it appears to be the exact wrong thing to say because Jisung’s jaw subtly tightens, and he immediately ducks his head in obvious embarrassment. “Never mind,” he mutters, and at this point, even the tips of his ears are red, and the entire image makes Minho deflate.</p><p>“I—” he sighs; he’s always had a tough time verbalising actual apologies, so he gently nudges Jisung’s side and offers him a small smile instead. “My ticket would be free?”</p><p>“Well both tickets are already paid for,” Jisung reluctantly explains.</p><p>“I would just have to show up?”</p><p>“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to, hyung.”</p><p>Minho pauses, and steps in front of Jisung so he can look at the younger male squarely. He wants Jisung to understand that he genuinely means what he’s about to tell him.</p><p>“I want to,” he says. “I’ll go with you—I want to go with you.”</p><p>Jisung lifts his chin and looks up at Minho, a wide smile splitting across his cheeks, one that’s so bright and contagious that Minho finds himself mirroring the expression.</p><p>Han Jisung is an intriguing boy, and it’s not often that Minho feels this about people so maybe that should be more than enough reason for him to go along with his whims – at least for now.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>When Friday rolls along, Minho speeds straight home after the dance club’s meeting so he can wash up and change out of his uniform before meeting Jisung at the subway station like they’d earlier agreed to do.</p><p>The first year is already waiting for him by the entrance, but he has headphones on while focused on his phone so he doesn’t notice Minho’s arrival. Minho lifts a hand to wave and try to catch his attention, but as he takes in Jisung’s appearance, he realises that this is the first time he’s seeing the boy outside their school’s standardized uniform.</p><p>Jisung is sporting a colorful jacket over a black shirt that has what Minho assumes is the name and logo of an old band drawn on the front. His skinny jeans are ripped, but not in a fashionably deliberate way, but more like from years of wear and tear, and on his feet are a pair of chunky Doc Martens that seems to have evened out their height difference. His way of dressing is as interesting as he is overall as a person, Minho thinks, and this—well, it makes him smile.</p><p>Minho has been called unique and interesting more than enough times by his own peers, but he doesn’t think his wardrobe reflects that. Even now, he’s just wearing a pair of old jeans and a gray cotton shirt. He’d foregone the contacts he usually wears to school in favor of a more comfortable pair of glasses, and unlike Jisung and his stylish boots, Minho’s chosen to simply wear his ratty old Converse All-Stars.</p><p>“Hyung!” The way Jisung lights up when he looks up and realises that Minho is standing right in front of him is a bit comical, and it makes Minho laugh.</p><p>It’s early evening, so the train platform is a bit crowded, while the train itself is even more so. They end up squished against each other, both of them holding onto the same handrail for balance. Minho would be annoyed, but Jisung buzzes with excitement the entire time, talking Minho’ ears off about the local bands they’re apparently about to see for the night.</p><p>Minho has never really seen a live band perform, but Jisung's palpable enthusiasm is making him look forward to that night. </p><p>He doesn't know what he was anticipating exactly, but the actual delight and thrill of the entire evening surpasses all of his expectations.</p><p>A handful of bands are set to play at the club that Jisung leads him to; one after another they perform four to five piece sets that are curated so perfectly that Minho finds the hype in the atmosphere building up, more and more with each song, and by the time the second band goes on, the entire venue is lit up with excitement. </p><p>When the female lead singer of the second band announces their last song, Jisung practically jumps with glee. He grabs Minho's hand and pulls him along with him as he squeezes through the people so they can make their way to the front.</p><p>And then the drummer counts off—<em> one! two! one, two three! </em>and the crowd erupts into loud cheers. The vocalist starts crooning, her voice echoing around the venue and allowing Minho to absorb and really feel the song. He dares a sideways glance at his companion and when he finds that Jisung’s eyes are focused and sparkling, he thinks he fully understands why.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>“Okay.” </p><p>In the end, it’s through Kakao Talk that Minho lets Jisung know his final answer; he does it first thing Saturday morning after he wakes up and he realises that he’s still thinking—<em> buzzing— </em>about last night’s performances. </p><p>There was something enthralling about the way musicians, live on stage, communicated with their audience—but more than that, as a part of the crowd, it felt exhilarating. It felt like the bands were sharing themselves and lending their energy to everyone, and through that and their live music, it was easy for Minho to forget every other worry he had, at least for several hours of the night.</p><p>Minho thinks he wants to make people feel that way as well.</p><p>“Let’s do this,” he adds, and sends the message to Jisung immediately.</p><p>“One down, two to go!” Is what Jisung's answer is, three hours later, after he presumably just woke up. The five thumbs up emojis that follow strangely fills Minho with earnest anticipation.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>It turns out that Jisung has two other boys in mind for the band — and Minho is quite familiar with both of them.</p><p>Kang Yoojin is a tenor in the school chorus; according to Jisung his vocal color is perfect for the type of music he wants to create. He’s a third year, but he went to the same middle school that Minho did, and out of general familiarity the two of them would nod at each other in acknowledgment whenever they came across one another in the school halls.</p><p>For a bassist, Jisung wanted Seo Changbin who, coincidentally, was not only in the same class as Minho, but he sat right in front of Minho, and the two of them were friends who often ate lunch together. Apparently – and this came as a complete surprise to Minho – he played contrabass. Jisung knew this because his older brother was a violinist for a college orchestra and one time, right before the start of the school year, Jisung had gone to see his older brother play and had been witness to Changbin sitting in the performance, with an instrument that was very clearly twice his size.</p><p>Minho has to admit, he's a tad impressed at the kind of research Jisung has done on his potential bandmates – he's beginning to realise that maybe Jisung is a lot more serious about this endeavour than Minho had originally pegged him to be.</p><p>Maybe this is why, even though he has no idea how he's supposed to learn how to play drums, he has managed to evolve from a passive band member only there for a modicum of entertainment, to an active one willing to do Jisung's bidding and extend personal invitations to both Changbin and Yoojin.</p><p>“They already know you,” Jisung reasons with him. “If you ask, they'll be more likely to say yes.”</p><p>Minho snorts. “Where was this logic when you accosted me for an entire week, trying to get me on board your band?”</p><p>“Well, it worked, didn’t it?” Jisung points out. “I got you on board!”</p><p>“And if it didn’t?”</p><p>“I don’t know. I didn’t even consider that,” Jisung admits, and Minho can only laugh as he wonders if Jisung just got lucky, or if he easily had an accurate read on Minho as the type to hop on such a project.</p><p>“Alright,” Minho caves in, like he knew he was going to do all along. “But I get to name the band.”</p><p>Jisung winces. “Fine, but only if they both agree.”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>It isn’t that hard to convince Yoojin. The third year is intrigued enough the first time Minho takes up the invitation with him, and when Minho lands Jisung an introduction with him, they immediately bond over a shared taste in music. </p><p>Changbin is a tad harder to bring in – he’s dropped most of his extra-curricular activities in favor of focusing on his academics. He points out that not only is a contrabass not the same as an electric bass (“I can’t even play drums but I’m the drummer,” Minho had simply pointed out, which Changbin ignored to move on to his second point), but he has <em> double </em> cram school, because he wants to make sure that he gets into a top university once the time comes in a little less than two years. Initially, Minho appeals to him with music – Changbin once told him that he took violin and piano lessons all through elementary and middle school, and these were on top of the contrabass, so Minho figures there's at least <em> some </em> interest there. Changbin seemed a bit tempted, yet skeptical; but he and Minho go back years (because knowing each other since the entrance orientation is a long time, if you’re only seventeen) and all it took was a gentle reminder that he owed him from that time during their freshman year when Minho agreed to go on a group date with him just so he could have a shot with his crush to get him to agree. (“That happened ages ago,” Changbin whined. “And it didn’t even work out with me and Chaeyoung—but fine, just so next time I can say <em> you </em> owe <em> me. </em>”)</p><p>And just like that, two weeks into knowing Han Jisung, Minho finds himself a part of a full band line-up.</p><p>“I’m going to get the school to accredit us as an official extra-curricular,” Jisung announces to all of them, the first time they all get together.</p><p>It’s a Friday afternoon, and they’re all seated together on the rooftop of the sciences building during lunchtime. Minho had needed to bribe Changbin with the last piece of curry bread from the cafeteria to get him to go, but at this point, he figures that if he’s going to do this thing with Jisung, then he might as well do it sincerely, and not half ass it.</p><p>“You can do that?” Changbin looks up, curiosity seemingly piqued. Minho tries his best not to roll his eyes; he knows Changbin well enough to know that his mild obsession about doing so well in school mostly stems from intense feelings of filial piety.</p><p>“Yeah, you just need at least five members, and a teacher who will agree to be your adviser, at least on paper,” Yoojin explains, and it figures that he would know – Minho remembers that not only had he been the second year representative just the year before, but that he was also always involved in the student council, one way or another, back in middle school. He seems to have foregone the responsibility now that he’s in his last year of high school, but obviously he still knows certain ins and outs regarding student affairs.</p><p>“There’s just four of us,” Changbin points out, brow furrowed as he looks around their little circle. </p><p>“Chan-hyung agreed to list his name down as a club member!” Jisung informs them cheerfully. </p><p>“Chan? Bang Chan?” Yoojin looks mildly surprised; Minho can’t blame him because this is the first time even he is hearing that Jisung has involved the student council president in this ordeal. “You know him?”</p><p>“A bit,” Jisung shrugs. “He helped me out a little at the start of the term because I'm new. He’s been very helpful in general, and he clearly explained the process to me when I asked—how to get accredited by the school, I mean. I think he thinks he’s just humoring me—” He laughs. “He’ll probably be surprised if I tell him I have everything sorted out.”</p><p>Minho snorts, unable to keep himself from reaching over and ruffling Jisung’s hair – he thinks he understands Chan’s amusement, if anything.</p><p>“Hey!” Jisung huffs, moving away and swatting Minho’s hand away. “Also—” He continues, fingers running through his hair as he tries to tame his unruly mop, now even messier thanks to Minho, “—you guys know Park Jaehyung-seonsaengnim? The young English teacher? I asked him if he’d agree to become our adviser, and he says he doesn’t mind! So we’re all set, I just need to fill out paperwork and submit it to faculty!”</p><p>“You’re more well connected than one would think,” Minho murmurs in observation, smiling when he notices the tips of Jisung’s ears flush red in embarrassment.</p><p>“I’m trying,” Jisung mumbles under his breath – that’s what Minho thinks he hears from him, anyway, because he suddenly sounds nervous, rendering his words practically inaudible.</p><p>“Hm.” Changbin, with arms folded across his chest, looks thoughtful. “This is actually more well thought out than I figured it would be.”</p><p>Jisung lifts his chin, and meets Changbin’s gaze defiantly – Minho almost laughs, but he reels it in, and observes them quietly instead. “Of course,” Jisung huffs. “I never do things half-assed.”</p><p>Changbin glares back at him for several seconds, and all things considered, anyone else would probably have slinked away, intimidated. Changbin had that effect on most people, mostly because of the way he looked, and the way his eyes were naturally piercing. Jisung doesn’t shy away though, and after a couple of seconds, Changbin snorts and finally breaks out into a huge grin.</p><p>“Alright, I’m in,” he declares.</p><p>“You were already in,” Minho points out.</p><p>“Well now I’m enthusiastically in!”</p><p>“You’re only saying that because now it gets you extra-curricular points.”</p><p>“And that’s wrong of me because—?”</p><p>“Because nothing!” Jisung finally interjects, clapping his hands merrily as his gaze shifts from Minho, to Changbin, and then back to Minho again. “Thank you for joining my band!”</p><p>“So what are we gonna be called, anyway?” Yoojin asks.</p><p>“Uhh—” Jisung casts a glance at Minho.</p><p>“He gets to name the band?!” Changbin winces and shakes his head.</p><p>“Well just for that, from now on we’re gonna be known as Changbin’s Moms,” Minho declares, eyes sparkling with teasing mischief.</p><p>Changbin glares at him and flips him the bird, causing the other three to laugh in unison.</p><p>“I’m kidding,” Minho takes it back. “Wouldn’t wanna sound like I’m related to Changbin,” he comments as he casts a sideways glance at his friend. “Give me a week, and if I don’t come up with anything, I’ll give naming rights back to Jisung.”</p><p>“May God have mercy on us,” Changbin exhales, and Jisung simply laughs some more.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>Jisung, true to his word, manages to get them accredited  as an official school club; he’s even able to score them a club room—one found at the far end of the third floor of the arts building. The only caveat is that they have to soundproof it, so that other clubs who meet in the same building wouldn’t have to deal with their noise. (Minho would accede that it would  definitely be that, at least at the start—after all, he still doesn’t know if he’ll be good at playing drums, but he figures he’ll deal with that once they render the rest of the school safe from his attempts at learning.)</p><p>They have to do it themselves, because obviously the school isn’t going to pay for professionals to do it, and the four of them don’t exactly have the funds to hire anyone. And so the first two weeks of their official existence as Band Yet To Be Named are spent working on following instructions that Jisung finds online after a quick search on <em> How To Manually Soundproof A Room. </em> Yoojin is excused for most of it because he has the excuse of the looming CSATs under his belt, but Changbin consistently grumbles about the extra work. (“No fair,” he whines. “I have cram school too!” But he does the work anyway, and that’s how Minho knows for sure that Jisung has truly won Changbin over, just as he has Minho.) </p><p>It’s a Wednesday when they finally finish all the work that needs to be done on the room, and after they separate with Changbin (who was looking pretty proud and happy despite all the complaining he had done over the previous weeks), Jisung asks Minho to come and drop by his house.</p><p>“I have to show you something,” Jisung explains, a tinge of shyness detectable in his tone despite the confident way his eyes lock with Minho’s.</p><p>It doesn’t even cross Minho’s thoughts to turn the invitation down; he nods promptly and the relief that washes over Jisung’s face makes <em> him </em>smile. He thinks that this is something he’s been noticing a lot about the younger boy over the last several weeks that they’ve spent together – his words are always confident, his attitude full of bluster. But every so often a hint of shyness or uncertainty would creep into his tone, and every time Minho would look at him with curiosity. </p><p>It turns out, the ‘thing’ that Jisung wants to show him is a pair of drumsticks that Jisung bought with his own allowance.</p><p>“I know I kind of, uh—” He laughs, nervous. “Hyung, I know I pretty much twisted your arm into joining the band—”</p><p>“Damn right, you did,” Minho interjects, but he does so in a very playful manner.</p><p>“Yeah, well—” Jisung rubs the side of his neck. “I thought the least I could do was gift you with your first pair of drumsticks!”</p><p>Minho hums and attempts to twirl one of the sticks with his fingers like he always sees drummers do it, only for the stick to accidentally fly across the room, much to his surprise, and Jisung’s entertainment.</p><p>“Hyung!” Jisung wheezes in between gleeful cackling. “You’ve got a ways to go!” He says, retrieving the drumstick so he can hand it back to Minho.</p><p>“I—” Minho feels embarrassed, but somehow that doesn’t matter so much when it’s just him and Jisung. “I guess I do,” he nods.</p><p>“Heh.” Jisung rubs his nose, and proceeds to flop back down on the floor where Minho is seated, at the foot of his own bed. “Wanna see something else, hyung?”</p><p>Minho nods once more. “Sure.”</p><p>Smiling, Jisung reaches for his laptop and boots it up. This time, what he shows Minho is an old video of his Dad playing with a band; a closer inspection shows Minho that his instrument of choice was a bass guitar.</p><p>“He was in a band too,” Jisung explains. </p><p>Minho hums softly, and then he looks up. “Is this why you wanted to form a band? So you can be like your Dad?”</p><p>“Um—” Jisung laughs, and then he shakes his head. “He’s the reason I got into music initially, but…” he trails off, but once again, he shakes his head.</p><p>“But what, then?”</p><p>“Well—it’s a long story,” he mumbles, and here he is again, the cute, shy part of Jisung that makes Minho want to draw him out of his shell.</p><p>“I don’t have anywhere else to be,” Minho points out, leaning back against Jisung’s bed in a relaxed manner so he can drive his point home.</p><p>“Well, you know my family just moved back here, right?” Jisung says, sighing as he mimics Minho’s action.</p><p>“Mhm.” Minho nods; Jisung has mentioned that before – about how his entire family moved to Malaysia when he was only nine years old because of his father’s job. He hadn’t really gone into further detail, and somehow Minho didn’t think it was appropriate to pry unless Jisung brings it up again.</p><p>“It was kind of tough living in a foreign country. My older brother is really good with people and languages, so he made friends easily, and he fit in swimmingly. Me—?” Jisung wrinkles his nose, and Minho notices him fidgeting with his fingers nervously. “I had a really tough time adjusting—after a year of school there, my Mom decided it was going to be better to homeschool me instead.”</p><p>Minho blinks, surprised at Jisung’s story. With the way that Jisung had confidently approached him, and proposed to him that they start a band together – he thought that sort of thing came naturally to the boy. Now, though, those little moments of clear anxiety made more sense to him. </p><p>“Anyway,” Jisung continues with a shrug. “That was pretty lonely? So I kind of—uh. I kind of leaned into music. It was always a big part of my family’s life because like I said—Dad was in a band, and he was always letting me and my older brother listen to his favorites. I grew up on Black Sabbath and The Rolling Stones and The Clash, would you believe?” Jisung chuckles; Minho vaguely recognises the names of the bands, but he can’t say he’s really listened to them. He makes a mental note to look them all up once he’s home. “At first I just listened to a lot of music—at first it was more about trying to find the perfect playlist. Because the right piece of music can make you feel better, no matter the situation. Eventually that stopped being enough, though. So I started writing my own—because who can create the perfect soundtrack to my life if not me, right?”</p><p>One time, while they were working on soundproofing their club room, Jisung had shared with them an unfamiliar song. He and Changbin had both paused to listen properly, and when it had ended, Jisung had turned to both of them, looking quite earnest as he asked for their genuine opinion.</p><p>“The lyrics really grab at you,” Changbin had said. “The drum-line is too heavy though—needs more finesse.”</p><p>Minho hadn’t known how to put into words his thoughts and feelings; Changbin was definitely right about the lyrics, but he didn’t trust his own music know-how to comment past that so he simply smiled and flashed two thumbs up at Jisung.</p><p>“You think the song will fit Yoojin-hyung’s voice?” Jisung had asked. “Because that’s gonna be <em> our </em> band’s song.”  </p><p>He didn’t express directly that it was a song originally written and composed by him, and Minho figures that maybe he and Changbin just assumed it was – because whose else it could be? But it’s only <em> now </em> that it really sinks in – Jisung has a way with words and melody, and he has actual <em> talent </em> in this. He has passion for music, and somehow, amidst whatever musical dreams and aspirations he has cooked up, he’s included Minho in them.</p><p>“Ah—” Minho nods slowly, quietly processing everything; he once again looks down at the instrument that he's holding. He doesn’t know how to address Jisung’s story, so he goes with,  “So. Your Dad was a bassist?”</p><p>Jisung nods, chuckling. He doesn’t seem fazed that Minho has opted not to say anything about his childhood story – from a certain angle, the way the corner of his lips curl up even looks like he <em> appreciates </em> that Minho hasn’t verbally made a big deal of his story.</p><p>“And you don’t want to follow in his footsteps or whatever?”</p><p>Jisung laughs. “Lead guitarists get more attention,” he answers cheekily, “and very few bassists become household names.”</p><p>This time Minho cracks up with laughter. </p><p>“Flea,” Minho recites as he lightly taps his brand new drumsticks against his thighs. “Paul McCartney—Pete Wentz.”</p><p>“Huh—?” Jisung is confused at first, only for his round eyes to grow wide with excitement as it dawns on him what names Minho is saying. “You looked up famous bassists!”</p><p>“Well I tried famous drummers first, but there were even fewer of them,” Minho explains, grinning. “And then I kind of just got sucked into that corner of the internet. You’re not the only one who doesn’t half-ass things, Jisungie,” he coos, reaching over and pinching Jisung’s cheek.</p><p>“Heh.” Jisung swats his hand away and proceeds to rub his cheek. “I knew I picked the perfect visual member when I asked you to join!”</p><p>“Give me a few months, and I won’t just be the visual,” Minho declares; he doesn’t know where the surge of confidence is coming from – at the beginning, he didn’t even really think this silly band idea was going to last more than a few weeks.</p><p>But Jisung has a way with people – has a way with <em> him, </em> and now Minho thinks that if Jisung is going to see it through to the end – whatever that means in this context – then Minho is going to be right there with him.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>~~</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>Days, weeks, and soon even <em> months </em> pass.</p><p>Jisung – and the band in general, he supposes – seamlessly interweaves himself into the fabric of Minho’s daily life that he doesn’t really think or notice that much has shifted, despite all the small changes that have actually taken place.</p><p>For one, he starts not just going home with Jisung, but the two of them form a habit of waiting for each other at the bus stop in the mornings, and then sitting together at the back end, sharing one set of earphones as Jisung takes it upon himself to broaden Minho’s musical horizons.</p><p>Moreover, his afternoons are now split between hanging out at the band’s club room and at the dance club’s studio. Most days, it’s just him with Changbin and Jisung, and all three of them do their own thing – Jisung would sit in a corner of the room, writing lyrics, while Changbin would sit up front, either answering cram school workbooks or practicing on the second hand electric bass guitar he had bought for himself. Minho can’t really do much without a full drum kit, so each time he’s there, he’s mostly watching drum covers and tutorials on his phone. </p><p>Every now and then, the three of them would sit together, and Jisung would watch closely how Changbin plays, helping him out by positioning his fingers correctly, or by demonstrating plucking versus strumming techniques while Minho observes them, silently soaking in their combined musicality; other days, Jisung would show them newly written lyrics, teeth digging into his chapped lips as he waits for their input, with Changbin usually providing some useful critique.</p><p>At least once a week, Yoojin finds enough free time to drop by and join them, and it’s during those rare precious afternoons that Jisung would let them listen to whatever song he’s been working on. Yoojin would sometimes lead sing-alongs while Jisung and Changbin play their instruments; all Minho can do is feel the beat of the songs, and visualise his own contribution to the music had he an actual drum kit to play with.</p><p>It’s all fun and chill but Minho keeps feeling like he’s holding them back – not that he’s about to express that out loud.</p><p>He doesn’t believe in self pity, and if he thinks there’s more that he can do to make them feel more like a full-fledged band, then he supposes he’ll do exactly that until he stops feeling like a fish out of water.</p><p>It’s around a week or so before school lets out for summer vacation that Bang Chan, student council president and the band-slash-club’s invisible fifth member, visits them.</p><p>“About the cultural festival in October,” is how he opens with, right after he greets them with a smile; he doesn’t even ask how they’ve been faring with their music – he just goes straight to the point. Minho momentarily freezes, because the dance club has been hard at work, preparing their performance for the festival, and he doesn’t know why it completely slipped his mind that the band (still yet to be named because he still couldn’t come up with anything witty, and Jisung has given up pestering him) would be asked to go on stage as well. All school clubs are required to participate in the festival, after all.</p><p>“We got it!” Jisung chirps confidently, causing all heads in the room to turn towards him. “We’ll play two songs!”</p><p>“Okay, I’ll put you right near the beginning of the program,” Chan tells them, a happy and relieved look on his face, right before he excuses himself again, presumably to go and visit other clubs to check in with them.</p><p>“Two songs?!” Changbin gawks at Jisung. “We’ve never even played a full song with all of us! Minho hasn’t even—” he glances nervously at Minho, who shrugs.</p><p>“Yeah, I haven’t even tried playing actual drums yet,” Minho takes it upon himself to point out what Changbin couldn’t.</p><p>“Calm down, hyung,” Jisung says, laughing. “The school festival is in October, for fucks sake—we have a few months left until then. We have the entirety of summer vacation to work on our performance. Minho-hyung’ll be great—we’ll choose songs that don’t require complicated drumming techniques.”</p><p>Minho feels the tips of his ears heat up at that; he wants to contribute more like he had told Jisung he would, and that night, in the safety of his own bedroom, he looks up how much individual pieces of a drum kit costs – and then he computes how long it could possibly take him to at least get himself a snare and a pair of cymbals.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>“Hyung! Hyung, guess what—?” Jisung calls Minho that weekend with much enthusiasm evident in his tone. “I got a part-time job!”</p><p>“Uh, okay? Congratulations?” He doesn’t remember sharing his own desire to find a job so he can fund his personal quest to avail himself of a drum set – but perhaps that’s where Jisung’s excitement is coming from. Maybe?</p><p>Jisung laughs, and Minho finds himself smiling – there’s something incredibly endearing about the sound of Jisung’s laughter. “You’re supposed to ask where!”</p><p>“Okay, where?”</p><p>“Heh.” You can practically <em> hear </em> Jisung grinning, that’s how palpable his happiness is, even through the phone line. “There’s this newly opened music studio rental place in Hongdae, hyung! It's called Studio J—and as an employee, I get an employee discount! Isn’t that lucky? I went out with my hyung today, and I really chanced upon this opportunity!”</p><p>“Oh?” Minho takes a second, and then he realises exactly what Jisung means. Discount on a music studio rental place means they’d have a fairly cheap place to practice as a band. They might actually be able to run through entire songs now, with a full instrument set. “Oh!”</p><p>“Yeah! You want to come over, hyung? Practice playing drums a little so we can show Changbin-hyung off,” Jisung says, laughing.</p><p>“Right now?”</p><p>“Yeah! I’m here, I’ll send you the address!”</p><p>Minho pauses, several threads of thoughts running through his mind at once, and then,</p><p>“Do you one better,” he says slowly. “Are they still hiring?”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>This is how Minho and Jisung find themselves gainfully employed over the summer break. Minho gets assigned to the reception area, while Jisung gets tasked to work on equipment, checking on  them every time clients are done using any one of the five studios available for hourly rental.</p><p>The building owner is young, and barely ten years older than them. Minho’s impression of her is that she seems nice, but she's barely around for them to really solidify any sort of impression. They instead report directly to Park Sungjin, the manager in charge of day to day operations, and even though he can be a little strict when it comes to work (one time, Jisung got reprimanded for slacking off and missing the fact that one of the guitars in Room 4 needed to be restringed), he takes to them very quickly. Apparently, he was a part of a band himself when he was in high school, straight through college.</p><p>Whenever one of the rooms is free and they're on break, he’d let Minho and Jisung use it, and it’s like this that Minho very slowly, but surely, develops his drum playing skills. Separate from that, thrice a week, at 7 in the evening, right when their shifts would end, Changbin and Yoojin would come over and they would actually (finally) have practice sessions.</p><p>“Hey, you guys never told me what your band is actually called?” Sungjin asks once, after he briefly sits in for a practice session.</p><p>All of his bandmates turn to look at Minho, who finds himself saying, after a literal drumroll, “A Very Special Guest.”</p><p>Everyone looks confused, which is understandable because this is the first time they’re hearing about it. Sungjin, after a moment’s pause, seems to get it – his eyes sparkle, and he lets out a hearty guffaw while flashing them two thumbs up. “Good one!”</p><p>Minho beams, looking prouder than he means to be.</p><p>“What.” Changbin stares at him after Sungjin leaves them on their own once again.</p><p>“What do you mean what?” Minho asks.</p><p>“When did you come up with a name—?” Changbin starts to ask, only to be interrupted by Jisung’s sudden laughter.</p><p>“Shit!” He wheezes, grinning widely, and causing Minho to feel even more satisfied with his impromptu name choice. He hadn’t even really been thinking about it – the words simply flashed in his head when Sungjin asked, but he’s happy that Jisung clearly finds the wit in it.</p><p>“What’s going on?” Yoojin asks, looking at them curiously.</p><p>“Well now every time we’re introduced to perform, the emcee will always have to refer to us as—A Very Special Guest!” Jisung explains, still laughing.</p><p>“Oh—” The realisation visibly dawns on Changbin’s expression, comically so, and Minho has to laugh. “Oh!”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>Summer break passes by in a flash like that; Minho wouldn’t want to oversell their ability as a full group – Jisung still clearly possesses most of the skill and talent among the four of them, but Changbin has a natural affinity for music that shows in how easily he’s managed the change in instruments, while Yoojin has unquestionable vocal abilities. He would also like to think that he can finally call what he does now, actually <em> playing </em> an instrument and not just blindly banging with sticks, and all that considered, he’d say that as a group they’ve managed to improve a great deal.</p><p>Before he knows it, the fall term is starting up again.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>~~</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>It’s at the beginning of the new term, one afternoon after the last bell has rang to signal the end of classes for the day, and he and Changbin are walking together, on their way to the band room, when Minho finds one of his dance club hoobaes waiting for him by the second years’ stairwell.</p><p>“Hyunjin-ah, hey—!” He greets the younger with a  confused smile, unsure if the boy had been waiting for him specifically or if this meeting is completely coincidental.</p><p>The way Hyunjin immediately stands at attention, expression lighting up at the sight of him, tells Minho that it’s more likely the former than the latter.</p><p>“Sunbaenim!”</p><p>“What’s up, Hyunjin?” He asks, only to be distracted as Changbin elbows his side; he’s reminded that the two of them have yet to be introduced to each other. “Oh, yeah—Hyunjin, meet Seo Changbin, local pain in my ass. Changbin, this is Hwang Hyunjin. We’re in the dance club together.”</p><p>“Since middle school,” Hyunjin volunteers, a little too earnestly.</p><p>“Right, since middle school,” Minho agrees.</p><p>“Well, it’s nice to meet you,” Changbin greets him with a cordial smile; Minho cocks an eyebrow, knowing Changbin well enough to note that he seems a little more curious about Hyunjin than he normally would be around first years.</p><p>“It’s nice to meet you as well, sunbaenim,” Hyunjin returns with a polite bow.</p><p>“Ah, there’s no need to be so formal,” Changbin quickly tells him, with a friendly pat on his shoulder. “And you can just call me hyung—any friend of Minho’s!”</p><p>That last part makes Minho snort; Changbin hadn’t been <em> that </em> cordial with Jisung and had rather been reserved and skeptical when he'd introduced them.</p><p>“Ah, Minho-sunbaenim, he—”</p><p>And then there’s the fact that despite having known each other for the last three years, Minho and Hyunjin still have a pretty rigid sunbae-hoobae relationship. Picking up on this, Changbin looks at both of them.</p><p>“Well, even if Minho won’t let you drop formalities —” Changbin clicks his tongue, “—you can be more than casual and friendly with me.” </p><p>Minho almost rolls his eyes, because he imagines Changbin would’ve winked at Hyunjin if he could. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” He barks out.</p><p>“Not really, but I suppose I’ll be off to the club room now,” Changbin huffs before turning to Minho. “See you there?”</p><p>Minho nods. “Yeah, I’ll be there shortly.”</p><p>Changbin gives Hyunjin a quick salute, only to receive yet another polite bow in return; Minho just shoos him away, and soon enough he’s left alone with only Hyunjin.</p><p>“He’s right, you know—it's probably time that you start being more casual with me,” Minho tells the first year with a chuckle and pat to the arm. “We've known each other since middle school.”</p><p>“Ah, yeah, sunb—” Minho cuts him off with a look, and Hyunjin just laughs nervously, before correcting himself. “Hyung.”</p><p>Minho gives him a benevolent smile. “So, what’s up?”</p><p>“Are you headed to the music club, hyung?” Hyunjin asks, sounding like he’s doing his best to make the ‘hyung’ at the end sound more natural than it really feels on his tongue.</p><p>“The band room, yeah,” Minho answers, casual in his correction. Technically, he supposes that the school accredited them as the music <em> appreciation </em> club, but no one really calls it that, at least among the members.</p><p>Hyunjin nods slowly; he seems to be struggling to get something out, so Minho remains quiet, waiting for him to be able to express himself.</p><p>“Are you—” Hyunjin sighs. “Hyung, are you quitting dance?”</p><p>Minho’s eyes widen; it’s true that he hadn’t really been attending dance club meetings by the time the previous term had ended. He also knows that the club had met a few times over the break for some team building workshop but he had opted out of it, with the reasoning that he’s too busy with his part-time job. The band had really taken much of his time and attention – to the point where he hadn’t even realised his own neglect of the dance club. </p><p>In his head it makes sense. The band is starting from the ground up, especially him with his originally non-existent drumming skills, so it’s natural that he puts in extra time and effort, especially compared to dance, which he’s been doing since he was 12. But in a way, that’s what makes it even weirder – dance was the closest thing he had to a passion, but he had barely given it thought over the last couple of months.</p><p>“With the school festival coming up, we’ve been coming up with all new choreography,“ Hyunjin continues, “And the solos—”</p><p>“Ah,” Minho nods; he’d had this conversation with the dance team captain a couple of weeks ago, right before classes had resumed. “I told Taeyang-hyung that I don’t mind not getting a solo this year.”</p><p>Come to think of it, maybe <em> that </em> alone should have been a sign for Minho – after all, as a first year, he had fought tooth and nail – had practiced day in and day out – just to get one of the coveted solos at the school festival. He’s the type to get things done, but only as long as he <em> wants </em> something done.</p><p>“But—” It’s Hyunjin’s turn to look surprised. “You’re one of the club’s aces!”</p><p>Minho only laughs and shakes his head. “I had a solo last year—other members should have their time to shine. Like—you should go for it, Hyunjin!”</p><p>Hyunjin blinks. “I—I want to,” he admits with a small exhale. “Still, hyung. You deserve your spot.” He frowns. “Are you going to perform with—with Han Jisung-ssi, and the rest of the music club?”</p><p>Despite himself, Minho finds a smile automatically curving on his lips. “Yeah, that’s the plan—you’ll cheer us on, right?”</p><p>The younger boy gawks at him. “Hyung—but. Are you abandoning the dance team? Just like that?” </p><p>Minho’s throat catches; right, <em> that </em> had been the original question. He hadn’t really thought that putting the majority of his attention on the band as him abandoning the dance club, but only because he had never thought he’d ever get to a point where he’d even <em> consider </em> quitting. He's good at dancing, and he supposes that this fact had made him assume he's going to keep wanting to do it—after all, why stop doing something that comes naturally to you? Idly, as he tries to piece together words to answer the younger boy with, he ends up looking at his hands. Six of his fingers are wrapped with band-aids, covering thick, hardened calluses he had developed from gripping his sticks too tightly, and it dawns on him that it's been a while since he’d needed to take care of blisters on his feet, or since he’s had to ice aching joints. Somehow, without him realising it, he had naturally traded a dancer’s pain to a drummer’s.</p><p>“I’ll drop by on Thursday,” is the only thing he can give Hyunjin. It’s not a very committal answer, but it’s something that will hopefully appease the younger. “I’ll sit in and try to learn the group choreography, but—it probably wouldn’t be fair to go up on stage with the rest of the members if I’m not as dedicated as the rest of you.”</p><p>“Hyung—” Hyunjin keeps frowning at him, but the more that Minho talks, the more he realises that on his list of priorities, dance is now far behind making music with Jisung, Changbin and Yoojin. It doesn’t matter that he’s not up to par with the rest of the group’s skills or talent – in fact, that just makes him more eager to put in more time so he can improve.</p><p>He shrugs. “This is what I want to do right now, Hyunjin-ah, I hope you understand.”</p><p>Minho easily makes out the disappointment in Hyunjin’s face, but since the younger is also clearly doing his best to control his expression and hide it, Minho does him a favor by pretending not to notice.</p><p>“I’ll see you around, yeah?” He grins and claps Hyunjin’s shoulder. “Hey, like I said, without me, you get more chances on landing that solo—” He laughs. “Maybe I’ll even put in a good word with Taeyang-hyung for you. I’m sure he’d still listen to me!”</p><p>“Hyung…” Hyunjin sighs, looking like he doesn’t know how else to respond.</p><p>“I’ll cheer you on, and you’ll cheer us on as well, won’t you? When we perform on stage—” Minho grins. “I’ll appreciate it—as will Changbin, I’m sure. Yoojin-hyung, and Jisungie as well!”</p><p>Hyunjin nods mutely. “I guess.”</p><p>“Thanks Hyunjin-ah,” Minho pats his arm. “I’m gonna get going now—but I’ll see you around!”</p><p>Hyunjin waves at him weakly, and as Minho turns his back on him, he thinks it feels strangely like turning his back on dance as well, an old companion that’s kept him company for a good part of his childhood. But as he walks down the hall, he can only smile because it also feels strangely like a weight off his shoulders – dance was important to him, but now he’s looking forward to truly pouring his everything into this new endeavour.</p><p>He did declare to Jisung that he doesn’t do things halfway, after all. </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>With the school’s cultural festival getting closer, the band comes to an agreement that they should put in more time at the practice studio so they can go through songs in full, plugged in and with drums. </p><p>“What’s the point of working on soundproofing the band room for weeks when we’re not gonna use it anyway,” Changbin initially grumbles, but that’s just how he is — he’ll whine, but he’ll fall in line and put in the work that’s necessary.</p><p>Still, there’s the issue of both Changbin and Yoojin’s cram school schedules, so they end up slotting in practice sessions late at night, while Jisung and Minho both continue to work part-time shifts at Studio J after school.</p><p>“You’re getting really, really good hyung,” Jisung tells him one evening, while they have dinner together at the convenience store down the street. This is their new normal – cheap convenience store food as dinner every night, while they wait for Changbin and Yoojin to show up.</p><p>“Tch,” Minho scoffs, even though Jisung’s words of praise mean a lot to him. He’s the one who started this band, and therefore is their de facto leader despite being the youngest. “You’re just saying that.”</p><p>Jisung laughs. “What does that even mean that I’m just saying it? Yes! I’m just saying it! But that doesn’t make it any less true!”</p><p>Minho shakes his head and pretends to be engrossed in unwrapping his triangle kimbap. The sincerity in Jisung’s tone warms his heart greatly, but that’s also what makes it embarrassing, somehow. “Thanks, I guess,” he mumbles. </p><p>To be fair, he’s been feeling more competent with his playing; he feels more comfortable with the way he handles his sticks, and more confident every time he sets the beat of the songs when they practice. He wouldn’t describe himself as <em> good </em> just yet, but he thinks he’s getting there at least. The problem is that the cultural festival is in two weeks, and he can only hope that all of that progress will manifest and translate well on stage.</p><p>“I’m serious, hyung!” Jisung beams. “The way things are—I’m pretty sure we’re not gonna completely suck when we play for the whole school.”</p><p>Minho laughs. “What a tall bar you’ve set!”</p><p>“Yeah, right—?” Jisung sniggers. “But don’t worry, all the greats need to have a humble origin story. We can’t just be awesome from the get go—growth is a part of the story!”</p><p>“Sure,” Minho deadpans. “If you say so.”</p><p>“I do!” Jisung declares with a confident nod that seems to be his way of punctuating the discussion. He reaches into the open bag of potato chips between them, but before he can toss a piece into his mouth, he turns to Minho again, and he asks, “Are you happy, hyung?”</p><p>“Huh, what?” Minho is caught majorly off-guard, and all he can do is laugh and give the younger male a wary look. “What are you even asking?”</p><p>“Are you happy?” Jisung simply repeats, unfazed by Minho’s incredulity, and this is how Minho realises that it’s a completely genuine inquiry – and he finds that he’s suddenly tongue tied and unsure how to answer.</p><p>For several seconds, they sit in complete silence save for the faint sound of Jisung crunching on chips. He sips on strawberry milk after, and because Minho still doesn’t answer, Jisung grows more impatient – eventually, he’s the one who answers his own question first.</p><p>“I am,” he shares, a bit sheepish, yet earnest. “Right now, at this moment, I feel very happy.” And then he grins widely, “but in general—I’ve been really happy.”</p><p>Minho blinks; they’re sitting side by side at a brightly lit convenience store, sharing triangle kimbap, chicken skewers and unhealthy potato crisps, and Jisung is suddenly being very sentimental.</p><p>“Good,” he comments in turn, unable to keep himself from reaching over and fondly patting the back of Jisung’s head.</p><p>“It’s—” Jisung chuckles softly. “It’s in part because of you, hyung.”</p><p>Minho's brow furrows. “Me.”</p><p>“Just—” Jisung laughs. “It wasn’t easy to approach you at first!”</p><p>“Oh?” Minho laughs along, more out of surprise than anything else; Jisung had been so casual and confident when they’d talked that first time that it’s hard to imagine him having needed to work up the courage to approach him. Then again, thinking about it now and putting into consideration everything that Minho has since learned about Jisung, it <em> does </em> make sense.</p><p>Strange how it’s only been a few months since Jisung had first come up to him, armed with a hamfisted declaration that Minho should join his band, but it already feels so much longer than that, if only because Jisung feels like he’s been by Minho’s side for forever. </p><p>“Could’ve fooled me,” he teasingly chides the younger.</p><p>Jisung grins. “Well, duh! That was the point—when my family moved back here from Malaysia, and they decided to let me enroll in a regular high school, I made a promise with myself that I’d do better with people. That I will actively make friends—and to do that, I needed to be able to talk to people who I wanted to be friends with—”</p><p>“Ah, yes,” Minho interrupts, nodding gingerly. “What I’m hearing is you took one look at me and decided you wanted to be friends.”</p><p>Jisung rolls his eyes and hits Minho‘s arm, but  then he simply proceeds with his monologue. “It wasn’t easy! But—I’m thankful you gave me the time of day.”</p><p>“Sometimes it’s good to take pity on lesser beings like that,” Minho jokes. “It’s good karma.”</p><p>“Oh fuck off,” Jisung laughs. “You’re so insufferable sometimes!”</p><p>Minho tuts. “And yet you’re the one who made it a point to talk to me and ask me to be in your band—<em> in your life!” </em></p><p>“Most days I regret it.” Jisung clicks his tongue, and Minho laughs because he knows the younger doesn’t mean it. “But—” Jisung inhales deeply, and just like that, the vibe of the conversation switches back to the sincere and solemn one it was originally sporting. “Right now, I don’t. You’re a good person, hyung—I chose well.” He grins, and Minho looks down at his food as he feels heat spreading across his cheeks. “If not for you, I probably wouldn’t have garnered enough courage to approach Changbin-hyung, and Yoojin-hyung—and my grand plans for a successful high school debut, and for forming the best band Korea has ever seen and heard—they would have definitely fallen through.”</p><p>“So you’re saying if not for me your life would absolutely suck right now?” Minho teases as an attempt to lighten the atmosphere, and in effect loosen the constricting feeling in his chest area.</p><p>“Yes,” Jisung answers, too quick, too honest, and doing nothing to help ease the unfamiliar turning at the pit of Minho’s stomach. </p><p>Minho looks at him, unsure how to react, but Jisung simply smiles instead of saying anything further.</p><p>“Idiot,” he says eventually, but there’s no bite in his tone, only fondness.</p><p>Jisung has always handled himself well, and he has always seemed especially determined and organised when it came to matters concerning the band that Minho would be hard pressed to believe that any of those things is just Jisung putting an act – more than that, it’s a little hard to take credit for how well things are going now when he’s the only one among the members who had brought nothing to the table in terms of actual skill. The way that Jisung is being so open and honest about how he views things – this just makes Minho admire him even more. </p><p>“You’re absolutely valid in saying that! I’m an idiot and should have chosen a better person,” Jisung jokes around, laughing. “But—” He grins. “I just felt like I needed to say it—to tell you, without pretense, hyung. I’m really happy right now—I’m one step closer to world domination—” at this the two of them crack up together, “—but even past that, I’ve met people I genuinely like who can take over the world with me.” He sticks his tongue out at Minho. “And by that, I just mean I’ve made friends for the first time since I was nine, and I’m happy. I have you, and Changbin-hyung, and Yoojin-hyung, and even Seoyeon  from class who always rolls her eyes at me, but always shares her study notes with me—and okay, I’m definitely talking too much now but meeting you all has made me really happy.  But when I think about it, I pulled you into my life, and made you learn an instrument practically by force, and that—it makes me think. So. Are <em> you </em> happy, hyung—?”</p><p>Minho softens at the realisation that this is the angle from which Jisung is coming from; that Jisung is asking out of true concern for Minho’s real feelings. </p><p>It makes him think as well; he <em> had </em> joined the band almost on a whim initially. Mostly because he had been intrigued by the younger boy. Happiness wasn’t an emotion he even considered when he made the decision a few months back, because Minho has always believed that happiness is the natural consequence of doing things that you choose to do yourself.</p><p>“‘Sung,” he begins, slowly, while biting the inside of his cheek so he doesn’t smile <em> too </em> widely. “I never do anything that doesn’t make me happy—and I never keep people in my life when they don’t make me happy.”</p><p>Jisung beams at him, no holding back, and Minho finds himself letting go of his reservations and allowing himself to mirror the expression. Jisung looks relieved, somehow, but also quite grateful. He opens his mouth to say something, and for a split second, Minho feels his heart skip a beat in anticipation for what else the younger has to share – and then the sound of the entrance bell echoes around the store, and just like that, the moment is broken. </p><p>Both of them turn towards the direction of the door, and sure enough, they find their bassist stepping in through the entrance.</p><p>“Yo—” Changbin greets them. “Yoojin-hyung texted and said he’s not making it tonight—are we still on for practice?” </p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>Maybe they should have seen it coming – it’s not as if Yoojin had been shy about being repeatedly late for practice, at times even foregoing it completely with nothing but a last minute explanation. But Yoojin had always seemed to be the sturdy and reliable type, so the rest of them simply excused his behavior – he was a third year, after all. He deserved to be able to place importance on his future, which meant if he had to put in extra cram school hours, the rest of them would let him. Just as long as he kept his throat safe and he was able to sing, the rest of the band are willing to put their faith in him.</p><p>Obviously, they should have rethought their leniency, because when, over lunch, barely a week before the cultural festival opens, he calls for a band meeting and announces his decision to quit, the only thing Minho, Jisung and Changbin can do for a full minute is gape at him shock.</p><p>“Wait—what?!” Even after Jisung has managed to gather enough wits to respond this is all he’s able to say. “Is this a prank? April 1st is still so far away—”</p><p>“What the fuck?” Changbin mumbles, a lost expression drawn on his face; between the two of them, Minho sits silently, arms folded across his chest. He looks passive, but he definitely does <em> not </em> feel passive. He’s just better at holding himself back, despite the tumultuous mixture of feelings swirling in his stomach.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Yoojin apologises, and to be fair, he <em> does </em> at least look frustrated with himself. He’s also unable to look any of them in the eye. “I just feel like I’ve been spreading myself too thin ever since the fall term started up—especially with the CSATs less than a month away, and—”</p><p>“We all knew when the CSATs were scheduled when we started this, hyung,” Minho interrupts icily, unable to keep his feelings at bay any longer; Jisung had looked like he was about to start crying at any second, and that had made him tick. “Why are you only making this decision <em> now?” </em></p><p>“Yeah,” Changbin chimes in. “The performance is in a week, hyung—can’t you just do this first and last one with us?”</p><p>“I mean—” Yoojin sighs. “I don’t think it’s fair—the three of you have been working so hard even without me. I don’t feel confident enough that I’ll be ready—I’m sorry.”</p><p>His expression looks sincere, and his tone even sounds deeply apologetic, but somehow his words feel hollow anyway, and that only serves to piss Minho off more. </p><p>“But we need a vocalist,” Jisung murmurs, small but pleading. “Hyung, please—” He looks up at the third year. “Like Changbin-hyung said—just this once? Can’t you do it with us?”</p><p>His expression looks frantic, and he’s obviously more than ready to beg if it means resolving this sudden situation with Yoojin. It really doesn’t sit well with Minho.</p><p>“Never mind,” he interjects abruptly, as he gets up to his feet. “If he doesn’t want to do it, we can’t force him.” </p><p>He finds Yoojin’s excuse weak at best; it’s true that as a third year, now is when he should be focusing on getting into a good college. They all knew that, and that was why he was allowed all the concessions they gave him. But him quitting anyway – and not even really giving them enough time to properly adjust? Yoojin did say he thinks it’s unfair, and Minho thinks he’s absolutely right – and that’s why Yoojin doesn’t deserve anyone’s tears, most especially Jisung’s. </p><p>“But—” Jisung exhales shakily, but he and Changbin both follow Minho’s lead and get up on their feet.</p><p>“‘Sung, it’ll be ok,” Minho tells him, his tone softer now – <em> gentler. </em> “We’ll be performing <em> your </em> songs anyway. You record all the guide demos, and you provide the vocals whenever we do practice. We don’t need him.”</p><p>Yoojin looks up at them with a faint, apologetic smile that Minho silently wishes he can wipe off his face somehow. But he decides to ignore him for now, telling himself that the third year isn’t worth wasting any more considerations over.</p><p>Instead, he meets Changbin’s gaze, and the two of them exchange a small nod.</p><p>“I agree with Minho,” Changbin declares as he pats Jisung on the back. “We have you, ‘Sung, so—” he turns and gives Yoojin a nod so polite that it’s almost comical. “So thank you for your time, Yoojin-hyung.”</p><p>Just like that, the three of them walk away together. It’s a cool exit; almost a scene straight out of a drama, especially since, once they’re out of the cafeteria, Jisung bursts out, frantic and whiny.</p><p>“I’m not a singer!” He looks like he wants to tear his hair out, and he looks ready to turn on his heel right there and then to match back to Yoojin and perhaps beg for him to reconsider – he probably would have, but Minho gently grabs his wrist, and stares at him as he steadies him. “Maybe if I go back and talk to Yoojin-hyung again—?” Jisung presses, still.</p><p>“‘Sung,” Minho tells him calmly as they lock gazes with each other. “You can do it,” he assures the younger as best as he can; he isn’t just saying it for the sake of calming the boy down either. Jisung might not sound as polished as Yoojin who started taking singing lessons when he was only eight years old, but his vocal tone has a smooth and clear quality to it that Minho has always enjoyed. “These are <em> your </em> songs anyway—who better to sing them?”</p><p>“Listen to Minho!” Changbin agrees. “I can’t believe I’m saying this,” he snorts, and Minho lightly smacks the back of his head, “but listen to Minho—he’s right. We can’t force someone who doesn’t want to do this with us.”</p><p>“I just—” Jisung groans. “I don’t understand!”</p><p>“None of us do,” Minho points out. “I don’t think even Yoojin-hyung himself understands—but I also don’t think that now is the time to try and figure out his reasons either.”</p><p>Jisung looks at him, weariness and uncertainty mirrored clearly in his expression; Minho isn’t feeling particularly steadier, but he smiles and claps the younger’s shoulders with a feigned come-what-may attitude.</p><p>“Right now, we need to figure out how to make what is technically our debut performance a success,” he says simply. “It’s been half a year, give or take, since we formed this bad, it’s high time we sing in front of an actual audience—so that should be our focus!”</p><p>“Again, I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Changbin echoes from next to Minho, grinning widely as he flashes a reassuring thumb up at Jisung,  “—but he’s right.”</p><p>Minho elbows him – playful, but hard enough to draw a dramatic groan from Changbin; their silly antics appear to work though, because they make Jisung laugh, and simple as that, the leftover tension in the atmosphere dissipates.</p><p>“Practice this evening, right?” Jisung confirms.</p><p>Minho nods. “We’re permanently inked into the studio’s schedule books for the rest of the week,” he assures his bandmates; he should know – he put them in himself.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>One day, if they ever make it big and they get around to playing at stadiums and arenas, they’ll probably look back and laugh as they realise that playing in a school auditorium in front of just a couple hundred of their school peers shouldn’t have been so nerve-wracking.</p><p>Minho, even now, thinks he shouldn’t be feeling as anxious as he is – after all he had already performed for this same crowd before, as a dancer, and he’d like to think that he did pretty well. He received a pretty flattering response, anyway. He had felt pretty confident at the time, relaxed, even – but right now, as they wait backstage for the emcee to announce their turn (first up, because the list was curated by seniority, and as a brand new club they have no choice but to open the entire event), he feels his heart pounding so hard, almost as if it's threatening to break his rib cage just from the intensity of its thump, thump, <em> thumping. </em></p><p>A million scenarios are running through his head at once; they had been allowed to set their instruments up on the stage earlier that morning. They had pooled in money to rent an entire drum kit, luckily discounted because they did so from the same music studio where he and Jisung work part time, and they’d needed to be at school practically at the crack of dawn that morning so they could be there when Sungjin arrived with the set. Their job manager had helped them do a sound check, and he certainly knew what he was doing, so they shouldn’t be worrying about amplifier settings, or any of the guitars going out of tune – and yet, those possibilities are still on top of Minho’s mental List of Things That Could Go Wrong. It doesn’t help that his palms are extremely sweaty, and every other second he’s imagining his drumsticks slipping out of his grip in the middle of a song, and flying all the way across the stage – maybe hitting Jisung on the head. Or Changbin, more likely.</p><p>“Hey—” Jisung, who is standing next to him, nudges him gently. Minho knows that the younger boy is just as nervous, so he tries to put together a confident smile. He’d rather bring Jisung comfort, instead of more anxiety. </p><p>But then Jisung slips his hand into Minho’s – his first instinct is to pull away, embarrassed at the gross, clammy feeling his sweaty palms will likely give Jisung, but the other tightens his grip; Jisung squeezes his hand, and looks up at Minho with a surprisingly serene smile.</p><p>“We can do this, hyung,” he whispers – and he sounds so sure and so confident, much like that first day when he first declared to Minho that he was going to form a band with him. “You got this—if it doesn't feel like that, then think of it like: I got you.<em> We</em> got this! Fighting!”</p><p>It amazes Minho, Jisung’s sudden calm countenance – much different from the ball of nerves Jisung had been the day before, during their last practice session – or even that morning, when he kept shaking his knees after they finished their stage set-up. </p><p><em> We </em> got this, Minho thinks in his head. And it's true, because Jisung brought them all together and that's why he should trust him. Even if Minho feels nervous, Jisung at least knows what he's doing, and he should trust that.</p><p>And then Changbin is breaking them out of their momentary reverie, ushering them on stage because the emcee has just announced <em> Please welcome A Very Special Guest! </em> Jisung lets go of his hand, and Minho moves as if on autopilot.</p><p>Changbin is the one who introduces himself first to the audience – and then he introduces Jisung as the front man, and Minho as the drummer. The crowd cheers, but at this point, Minho’s sole focus is on Jisung’s back because the image, for some reason, calms him down. </p><p>“Psst—!” He almost misses Changbin signalling him to start the song, and he has to laugh as he shakes himself back to focus. </p><p>Finally, he counts down to their first song – <em> three, two, one! </em> </p><p>Immediately, the opening of Jisung’s guitar riff fills the auditorium, and soon after, the low, rhythmic melody of Changbin’s bass guitar joins in to round out the sound. When Jisung opens his mouth to sing the first line of their song— </p><p>Minho thinks he will always remember this moment. </p><p>The crowd quiets down and for the next few bars of the first verse, Jisung’s singing is heard loud and clear through the school. Minho sets the beat, foot pressing the pedal of the bass drum to keep the groove of the song steady; he stops thinking too much about what he should be doing – and he just does it. He watches Jisung from behind, and he just <em> plays </em> the drums to his heart’s content.</p><p>There’s a reason they’re called front men, he thinks. Jisung, for all his worrying about suddenly being thrust into the role of band frontman and vocalist, is <em> born for this. </em> The energy he displays as he hypes up the crowd with his singing and guitar-playing, and the veracity he shows as he’s able to get the audience to sing along to the chorus of their song even if this is the first time they’re hearing it – more proof that Han Jisung was born to do this. He was made to perform in front of a crowd, and Minho feels adrenaline coursing and pumping through his system, because as the person supporting Jisung from behind – he feels more alive than he ever has.</p><p>This is his role as the band’s drummer. He doesn’t care what nonsensical schtick Jisung pushes about him being the band’s visual – what he’s going to do, is he’s going to support Jisung from behind. He’s going to lay down the foundation, the <em> base, </em> because this is the only way he can be sure that Jisung can express himself through music in front of an audience like he’s clearly meant to do.</p><p><br/>
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</p><p> </p><p>~~</p><p><br/>
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</p><p> </p><p class="interview"><b> <em>Is this what you always wanted to do?</em> </b><br/>
<b> <em>LMH: </em> </b> <em> Not really. (blinks) In middle school, I used to dance—I used to be told I was really good at that, and if I worked on it I could make something out of it. (laughs) There was also a time when I daydreamed about being a veterinarian? (laughs more) But one day, this little boy crashed into my life and pretty much—well. Here I am now. (smirks) </em></p><p><br/>
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</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>
  <span class="small">Something that you might want to note is that their band name is actually in Korean! It's 아주 특별한 손님, and is often abbreviated/shortened to 아특손 (AVSG, in the story text) when they talk about it! (Thank you <b>H</b> for that translation, too.)</span>
</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. TAKING OFF</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>
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</p><p class="lyrics">We're taking off together<br/>
Even though we always crash and burn<br/>
Tonight you and I will fall from the sky<br/>
Drag me all the way to hell<br/>
'Cause I'm never gonna let it go</p><p class="lyrics">— <b>ONE OK ROCK,</b> <em>Taking Off</em></p><p><br/>
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</p><p> </p><p class="interview"><b> <em>When did you realise that music was something you can do for a living?</em> </b><br/>
<b> <em>LMH: </em> </b> <em> (takes a moment) Jisungie—when I heard Jisungie sing. That was when I knew. </em></p><p><br/>
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</p><p> </p><p>~~</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>“Congratulations!” Jisung practically bounces over to Minho and Changbin in excitement, a wide grin split across his cheeks, and a bouquet of peach and yellow roses, accented with white baby’s breath, cradled in his arms. “You made it through high school!”</p><p>He proudly offers the flowers to Minho who beams as he accepts them. The happiness prevalent in his expression warms Jisung up from the inside; a brief moment passes as a montage of memories he’s shared with Minho over the last two years play in his head – sometimes Jisung lives his life like a movie, and this is one of those times.</p><p>“I picked the flowers myself,” he brags as he consciously pulls himself out of that mental walk down memory lane. He can’t believe that come the next school year, Minho isn’t going to be in school with him anymore, and he naturally wonders how that’s going to feel like.</p><p>Minho looks like he’s going to respond – with something sarcastic, probably, knowing him – but before anything can come out of his mouth, a rough clearing of one’s throat interrupts whatever magic Jisung might have imagined was going on, and he’s reminded that he and Minho aren’t alone.</p><p>“I graduated too, you know,” Changbin points out, sounding huffy and petulant. Beside him, Minho laughs, while Jisung resorts to rolling his eyes.</p><p>“Jeongin’s got yours,” he says, thumb jerking over his shoulder, while he and Minho lock eyes, and exchange a quiet snort with each other.</p><p>From behind Jisung, Yang Jeongin steps out into view, carrying a similarly arranged flower bouquet.</p><p>“Congratulations Changbin-hyung!” Jeongin chirps happily. “Jisung-hyung and Minho-hyung were having a moment—didn’t want to interrupt!”</p><p>“How polite,” Minho deadpans with a click of his tongue, while Jisung quickly hisses in clarification.</p><p>“I was congratulating Minho-hyung! You bet that was a beautiful moment!”</p><p>“Well where’s <em> my </em> beautiful moment?” Changbin whines.</p><p>“Here it is,” Jeongin declares as he unceremoniously shoves the flowers into Changbin’s arms. “Congrats on leaving this hellhole!”</p><p>Changbin opens his arms and moves in on Jeongin, giving him a hug and trying to plant an obnoxious kiss on his cheek. Minho and Jisung can only laugh in amusement as Jeongin makes a face and tries to push him away; on normal days, Jisung would maybe try to wrangle a kiss out of Jeongin as well, but he supposes he can give Changbin this as a graduation gift.</p><p>Jeongin is the newest member of <em> A Very Special Guest </em> – not that he’s really “new” per se, since he’s been with them for close to a year at this point.  He had entered their high school as a freshman at the start of the school year; Jisung had first found him loitering near the band’s club room. The club, officially registered with the school as the ’Music Appreciation Club’ had undergone a full rebranding at the end of the previous school year – with Yoojin and Chan having graduated, they needed more members to continue their accreditation, and after their successful turn at the previous year’s school festival, they had gathered enough attention from students who wanted to join the club.</p><p>For the most part, the other members just went and hung out at the club room, learning their choice of instruments on their own or with each other, or exchanging music recommendations. Jisung had assumed that Jeongin wanted to sign-up to do the same, but one afternoon he had walked in on the first year playing a soft arrangement of one of their songs on a keyboard, and he had both been surprised and interested.</p><p>“How do you even know that song?” he had asked.</p><p>“I saw you and the other sunbaenim play it last year,” Jeongin explained.</p><p>“You weren’t even a student here yet,” Jisung pointed out, eyebrow lifted.</p><p>“My older brother was, though,” Jeongin said. “Me and my little brother went to the school festival for support.”</p><p>Jisung had paused and stared, the gears in his head quickly turning. And then, very simply, he asked, “You wanna play that song, along with a few others with me and the others?”</p><p>Jeongin had lit up at the invitation; Jisung then dragged him along to a practice session with Minho and Changbin at Studio J later that evening, and the band hasn’t played a single song without the first year keyboardist since – and that’s actually saying a lot, since AVSG has managed to score themselves a few performances here and there over the last year at small Hongdae clubs. </p><p>Chan, former student council president and their once phantom member, turned out to be very well connected and had helped them land their first non-school related gig at a newly opened club apparently being managed by a childhood friend of his. They were made to be an opening act, and they basically got paid with food, but there was something about playing for a crowd of strangers that spurred them on and slowly helped shape the reality of a dream. </p><p>While they didn’t exactly skyrocket to popularity, between that and the way they slowly grew their audience through spontaneous busking sets in the Hongdae area, they landed more club auditions far easier, which led to more paid gigs. The money was bare minimum, and mostly put into maintenance of their instruments (Minho has a near complete drum kit by now, thanks in part to that cash), but every time they performed in public – every time they heard the cheers of the audience, and every time complete strangers hummed and swayed along to songs that <em> he </em>wrote, Jisung felt his resolve to continue on this path grow; he could only hope that the other members of the band felt the same as him each time, and that is the most nerve wracking thing of all, if he’s to be honest.</p><p>“Come on, Jeongin, give Changbin a kiss so we can move on to more important things,” Minho teases the youngest, who only wrinkles his nose in response.</p><p>“Right!” Jisung nods eagerly, slinging an arm around Minho’s shoulders with a large grin. “Like taking pictures, so hyung and I can go off and have lunch with his parents already—I’m starving!” </p><p>“Tch,” Minho scoffs and lightly taps the back of his head. “Freeloader,” he teases, and Jisung simply grins at him.</p><p>All the members of the band have considerably gotten closer over time, but somehow Minho and Jisung especially spend most of their free time together. He’s been to the older boy’s house a lot over the last couple of years, and Minho’s parents <em> and </em> cats have taken a liking to him.</p><p>(“Doongie loves me more,” Jisung had joked once when he was over, revising for midterms. Doongie was Minho’s second cat, and the more anti-social one among his two pets, but for some reason, that one afternoon, he had chosen to turn Jisung’s lap into his personal bed. Minho had glared at him, and proceeded to ignore him for the next two hours.)</p><p>“It’s not my fault your mom loves me enough to invite me to your graduation lunch,” Jisung points out cheekily.</p><p>“It’s only because you’re a scrawny, little brat,” Minho retorts.</p><p>“It’s not my fau—” Jisung opens his mouth, all set with a comeback of his own.</p><p>“Stop—!” Changbin interrupts them. “No one enjoys your ritual banter except you two, so let’s take pictures now!”</p><p>They hurry to pose, all four of them – as if it’s all of them together moving on from this stage of life, and not just Minho and Changbin. But that’s just the thing, Jisung thinks – graduation from high school doesn’t matter as much as knowing that they’re all aiming for the same thing outside of high school.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>Lunch with Minho’s parents doesn't take very long – a couple of hours, at most, spent at Minho’s favorite BBQ restaurant in Itaewon. Despite being the star and celebrant of the day, Minho does most of the grilling, while Jisung mostly eats as he listens to Minho’s parents talk to their son about his future options.</p><p>Both Minho and Changbin had taken the CSATs at the tail end of the previous year, and both of them had gotten good results. Changbin, as expected, is set to start attending one of the country’s more prestigious universities – and that was fine, as he had always been very good at juggling his academics with his extracurriculars. Minho was good at that as well, but he had recently confided in Jisung that he was unsure what he wanted to major in, and he’d rather not waste his time – or his parents' money – when he knew for sure that he’d prefer a steady income while putting more focus on making music with the band, at least in the present.</p><p>“I don’t know if that’s going to change in the future—maybe one day I’ll wake up and decide I want a degree in Business Economics,” Minho had said playfully. “But right now—I like what we’re doing, ‘Sung. I want to see how far we can make it with this.”</p><p>Jisung had been ecstatic about Minho’s admittance, but he also knew that the confession wasn’t going to be as easy to make in front of his parents – which is the real reason why Jisung agreed to tag along what would otherwise have been a little celebratory family lunch.</p><p>That had been their joint assumption, at least.</p><p>“We want what you want, son,” is how Minho‘s father answered – there was slight apprehension in his tone, as if deep down inside he was not sure if his son was making the right decision; at the same time there was also a look of pure determination reflected in his eyes – like he wanted nothing more than to give his son his full support.</p><p>Jisung found that beautiful.</p><p>But also—</p><p>“Our future biopic is gonna be so boring,” he comments jokingly as he stares up at the ceiling of Minho’s bedroom. They had a gig later that evening, a little graduation season event at a small club in Hongdae, but they had time to kill so they decided to hang out a bit at Minho’s while waiting.</p><p>“Huh?” Minho, who had been absentmindedly twirling around in his swivel chair, stops and stares at him.</p><p>Jisung laughs. “Obviously, when we become famous, we’ll option film rights of our origin story to some award-winning filmmaker! But our origin story has been completely devoid of drama so far. Your parents are being supportive, mine don’t really care what I do—and Binnie-hyung is Mr. Perfect juggling everything at once!”</p><p>Minho snorts and throws a drumstick at him. “We literally had a member leave right before our first public performance!”</p><p>Jisung shrugs nonchalantly. “Not enough!”</p><p>“What—you want my parents to be mad at my life choices?” </p><p>Jisung sits up, grinning. “Nah—we need a little hardship angst, though. All the greats had to overcome hurdles so they could transform into their final form.”</p><p>“You’ve been reading too many comics,” Minho responds, laughing.</p><p>“Won’t that be cool, though? Having a movie made about our life story?” Jisung continues to ramble, purposefully ignoring Minho’s verbal slight. “Lee Minho should play you.”</p><p>“Lee Minho would be ancient by then,” Minho points out.</p><p>“Not if we get a number one hit within the next two years,” Jisung retorts.</p><p>“Yeah, keep dreaming.”</p><p>Jisung cackles. “Well you’re ancient <em> now.” </em></p><p>Minho scoffs as he throws his other drumstick at Jisung, only for it to miss the target completely and simply bounce off the edge of the bed. “You’re barely a year younger than me, brat.”</p><p>“And what a glorious, youthful year that is.”</p><p>“God, I hope they get an actual rodent to play you,” Minho mumbles, a bit too lame of a remark, but Jisung laughs anyway.</p><p>And then Minho is tackling him back down on the bed, a better form of retaliation, and Jisung could only laugh some more as he tries to squirm away from the older boy—rather, <em> man, </em> he realises now as he’s easily trapped, because that’s what Minho is now.</p><p>“Mercy!” He yells, the moment Minho’s fingers dig into his sides to tickle him unforgivingly. “Mercy—mercy!” he pleads, until Minho finally lets go and rolls off, only to collapse next to him in a fit of laughter.</p><p> “Serves you right,” Minho exhales after his laugh tapers off.</p><p>Huffing, Jisung turns to face him, all set to bicker with him – only to be surprised at how close Minho apparently is to him. Whatever retort was at the tip of Jisung’s tongue disappears. And for a couple of seconds he ends up staring at Minho instead; his lips are curled up in a self-satisfied smirk, and a bright spark seemingly dances in his eyes as he stares up at the ceiling. </p><p>His profile is <em> perfect, </em> Jisung can’t help but think—and if he’s to be honest, that was originally why the older had caught his attention. It was the first day of his first year of high school, and he had seen Minho standing at the back of the bus, all by himself and focused on his phone in his hands. Jisung had ended up standing close to him, and he couldn’t help but sneak glances at him, too mesmerized by the cut of his jaw, and the unreal slope of his nose bridge. Jisung also remembers that through the earbuds that Minho had on, he could hear the heavy beats of the songs playing from his playlist—and <em> that </em> was what had made him wonder about who the beautiful boy is past the looks.</p><p>He doesn’t think Minho remembers him from that time, but for Jisung that had been when it all started. It feels so long ago now, and sometimes when they’re quietly together, Jisung can’t help but wonder if he and Minho would still have become friends if he hadn’t roped the older into being his then imaginary band’s drummer.</p><p>These days when they’re together—it’s impossible to imagine a life where they’re not friends; where they’re not Minho and Jisung who sit at the back of the bus together on the way to school, Minho and Jisung who work together at Studio J, and who take their breaks together, sometimes quietly eating their meat buns while on their phones – yet sometimes sharing triangle kimbap and chocolate chip cookies while they talk about anything and everything they can come up with.</p><p>Jisung would like to think they would have found their way to each other, somehow.</p><p>(Once, he’d brought this up, sort of, in a roundabout manner by mentioning that one time when he had curiously attended the dance club’s recruitment orientation. </p><p>“I have two left feet,” he said. “You probably would have been a scary sunbae—would we get along like this?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Minho had answered; and then he proceeded to completely ignore the actual question. “You’re clumsy, but you’re spry and light on your feet—there would have been merit to that.”</p><p>“You saying you would have turned me into a dancer?”</p><p>“That would be the same as me saying I’m a magician, Jisung,” Minho deadpanned, right before they both burst into simultaneous laughter.)</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>Jisung happily hums to himself as he walks through the aisles of the convenience store across Studio J, hungrily but indecisively eyeing the snacks laid out on the shelves—sweet or salty, he isn't really sure what he’s in the mood for at the moment.</p><p>He takes his phone out and decides to text Jeongin for a random decision. The youngest in the band had also started working at the practice studio, so while it’s Jisung (and Minho’s) day off, Jeongin has a shift presently, and Jisung figures he’d make him choose snacks in exchange for him possibly hanging out for free for the rest of the afternoon. (Minho started his other job as a barista at a cat cafe at another part of the city and Jisung is <em> bored </em> with nothing better to do; even Changbin is busy with pre-college prep, which leaves Jisung wishing he had more friends to bother.)</p><p>Just as he’s in the middle of composing a text message in the KakaoTalk app, head bowed as he walks down the aisle, he accidentally bumps into someone.</p><p>“Oh, sorry—” he mumbles automatically; when he looks up, he finds himself face to face with someone familiar. “Ah, Hyunjin-ssi!”</p><p>Jisung is familiar with the other boy through Minho, mostly, but also because Hyunjin has been to a handful of their performances before and he gets along fine with both Changbin and Jeongin as well. Somehow, they’ve never really exchanged much words, which maybe should be considered strange since they’re the ones in the same year at school. Then again, they’re also not in the same class, so Jisung usually doesn’t think of it too much.</p><p>Granted, Jisung also has the feeling that Hyunjin doesn’t really like him, for some reason.</p><p>Once, they had come across each other in the corridors of the school; Jisung was all set to greet him with a smile and a friendly wave, but Hyunjin simply gave him a second-long glare, brief but piercing, before averting his gaze and pretending to be engrossed with whatever his companion was telling him. It was weird, really, but Jisung was unbothered—he simply decided that he didn’t have to like Hyunjin either. </p><p>Hyunjin freezes momentarily, eyes wide with surprise after he also recognises Jisung, who half expects to be greeted with a snide remark, or at the very least for Hyunjin to rudely ignore him, just as he almost always does. (One time, Changbin had invited him to hang out with them after the band had played an early evening gig, and Hyunjin had agreed only to proceed to talk with everyone else in the band save for Jisung, throughout the rest of the night. Jisung does not forget things like that easily.)</p><p>“J-jisung-ssi,” is what he gets instead, Hyunjin slightly stammering, clearly unsure what to make of Jisung’s presence. “What are you doing here?”</p><p>“It’s a free country,” Jisung answers huffily, guard automatically up the moment Hyunjin spoke. He pulls himself up to his full height, annoyed that Hyunjin is nearly a full head taller than him. “I’m <em> allowed </em> to be here.”</p><p>Hyunjin’s expression crumples, undoubtedly because of the mild aggression in Jisung’s tone. He’d feel bad, but the way Hyunjin’s jaw tightens and he flashes a fake smile at him, simply ticks Jisung off more. “Well, I’ll leave you to your life then,” Hyunjin tells him, a tightness in his tone.</p><p>“Didn’t need your permission,” Jisung grumbles out of a need to have the last word, and then, without another thought, he grabs a big bag of prawn crackers off the shelf – the closest snack item he can reach – and he proceeds to storm off.</p><p>He’s just placed the item on the counter so he can pay for it, when, </p><p>“Jisung-ssi—” Hyunjin calls for him again, voice closer than Jisung would have thought he would be. Reluctantly, he looks over his shoulder and he finds the other boy right there, standing just a couple of feet away from him, looking quite uncertain.</p><p>“What?” he snaps, unable to keep the bite from his tone.</p><p>Hyunjin sighs, and to be fair, Jisung can tell that whatever he’s about to say is really taking a lot out of him, and that’s what renders him curious. Jisung supposes he can try and make things easier by smiling and cordially easing it out of Hyunjin, but he still feels a strong, albeit clearly petty, dislike of the boy so all he does is stare and wait for Hyunjin to continue.</p><p>“Are you free?” Hyunjin asks, and well, that isn’t what Jisung would have thought he would ask. “Do you have time for—uh. Coffee? Or any kind of drink.”</p><p>He looks really anxious, and Jisung finally starts to feel bad, all too familiar with that kind of nervousness, so he softens up.</p><p>“Why?” A lopsided grin curves on his lips, and he switches to a more teasing tone in order to loosen the obvious tension between the two of them. “Are you treating?”</p><p>Hyunjin stares at him for a few seconds more – and then once again he proceeds to surprise Jisung with a nod.</p><p>“Yeah, okay sure—my treat.”</p><p>The tension is thick as they order drinks at the pricey coffee chain located just down the street – Jisung gets an Iced Americano, and he tries his best not to make fun of Hyunjin’s pink, frothy drink, if only because he casually adds a small piece of cheesecake to his order before the barista completes the transaction.</p><p>Hyunjin gives him an exasperated look – which Jisung returns with a smug, challenging grin – but he doesn’t protest, and simply slides over his card to pay.</p><p><em> Rich kid, </em> Jisung almost remarks snarkily, but he successfully manages to hold his tongue. Hyunjin is clearly <em> trying </em> to be cordial, and Jisung’s the one who’s getting free treats, so the least he can do is try as well.</p><p>“So,” Jisung starts, staring at Hyunjin as he takes a long sip of his drink. “What’s up?”</p><p>Hyunjin blinks, and looks down briefly before looking up again and Jisung’s gaze. “I’m sorry,” he says simply, and <em> wow, </em> because Jisung is losing count of the number of times that Hyunjin has surprised him that afternoon.</p><p>The apology indirectly confirms the animosity between the two of them, however, so Jisung is somewhat relieved that it wasn’t all just in his head.</p><p>“Okay?”</p><p>“Yeah…” Hyunjin trails off, and for a few moments there’s only awkward silence as they both look away and pretend to busy themselves with their drinks and pastries.</p><p>“Why—” Jisung finally braves breaking the silence. “I mean—why were we even fighting?”</p><p>“We—we weren’t,” Hyunjin argues; and then he sighs, as if he knows it’s silly to be technical about it. “I just didn’t like you,” he admits, simply, with a shrug.</p><p>Jisung scowls, feeling his annoyance bubbling up to the surface once more. This is why Hyunjin annoyed him, he remembers now. He acts so matter of fact about whatever that’s going on with them, when as far as Jisung knows, he has done absolutely nothing to warrant the other boy’s dislike. “The fuck did I to you?”</p><p>Hyunjin mutters something under his breath that Jisung does not fully catch – something about his unnecessary use of foul language, he thinks, which riles him up even more. He narrows his eyes suspiciously at Hyunjin, willing him – <em> daring </em> him – to repeat whatever it was that he said, loudly and more clearly.</p><p>“It’s stupid.,” Hyunjin grumbles instead. “Look, I know you didn’t—you didn’t really do anything, but at the same time you did.”</p><p>Jisung frowns. “Dude, you’re not making any fucking sense.” He’s being potty mouthed on purpose now, really. He’s also beginning to regret letting Hyunjin pay for everything, because now he feels like he can’t just cut this ridiculous conversation short with a dramatic exit – and he badly wants to make one.</p><p>“You took Minho-hyung away,” Hyunjin finally spits out, and Jisung could only blink and stare. That one’s the biggest surprise Hyunjin’s given him this entire afternoon, he supposes, because—</p><p>“What the fuck?!” </p><p>Hyunjin is maybe more unhinged than he originally thought.</p><p>“No, no, no—” Hyunjin gestures wildly as he tries to backtrack. “Just—I mean. From <em> dancing, </em> okay?” Jisung keeps looking at him weirdly, and Hyunjin’s shoulders visibly slump even as he continues his explanation. “For a while I was mad at you because hyung gave up dancing—I blamed you for it. And yeah, it was unfair, but I—he—hyung was a great dancer, and—” he finally cuts himself off, an embarrassing pink dusting the apples of his cheeks.</p><p>“You looked up to him,” Jisung realises out loud. It now dawns on him that he's never really seen Minho properly dance. Once, maybe, when he had attended a dance club meeting out of curiosity, and Minho, along with a few other upperclassmen had shown them a simple medley choreography, but apart from that—if Jisung is to be honest, sometimes he forgets Minho was once a dancer. It doesn't help that the older male hasn't really talked about it in any capacity more than a passing mention.</p><p>Hyunjin winces at Jisung’s observation. “I just think—well. You have to know that Minho-hyung was an amazing dancer, and if he wanted to do it for the rest of his life—he very easily could have. Except then, you came along and suddenly his priorities got all screwed up!”</p><p>Jisung gawks at him. “I didn't make Minho-hyung do anything!” He protests, even though, okay, technically he <em> did </em> corner Minho and made him learn to play the drums. It wasn't as if he did it at gunpoint though, so if push came to shove, Minho still had a choice. He's bigger and older than Jisung, for fuck's sake, and knowing what he knows about Minho now, he's more than aware that he could never make him do anything he doesn't want to.  It was just that, for some reason, he was lucky enough that Minho easily <em> chose </em> to make music with him.</p><p>“Look—” Hyunjin grits his teeth. “It’s silly and petty and I know that okay?! That's why I’m trying to apologise here!”</p><p>It saddens Jisung to think of making music with the band being nothing more than a passing mention or a casual interest for Minho; a frown briefly adorns his features but then he decides to trust the look he always sees in Minho’s eyes every time they perform together and he feels better. Still, he manages to garner enough sympathy for Hyunjin.</p><p>“Fine,” Jisung huffs. “Apology accepted.”</p><p>They stare at each other, tension thick in the air – and then Hyunjin looks away, completely red in the face, and Jisung can’t help but laugh out loud. He didn’t have any real reason to be mad at Hyunjin, really, and it feels silly to hold on to a grudge that was only there to begin with as some form of petty retaliation. </p><p>Two years ago, pettiness wouldn’t have stopped him from anything, but these days – he wonders if this is what they call ‘growing up.’</p><p>“This doesn’t mean sitting together at lunch though, right?” Jisung jokes, eyes narrowed playfully at Hyunjin.</p><p>The other boy wrinkles his nose. “You wish,” he huffs; and then, after a pause, “But maybe next time Minho-hyung or Changbin-hyung invites me to hang out, I’m not gonna say no just because you’re there.”</p><p>Jisung snorts because he hadn’t even realised that had been going on; but he supposes he could live with the new normal Hyunjin is suggesting.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>~~</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>“I’m hungry,” Jeongin announces, fingers absentmindedly dancing along the white keys of the unplugged keyboard in front of him. They’re taking a break after two hours into a practice session, but it’s already half past eight in the evening, and none of them have had dinner yet. “Is Changbin-hyung still coming? We should get him to buy food on his way over.”</p><p>“Hmm—” Minho hums and pulls his phone out of his pocket, only to let out a small, but frustrated sigh. “He messaged fifteen minutes ago—he doesn’t think he’s gonna be able to make it because his study group is running late.”</p><p>Jisung lifts his gaze and exchanges a look with Minho; Changbin is already halfway through his first semester at university, and with midterms underway, it makes sense that he’s even busier with his studies than usual. To be fair to him, while he has been unable to attend a lot of practice sessions, he has not missed a single gig – and AVSG has been getting more and more booked recently. Just the weekend prior, they’d had to play at two clubs in a single night. The pay still isn’t great, but the fact that their name has slowly been getting around the city’s underground music circuit counts for something – that’s what Jisung wants to believe anyway. </p><p>Still, this is also why Changbin’s busy schedules are frustrating, despite being understandable.</p><p>“Let’s call it a night,” Jisung suddenly announces, only to garner surprised looks from both Minho and Jeongin. He shrugs and gets up from his seat so he can put away his guitar. “Changbin-hyung’s not coming, and we’ve practiced enough without him. And we’re all hungry, so let's go and get dinner together.”</p><p>“Are you treating, hyung?” Jeongin asks cheekily.</p><p>“Nah, but Minho-hyung is,” Jisung is quick to respond.</p><p>“Hey!” Minho shoots him a glare, which Jisung repays with a sweet smile. Minho grumbles under his breath as they all start to pack their things up, but thirty minutes later, he's wordlessly handing his card over the counter at the Burger King they find themselves at.</p><p>“Get your own!” Jeongin berates Jisung as he playfully picks at the younger boy's fries. He's doing it because he can, partly so he can annoy the younger boy on purpose, and mostly because he decided to get onion rings on the side with his burger instead – it isn't his fault that Jeongin made those fries look extra delectable.</p><p>Jeongin cages his food with his arms, keeping it away from Jisung who looks at Minho pleadingly for help; the latter simply laughs at their antics and offers his own order of onion rings to Jisung which makes him huff, and finally get up to his feet.</p><p>“Fine, fine!” He exhales dramatically. “I'll buy some myself.”</p><p>“Make it large so we can share,” Minho calls out after him; Jisung wrinkles his nose and sticks his tongue out at him before he makes his way back to the counter.</p><p>There's more of a queue compared to when they'd first ordered just around twenty minutes ago, so Jisung hangs back at the shortest one, impatiently shifting his weight from one foot to another as he waits. Someone taps his shoulder from behind, and when he looks around, he's met face to face with two girls—one of them looking at him with big, bright eyes while blushing, while the other is very clearly doing her best to hold back a giggle.</p><p>His forehead creases with confusion, and he quickly assumes that they must have gotten the wrong person. Before he can turn back around, however, the giggly girl blurts out,</p><p>“Han Jisung-ssi!”</p><p>“Uh?” He's even more confused now, but he nods slowly. </p><p>“We're big fans!” The bright-eyed one gushes, and for a few more seconds, he remains bewildered—and then it dawns on going what they mean.</p><p>“AVSG?” He confirms, and both of them excitedly nod in acquiescence. Jisung blinks, and he feels a warm flush rise up from his neck to his face.</p><p>“Can we—” one of the girls make a picture taking gesture with her hands, and Jisung feels slight panic rising in his chest. He glances back at the front of the line and finds that the person in front of him is just about to read his order; feeling trapped, he nods, and manages his biggest, brightest smile as the two girls squeeze him in between them for a group selfie.</p><p>He doesn't know how to feel overall; he feels very flattered, of course. Proud to have been recognized in the streets, and he feels that's testament to how well the band has been doing recently. On the other hand, the little encounter did not give him the same kind of ecstatic high he gets whenever he's on stage and fans cheer for them—a clear sign of the crowd connecting with them through music he wrote and developed with the rest of the members. He belatedly realizes that they haven't even said anything about his actual music—only that they're <em> fans. </em></p><p>The girls look like they want to ask for another picture, but Jisung is saved by the employee behind the counter calling his attention by asking for his order. He gives the girls an apologetic bow, only to huff out a very small sigh of relief before distractedly ordering the fries he came to the counter for, to begin with.</p><p>He marches back to their table right after, eager to share what just happened; he'd convinced himself that it was more a good thing than anything else, and that the uncertainty he'd felt was something that would go away with time once he gets more used to the attention away from the stage.</p><p>“Hey—” He cuts himself off when he finds that there's a new presence at the table, seated next to Minho. “Hwang Hyunjin—” Jisung is surprised at his sudden appearance, but Hyunjin greets him with a big grin, which he promptly returns.</p><p>The questioning glance that Minho throws his way as he parks himself next to Jeongin, across the table, isn't lost on him. He never really told Minho about his other encounter with Hyunjin from a while back, or about how the two of them have progressed to cordial greetings in the school hallways – then again, it's not as if the weird antagonism between him and Hyunjin was ever officially a topic of conversation. Jisung didn't want to burden Minho with it, after all Hyunjin was his friend—not to mention, frankly, Hyunjin just wasn't a topic that ever really came up in their conversations.</p><p>Minho's surprise is proof that other people had also noticed that he and Hyunjin didn't really like each other, but Jisung feels smug that they've managed to patch things up by themselves.</p><p>“So,” Hyunjin looks around the table, “where's Binnie-hyung?”</p><p>“Study gr—hey!” Jeongin begins to answer only to cry out and swat Hyunjin's hand when the latter reaches for a handful of fries from his basket. “Get some from Jisung-hyung instead,” he demands, nudging Jisung's fries closer to the middle of the table.</p><p>Hyunjin shrugs and does as told, only for Jisung to gasp dramatically as he whacks Hyunjin's hand. “I don't think we're at a fries sharing level yet in our friendship!” he hisses.</p><p>“We have a friendship?” Hyunjin retorts easily; there isn't really any bite to it, but it still probably seemed loaded to both Minho and Jeongin though, because there's a quick second of tense silence.</p><p>“Yah, just because I forgot your friendship bracelet at home!” Jisung teasingly retorts, his cocky tone immediately dispersing the tension in the air as all four of them break out into combined laughter.</p><p>Once again, Minho casts a curious glance his way, which he returns with a grin and a casual shrug, a <em> maybe I'll tell you later about it. </em> Minho narrows his eyes more, but he drops it soon enough, and the four of them spend the rest of the evening having fun, and bantering over food.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>Jisung completely forgets to bring up the fans that had approached him at Burger King, at least until he and Minho are alone again.</p><p>He had invited himself over to spend the night at Minho's—or maybe Minho invited him, it's hazy, because these days, with Minho out of high school, they've taken to having spontaneous sleepovers. Mostly it's Jisung going over to Minho's because his parents really do adore him, and also because Jisung likes to pretend that Minho's pet cats love him more than they do Minho.</p><p>He's sprawled out across Minho's bed, focused on his phone as he watches random guitar covers of his favorite songs on YouTube when Minho walks in, all freshly showered, and sits down next to him.</p><p>Jisung is unable to stop himself from inhaling deeply; Minho smells faintly like the milk &amp; oats scented soap that his entire family shares and admittedly, Jisung has taken a liking to it.</p><p>“You stink,” he says anyway. “One shower's not enough.”</p><p>Minho laughs, knowing that Jisung is just joking around; he leans down so he can peer more closely at Jisung's phone screen, and the latter can only will himself not to sniff Minho some more. </p><p>“Whatcha watching?” Minho asks, moving away and just leaning back against the headboard.</p><p>“Cha Hun-ssi uploaded another guitar cover,” he explains, holding out his phone as an offer to share the screen; Minho looks like he considers it briefly before waving his hand and shaking his head.</p><p>“Han Jisung,” he begins instead, in a tone that Jisung now knows means he's curious about something.</p><p>“Lee Minho,” he deadpans back. </p><p>“You and Hyunjinnie have friendship bracelets, huh?”</p><p>Minho says the words so nonchalantly, but the way he even just mentions that has Jisung cracking up.</p><p> “Why, you want one, too?” Jisung asks cheekily, grinning as he exits the YouTube app and locks his phone—when he turns to face Minho he's met with a light finger flick to his forehead.</p><p>“No thanks, I don't think it'd go well with my eyes.” Minho chuckles and slides down so he's lying on the bed, shoulder to shoulder with Jisung, who groans and punches Minho's arm as the latter continues to laugh.</p><p>“Really though,” Minho says, elbowing his side. “You and Hyunjinnie friends now?”</p><p>Jisung shrugs. “You proud of me?”</p><p>Minho snorts, but he does ruffle Jisung's hair, which is pretty much an answer in itself.</p><p>“You and Hyunjin are pretty tight yourselves aren't you?” Jisung finds himself saying before even giving it a thought. Hyunjin had been all over Minho earlier—one arm slung around the older's shoulders almost the entire time they'd been hanging out. ”You seemed awfully close,” Jisung adds, wiggling his eyebrows to make it seem like he's playfully teasing.</p><p>Jisung isn't sure why he had even made a mental note of that. Something about it had made him feel funny—maybe because he's used to having Minho by <em> his </em> side, arm around <em> his </em> shoulders, that it had been somewhat strange being across the table from them instead.</p><p>“What are you  saying?” Minho cuts through his thoughts with a laugh. “You know we've been friends for a long time. He's a friend who enjoys skinship a little too much—much like you, let's be real.”</p><p>Jisung rolls his eyes at Minho's teasing, but he also laughs and shoves Minho playfully. Something starts to stir in his gut because of the conversation though, and like with everything else that makes him feel discomfort, he tries to push it away.</p><p>This is how he remembers what happened earlier—an unfortunate association of one mildly uncomfortable feeling to another.</p><p>“Some girls approached me earlier,” he says, not even bothering to ease into a new topic—most of his conversations with Minho go like this on the daily.</p><p>There's a weirdly pregnant pause before Minho answers, “Heartthrob Han Jisung?”</p><p>Jisung laughs. “That, I am! No one can resist this handsome mug after all,” he adds, framing his face with his thumb and pointer finger.</p><p>Minho clicks his tongue, dismissive of Jisung's false cockiness.</p><p>“They really did say they were fans though,” Jisung presses. “Of the band. That's really cool, isn't it? I should feel good about it.”</p><p>Minho looks at him. closely, in a way that makes him feel like Minho is seeing right through him—he does that a lot, Jisung realises, yet it brings heat to his cheeks every time.</p><p>“Are you saying you don't feel good about it?”</p><p>Jisung hums really softly. “I did! I do—” He insists a little too strongly, only to break his cocky tone more as a smirk graces his features. “Just felt sorry for you guys don't get recognized in the streets—not everyone can be popular like me clearly. Natural charisma right here, baby,” he comments, patting his cheeks and winking at his friend next to him.</p><p>Minho snorts. “You're an idiot.”</p><p>Jisung cackles, only to bring up something else once his laughter tapers off. “Should we be worried about Binnie-hyung?”</p><p>“You mean because he's been missing practice a lot?”</p><p>Jisung nods.</p><p>“Truth?”</p><p>Jisung nods again.</p><p>Minho smiles. “Not really—at least I don't think so. But I know you're worried anyway.”</p><p>Jisung sighs. “Just a little. What if—” he winces, “like—Yoojin-hyung—”</p><p>Minho shakes his head firmly. “I really wouldn't think like that—but if you want me to talk to him—” He shakes his head again and looks into Jisung's eyes. “Or—you should, actually. Have a talk with him.”</p><p>Jisung keeps their eyes locked for a couple of seconds, and then he lets out a sigh. “I think we can really do this, hyung. With what we have right now—I think we can really make it.”</p><p>Minho nods, grinning as he looks up at the ceiling; he nudges Jisung's side. “I know.”</p><p><br/>
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</p><p> </p><p class="kakao"><b>seospearb:</b> hey sung u free?</p><p class="kakao"><b>hanminam: </b> ye<br/>
<b>hanminam: </b>sup hyung</p><p class="kakao"><b>seospearb:</b> gnna send u this melody im working on<br/>
<b>seospearb:</b> give me ur thoughts?</p><p class="kakao"><b>hanminam:</b> hit me!</p><p class="kakao"><em> seospearb has sent file <span class="u">track_0811IF.mp3</span> </em> <em><br/>
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</em></p><p><br/>
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</p><p> </p><p>Jisung stares.</p><p>A part of him is aware that he's being rude, but he can't help himself. He's always known that Changbin comes from a pretty well-off family, but seeing it in person in the form of his family's quite lavish apartment, with a sparkly chandelier at the center of the living room ceiling, and fancy looking marble countertops in the kitchen. Even the smell of the<em> air </em> at Changbin's is different, he thinks. More fragrant.</p><p>“Don't be weird,” Changbin chastises him as he leads the way to his bedroom, and Jisung consciously sets his jaw to make sure that he isn't outright gaping.</p><p>Changbin's room is quite spacious, at least from Jisung's point of view—then again as the youngest he's got the smallest room among his family, just a little bigger than a closet. Changbin's walls are adorned with posters of different bands and musicians; he has a shelf next to his desk filled with textbooks and, much to Jisung's surprise, what seems to be a small collection of vinyl records.</p><p>His bed stands out the most, though, if only because several Pokémon plush toys are lined up above the headboard. He doesn't feel right about throwing himself straight into Changbin's (very comfortable looking) bed like he did at Minho's the first time he visited <em> his </em> home, so he walks over and stands behind Changbin as the latter boots his computer.</p><p>It turns out, despite being a no show at most of their practice sessions, Changbin has been working on a lot of new music in his free time—which is more than Jisung can say about himself at the moment because he's been working more on rearranging older songs now that the band has plans to record a second, more proper demo. (They have most of their songs up on the band's SoundCloud account, but they were mostly bad quality recordings from some of their lives. Studio J recently had a small recording studio added to their property, and Sungjin agreed to help them record a few of their songs, and  all of them hoped that meant a chance at distributing their music in better quality.) Changbin's diligence shouldn't be surprising though, because he's always been the most vocal and involved when offering his opinions on Jisung's own compositions.</p><p>He'd been sending snippets of his own recent work to Jisung over the last week or so, and finally he'd asked Jisung to just come over during the weekend so that they could have a more hands on collaboration.</p><p>Jisung, of course, had suggested that they invite the rest of the band, but it turned out that Minho was working a full day shift at the cat café, and while he did promise to try and drop by after work, Jeongin was away for the weekend anyway, off in Busan to visit his grandparents with his brothers.</p><p>“I came up with some possible lyrics for that first tune you sent me,” Jisung shares, taking his guitar out of its case while Changbin opens his music production program. “You wanna hear?”</p><p>Changbin's style is a bit different from his own – his songs tend to have heavier beats, with a more defined rhythm and bass line resulting in catchy songs; understandable considering the instrument he plays. In contrast, Jisung is more focused on the melody and lyrics, and  Changbin has said more than once that his songs tend to have a beautiful topline.</p><p>Changbin gestures for him to play, which Jisung does, plucking at his guitar in accompaniment to the melody, and he sings the lyrics he'd penned one late night when he was bored because Minho had quit answering his messages an hour ago, presumably because he'd fallen asleep.</p><p>The afternoon passes quickly like this—the two of them jamming together in Changbin's room, and Jisung feels a satisfying kind of productivity as they work together.</p><p>“I noticed your songs have kind of, hmmm—” Changbin makes this comment out of the blue later that afternoon, when he goes over a few lines that Jisung has written on the fly just several minutes ago.</p><p>Jisung frowns, feeling nervous at the criticism he expects to come. “No good?”</p><p>“They're fine,” Changbin laughs. “Just—how do I say this—a little different? In subject matter?”</p><p>Jisung tilts his head, and stares, unsure what Changbin is going for.</p><p>“You used to write more about general observations—about loneliness, sometimes. About uncertainty, and finding your dreams—” Changbin laughs, while Jisung's frown deepens.</p><p>“Is that bad?”</p><p>“I didn't say that!” Changbin laughs. “Those—your songs meant a lot to me, 'Sung. It's just interesting—these newer lyrics, there's more yearning in them?” There's a lilt in his voice, like he's unsure about what he's saying.</p><p>“What—?!” Jisung's eyes widen, and he immediately, almost forcibly, laughs it off. “That's not it at all! You're reading too much into it, hyung!” His voice goes up a pitch; he's being overly defensive, and he doesn't even know why. </p><p>Changbin blinks at him; he looks like he wants to say something but then he eventually shrugs. “They're pretty relatable too,” he murmurs. “That's all I wanted to say.”</p><p>“Oh.” Jisung clears his throat; he's so uncomfortably warm and he just wants to push aside that feeling. “Yeah. Well. I'm the king of relatability,” he brags, just for the sake of doing so. Changbin laughs, and Jisung grins, acting like that had been his aim all along.</p><p>“I guess you are,” Changbin agrees, and he sounds surprisingly sincere. Jisung turns to him, expecting some sort of clarification, and he’s met with a lopsided grin on Changbin’s face. “Minho,” he continues, and if he didn’t have Jisung’s full attention before, he sure does now, “told me that you’ve been worried recently.”</p><p>Jisung winces. <em> Fuck, </em> because he didn't really think Minho would say anything; then again, maybe he should have known better because Minho and Changbin are best friends, and even if they often bicker when they’re all together, Jisung shouldn't be surprised that they talk about things like this. “Yeah, well—” he sighs, finding it useless to deny. “We’ve been through this before, hyung.”</p><p>Changbin’s grin has been replaced with a more solemn expression, and Jisung ducks his head, anxious.</p><p>“Fair enough,” he says with a nod. “But—I kinda brought up all that stuff about how your music is relatable because—that’s how <em> I </em> feel. And that’s why I’m in this band.”</p><p>Jisung laughs hoarsely. “I thought you were in the band because Minho-hyung twisted your arm into joining.”</p><p>Changbin snorts. “That’s also true,” he admits. “I figured I’d do this with him—he was damn insistent, it was kinda annoying. He said some annoying freshman convinced him to play the drums, and that I had to do this with him—I kinda caved, because no one really makes Minho do anything, so I was curious—but there’s a reason I didn’t quit even after graduating—and it’s also why I don’t plan on quitting any time soon.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Jisung blinks; Changbin's words feel familiar—like he should know where the older male is going with his sentiment, like he should have known all along. Still, he’s all ears because just knowing from feeling, is different from knowing because he’s been told directly.</p><p>“You make good music, ‘Sung. It’s inspiring in a way that gets <em> me </em> to create too, and—” he chuckles, ducking his head as if embarrassed. “I grew up with music, you know that—you know I used to play contrabass. Classical music. My parents made me try different things at an early age, but nothing really stuck. I always enjoyed music, but it never felt like I was truly expressing myself in a way that felt like me—at least until—” He laughs again, lifting his chin so he can meet Jisung’s gaze; he flashes a smile that shows Jisung just how much he means what he’s saying. “Something happened that first time we played for the school almost two years ago—and it keeps happening every time we go out and play for crowds, no matter how big or small. There's something about your words, and your music that lets me create and express myself in a way that feels natural—does that make sense?”</p><p>Jisung nods immediately because he knows exactly what Changbin means; it's the same kind of creative fulfillment he feels when making music with Changbin as well—and Minho, and Jeongin. He’s felt it all along, but he’s never really stopped to try and articulate those feelings like Changbin just did.</p><p>“In high school I was just—my only goal was to be a good son. To follow the path my Dad walked on, and to be successful in the same way he is. It was never quite fulfilling, but music was always what always helped me ease the stress, and thanks to you and the others, it's also become a means of expression.” Changbin smiles, and Jisung nods some more to express complete understanding. “So now I have a new goal—and I might be greedy because I still want to make my father proud by graduating from the same University that he did—but that doesn't mean I'm going to just drop the band because things get a little hard.”</p><p>Something takes over Jisung—a feeling that's so overwhelming that he simply allows himself to get carried away. He laughs, and pounces on Changbin, hugging him tightly—<em> gratefully. </em> </p><p>Initially, the older flinches, but Jisung simply tightens the hug as he exhales. “Thank you, hyung,” he declares, voiced laced with both conviction and happiness. “And—” he laughs as he pulls away, flushed, this time more with excitement than anything else, “—this is a little <em> High School Musical </em> but damn it, we're all in this together.”</p><p><br/>
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</p><p> </p><p>~~</p><p><br/>
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</p><p> </p><p>“I need to pee,” Jisung needlessly announces, finishing the rest of the water in his bottle before getting up and heading out of the waiting area.</p><p>“Hurry up, Smurfette—we're up in ten!” Minho reminds him, pausing from the way he had been quietly tapping his drumsticks against his thighs.</p><p>Jisung snorts, looks back before he steps out of the door, and flips him the bird. “You’re the one with the blue hands between the two of us.” Minho snorts and puts his hands up on display instead, even wiggling his blue tinted fingers, and Jisung can only laugh. “You’re an idiot, hyung,” he says, shaking his head and laughing; the two of them, on a whim, had picked up a pair of DIY hair dye packs at the supermarket earlier because they were on sale—BUY 1, GET 1 FREE. </p><p>They’d colored their hair in Minho’s bathroom sink, and Minho had stubbornly refused (forgotten, really, but he refused to admit as much) to use rubber gloves as advised in the instructions. As a result, his sink and his hands were all blue, just like his and Jisung’s hair.</p><p>Changbin rolls his eyes. “Fuck off the two of you, your idiotic name calling means nothing when you’re both Smurfs,” he points out, earning him a snort and a cackle from Jeongin who is leaning against the wall next to him.</p><p>Jisung turns to both of them, and gives them each the finger; it gets him more laughter in return so he resorts to sticking his tongue out at them, much like a petulant child.</p><p>“Go and pee already,” Minho tells him, laughing as he shoos Jisung off with his blue hands.</p><p>Jisung almost wants to make some kind of comment about how Minho is now closer to a future with the blue man group, but his bladder really does feel quite full so he just shakes his head, laughing as well before he sprints off to get to the bathroom at the end of the short corridor.</p><p>He doesn't take long, and he’s already washing his hands (while admittedly admiring his newly dyed hair in the mirror), when he hears soft giggling, accompanied by feet shuffling right outside the bathroom door. He doesn't think much of it, just finishing up and sloppily wiping his hands dry on his jeans before pulling the door open.</p><p>It's then that he realises that maybe he should have minded the noises from only a couple of minutes earlier because maybe then he wouldn't have been caught so off-guard by the small gaggle of girls hanging out in the hallway, right by the entrance of the comfort room. He blinks, and when they all turn to look at him at the same time, he feels something akin to dread creep up his spine.</p><p>The last few months saw another small spike in the growth of their fanbase, and Jisung experienced being recognized in the streets a couple of times more since that first time at a fast food joint. It's never really too bad—usually they just stop him to tell him that they recently saw the band and enjoyed the performance; occasionally, someone would ask to take a picture with him, and even though that part always makes him feel a little anxious, he manages to grin and bear it. Once, he had been caught by surprise after someone grabbed his arm in the street to get his attention, and that had been really bad for his nerves, but it never happened again, so he just tries to forget about that incident. This is his dream after all, and if he wants to make it big, having fans is a part of the package; this is what he always tells himself. </p><p>“Jisung-oppa!” One of them greets him, not even bothering with formal speech. She isn't shy about looking him in the eyes either, and Jisung is first to avert his own gaze as he feels the beginnings of anxiety prickling at him. “Your hair looks really cool!”</p><p>The hallway isn't very spacious, and even though there's no more than half a dozen in this group that he assumes are fans, it feels very suffocating anyway.</p><p>He opens his mouth to say something back, but no words come out. He feels dizzy, almost—somewhat shaky. He forces a smile, hoping that's enough, only to be thankful when he hears someone's familiar voice calling out to him.</p><p>“’Sung, come on! We're almost done with the sound check!” Not for the first time, Minho's voice gives him relief. He gives the girls his best impression of an apologetic smile, but he's quick to shuffle past all of them even as he notices the hushed whispers from most of them, sure proof that none of them are immune to Minho's blinding good looks.</p><p>“Couple look!” One of them hisses, and Jisung feels a flush creep up his neck because he hadn't even thought of their matching blue hair like that.</p><p>“The dye was on sale,” Minho shares playfully, winking at the fans just as Jisung reaches him; he quickly wraps an arm around Jisung, who easily melts against his side. His warm presence provides him comfort immediately, and he easily manages the calls of fans as they head towards the small stage together. </p><p>“You okay?” Minho asks him right before he lets Jisung go; there's sincere worry painted on his features which makes it hard for Jisung to lie. “You were kinda shaking earlier.”</p><p>Jisung inhales deeply, and then he smiles at Minho. “Just nerves,” he says, downplaying it as much as he can; he's pretty sure Minho sees through him anyway. “Let's bring the house down,” he tries again with a wider grin, which to be fair feels a lot more genuine now that he's on stage surrounded by his trusted bandmates.</p><p>Minho stares at him, clearly studying him; Jisung makes eye contact and they stand there for a couple of seconds until Changbin cuts through the tension by deliberately plucking at his strings in an obnoxious out of tune manner.</p><p>“Yo, it's time to start the set,” he says—through the microphone, no less, which earns him a cheer from the crowd. Both Minho and Jisung relax, and when Minho gives Jisung an encouraging smile, he offers his fist in return. </p><p>Minho bumps knuckles with him, and whispers, just for the two of them to hear, “You got this... and if you feel like you don't, then I got you. We all do. <em> We </em>got this.”</p><p>Jisung grins; between that, and the way the crowd's cheers get even louder after he turns and makes his way to the center of the stage. He picks his guitar up—he can only hope that it's tuned correctly enough since he wasn't able to do the sound check, but it's almost magical, the way his worries go by the wayside as soon as he slides the strap over his head.</p><p>He grins, and adjusts the microphone stand in front of him. “Yo everyone!” he yells, a little too loud that it causes feedback to echo around the small club. “We're A Very Special Guest and we're here to make your evening special!”  The cheers get louder, lending Jisung even more confidence; he doesn't know why the attention he receives when he's in the spotlight like this is different from the attention he receives when he isn't—but as usual, he doesn't really want to question it. </p><p>“This first song is called ‘Classroom Warfare,’” he announces with a cheeky grin, and then Minho is counting down from  behind him—<em> 3, 2, 1! </em> </p><p>And then Changbin and Jeongin both follow, and then it's his turn, fingers expertly dancing along the strings of his guitar as he wails into his mic.</p><p>This is what he's good at, being on stage. Performing is like a second skin to him, and he knows that he can do it, everything else be damned, especially if he has people he trusts—the people who are backing him now—supporting him in every step of the way.</p><p><br/>
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</p><p> </p><p>“We should take a break.” Minho looks thoughtful and solemn as he tells the group this; Jisung looks at him with surprise and confusion – he had, as per usual, slept over at Minho's after the previous night's gig, and he hadn't mentioned anything about this.</p><p>“What do you mean?” Jisung asks.</p><p>Minho winces. “I mean—us.” He gestures around the table. “The band,” he further presses, leaving no room for interpretation.</p><p>They're hanging out at a Lotteria—splitting double patty burgers and fries in order to save funds—supposedly before they all get ready for back to back gigs that night; they were pretty booked until the end of summer break the following week, which is even more reason for confusion. </p><p>Jeongin is looking around the table as if trying to pick up  cues from everyone else on how he should react, but Jisung's own frown only becomes more pronounced when Changbin doesn't look the least bit surprised. </p><p>“Why the fuck should we?!” Jisung snaps, far more aggressive than he means to. He gets a long, drawn out stare from Minho, one that tells him Minho thinks he should already know why – it grates at his nerves, and he presses his lips together tightly, lifting his chin and silently urging Minho to say something because he sure isn't going to.</p><p>“I don't get it,” Jeongin finally speaks up, and three pairs of eyes settle on him.</p><p>Minho sighs, and sneaks one last glance at Jisung before speaking up. “Well, Bin and I were talking—” he begins, and Jisung can't help but deliberately release an annoyed scoff at that. “Jisung,” Minho turns to him, eyes piercing, voice imposing. “Do you have a problem? Maybe you want to share?”</p><p>His tone actually softens a little, and Jisung knows it's an opening for him to confess about his recent struggles. But he's too pissed off, so he looks down and takes a long sip off his tall soda cup instead.</p><p>“Things are just going to get really busy,” Minho explains, sounding strangely resigned as he directs his words mostly to Jeongin.. “After summer break ends, Bin has university again—you and 'Sung have school. The CSATs are coming up, too.”</p><p>That's stupid, Jisung wants to say, because they managed  the entire first half of the year just fine, and that was when Changbin was still adjusting to university life. And Jisung has long decided that he wasn't going to take college qualifiers because he had no plans of going to university anyway—granted, they haven't talked about this in a while, but he's pretty sure Minho remembers.</p><p>“And I kind of want to move out early next year,” Minho is still going, unnaturally gabby for once, as if he's baiting Jisung to interrupt. “So I've been thinking of picking up another part-time job.”</p><p>Jisung's bites the inside of his cheek, an attempt to reign in the bubbling anger he's feeling. He doesn't know why he's being like this – apart from the obvious probability that Minho is baiting him.</p><p>The previous night, Minho had tried asking him if he's been feeling fine—if everything's been going great on his end. Jisung was pretty sure that had to do with last night's obvious nervous shakes. Granted, that hadn't been the first time that happened because over the course of the last couple of months as it had slowly become a pre-stage occurrence. Jisung likes to joke that it's his personal ritual, but to be fair to Minho, last night was the worst it had been. Minho's casual inquiries were obviously him trying to get Jisung to admit that something was wrong, but frankly Jisung didn't really think there was anything to worry about – so he'd side stepped Minho's questions, and insisted they fall asleep to a sanitized television rerun of <em> A Tale of Two Sisters. </em></p><p>If he knew that Minho was going to pull something like this, then maybe he would have budged and admitted to his escalating anxiety—but hindsight is 20/20 and now he's just pissed off.</p><p>“We're booked for three more nights this week,” he points out, his tone so uncharacteristically cold that it surprises even him. “That's not counting the back to back gigs tonight.”</p><p>“We'll do those,” Changbin answers, speaking up for the first time since the impromptu band meeting had started. Jisung looks at him—<em> glares </em> at him, wanting him to know that he's not appreciative of him and Minho implicitly ganging up on him. Changbin avoids his eyes though, pretending to busy himself with the fries in front of him. “And then we take a break.”</p><p>There's a pause; Jeongin looks like he's still trying to follow what's going on.</p><p>Minho nods, finally. “Just a short one,” he says, as if trying to be reassuring. “Just so we can all take care of ourselves for a while.”</p><p>Jisung is pretty sure that the last bit is directed right at him.</p><p><br/>
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</p><p> </p><p>Just like that, Jisung suddenly has a lot of free time, especially during evenings.</p><p>The band had performed perfectly passable sets for the last handful of gigs they had already booked; each time, Jisung had felt sick to his stomach before performing, to the point where he'd quietly sulk in the corner of the respective venues' back rooms—not even bothering to check out acts that performed ahead of them, if any, because of the crowded audience—until it was time for sound check and everything was suddenly okay again, at least for the next half hour.</p><p>He didn't sleep over at Minho's during any of those nights, but he did begrudgingly accept Changbin's offer to drive him home each time. In Jisung's mind, he was owed at least as much anyway.</p><p>And then school started up again, and he's now realising just how much of his time—his <em> life, </em> really, had revolved around the band, and the people in it.</p><p>After school, he still goes to Studio J to work his afternoon shifts. He knows that he can technically pick up more work hours, but either Minho or Jeongin—sometimes even both—are always around because they work there too, and Jisung really doesn't want to be around any of the band members more than he has to.</p><p>He's perfectly aware that Jeongin didn't really do anything—the two older members were the ones who <em> conspired </em> behind their backs, but Jisung is just <em> that </em> childish enough to lump them all together during his petty sulking. Minho has also tried talking to him a bunch of times—has messaged him dozens of times on Kakao with funny animal memes they both would have laughed at together before; Jisung is polite and cordial with him in person, but his messages are always left on read.</p><p>Because of his own stubbornness, his evenings are left wide and empty. Once, he attends a line-up gig at an all-ages club in Hongdae—at this point, he's friendly with most of the acts anyway, so he was free to hang out backstage; but it didn't feel right, not without Minho, or the rest of the band. And once a couple of fans spotted him in the crowd, he was out of there pretty quickly.</p><p>He supposes that what sucks the most about the band going on hiatus, is the realisation that he doesn't really have good friends outside of the band—besides, even if he did, all his classmates were on lockdown, busy studying for the fast approaching College Scholastic Aptitude Test.</p><p>He ends up simply going home most nights, holing up in his room after helping clean up dinner dishes. He ends up scouring corners of YouTube that he's never before ventured into—once, he had spent five hours just watching people quietly work on jigsaw puzzles. For some reason, there was one channel with hundreds of videos like that, and from there YouTube kept automatically playing similar content, until he finally remembered to check the time and it turned out to already be half past one in the morning.</p><p>Eventually, though, he reaches a point where he starts feeling restless with this routine; like he has a lot of excess energy that he needs to dispel, especially since his new routine hasn't really been drawing out any form of creativity from him.</p><p>And so – this is how he comes across Hyunjin one evening, some time after he’s had enough of the suffocating stale air of his bedroom, and he’s taken to riding the bus around town, getting off at random stops on different nights in his attempt to go and find cafes, or even convenience stores, to pass time in.</p><p>“Han Jisung!” He almost jumps out of his shoes when he hears someone call his name the moment he steps off the bus; he’s been deliberately choosing quieter areas of the city, as far away from the more youthful parts of town where the very small percentage of the population might possibly know who he is. But then he looks towards the voice, and he relaxes considerably when he recognises who it is.</p><p>“Hwang Hyunjin,” he returns, exhaling with relief; the corner of his lips even twitch up a little, a hint of a smile. “What are you doing here?”</p><p>Hyunjin laughs and motions down the street. “I go to cram school close by. This is where I wait for the bus that takes me home—why are <em> you </em> here?”</p><p>“Oh. Well.” Jisung pauses because he doesn't really know how to answer; he’s here because he’s bored and he has nothing better to do – not really something he wants to admit to Hyunjin, even though it's probably obvious. “Is there any place to hang out near here? I could use an Iced Americano,” he says, deciding to ignore Hyunjin’s question.</p><p>“There’s a small Starbucks next to the academy,” Hyunjin offers. </p><p>“That way?” Jisung asks, pointing down the  way Hyunjin had gestured at earlier. “Thanks,” he adds when he receives an affirmative nod.</p><p>Hyunjin shrugs. “No problem,” he answers casually; and then, after a beat, right before Jisung is about to salute him goodbye, Hyunjin asks, “You want some company?”</p><p>Even Jisung is surprised at how quickly he finds himself saying yes.</p><p>“There's also a PC bang nearby,” Hyunjin volunteers as their Starbucks destination comes into sight. “Do you play LOL or Overwatch or something?”</p><p>“Err—” Jisung chuckles, and sheepishly runs the back of his neck; he hates admitting to any kind of weakness even if it's something as trivial as computer games. “I kinda suck.”</p><p>“Oh.” Hyunjin then laughs. “I do, too.”</p><p>Two hours later and they're yelling at each other as they repeatedly almost kill one another in a game where they're supposed to be playing as teammates—and Jisung is having the most fun, and feeling the most relaxed he has been in weeks.</p><p>“I guess you're alright company after all, Hwang,” Jisung tells the other male after they're done; he even makes sure to pay for Hyunjin's hours because he hasn't forgotten when he'd made the other pay for coffee <em> and </em> cake just because he can.</p><p>“You guess?!” Hyunjin scoffs; his expression is gentle though, and the smile that graces his features is enough to show that he had a good time as well. “You're welcome,” he adds, and even though Jisung had not explicitly offered his thanks, that much is clearly understood between them.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>Somehow, he starts hanging out with Hyunjin more and more; it starts with them meeting up mostly at night, after Hyunjin's cram school sessions end, with them just hanging at PC or manhwa bangs so that Hyunjin can unwind, and Jisung can simply pass time. </p><p>And then one afternoon, they find themselves eating lunch at school together, and from then on, they find themselves hanging out around school grounds more often than not.</p><p>“Aren't your friends looking for you?” Jisung asks one time,  as the two of them spend one afternoon together, loitering by the fire exit of the sciences building, where they had a perfectly nice view of the girls' softball team—of which, Jisung has since learned in the last week, Hyunjin's cousin Yeji was the captain of—as they practiced.</p><p>“Third years aren't allowed in the dance studio anymore,” Hyunjin explains. “Not until after exams are done. And my friends in class always have their noses buried in their books these days—when I hang out with them, I feel like I should do the same. It's suffocating.”</p><p>“Ah, so the only option is to spend time with the school bum,” Jisung jokingly comments.</p><p>Hyunjin laughs, but then he elbows Jisung and offers him a warm smile as if to show he doesn’t really buy into that way of perceiving Jisung. “I think it's cool you know what you want to pursue after we graduate,” he suddenly says, voice all solemn even though his gaze is locked on the tiny figures of the girls’ softball team. “I also know you probably would pass the CSATs if you actually tried anyway—weren’t you in the top five overall of our class for Korean Literature last year?” Jisung’s eyes widen in surprise; he doesn’t know why Hyunjin even knows that.</p><p>“Did you have a crush on me?” he teases. “Is that why you were looking up my grades?!”</p><p>“Gross,” Hyunjin retorts immediately. “They always post ranks publicly, and your name was right at the top—how could I ignore that? Weren’t you also in the upper tenth percentile of the entire year at one point?”</p><p>“That was only during our first year,” Jisung mumbles; that was when he still exerted a bit of effort on his grades—not to mention he had over educated himself during middle school, when he was still homeschooling so he happened to be ahead in some subjects.</p><p>“Didn’t peg you for the humble type, Han,” Hyunjin says, laughing.</p><p>Jisung huffs and lifts his chin. “What's your point, Hwang?”</p><p>Hyunjin grins. “That you’re smart, but you have other dreams, and that doesn't make you a bum—that makes you more focused than the rest of us still trying to figure out what we even want to major in university—<em> if </em> we even get into university.”</p><p>Jisung preens at the genuine compliment. He still isn't used to Hyunjin being this nice to him, not after years of silent antagonism between them, but he’s finding out that the other boy is much sweeter than he could have ever imagined. A good friend, as well, which is kind of nice—also, he’s very good looking, which—he’d digress, because that’s actually the least of Hyunjin’s merits.</p><p>“Thanks,” he mumbles.</p><p>“You’re welcome,” Hyunjin chirps; he elbows Jisung once more. “So—you wanna tell me what's going on with the band?”</p><p>That puts Jisung on alert immediately. “What do you mean?”</p><p>Hyunjin shrugs. “You haven’t been playing gigs recently—no one’s been updating any of the band’s social media accounts either.”</p><p>“You follow those?” They have a Twitter account that mostly announces their schedules whenever they book them, and an Instagram account where they post random pictures that range from performance pictures taken by friends, to random candids of the members when they hang out. Both were mostly handled by Jeongin even though they all had access, but Jisung supposes, with the hiatus, there really isn't any reason for any of the accounts to even be semi-active.</p><p>“Of course, I’m A Very Special Guest’s biggest fan after all!” Hyunjin grins at him proudly,</p><p>Jisung just squints at him. “Since when?”</p><p>“Since Minho-hyung joined,” Hyunjin answers matter-of-factly.</p><p>Jisung can’t help the subtle sting he feels at the words; it’s been awhile since he and Minho had exchanged words that didn’t have anything to do with work or the clients at Studio J. “Do you like him like that?” He finds himself asking.</p><p>He expects Hyunjin to give the question some actual thought, so it surprises him that the other boy is ready with an answer—almost as if he’s had enough time to consider and figure this out before. “I just look up to him a lot,” Hyunjin tells him; there’s a wistful smile dancing on his lips which Jisung doesn’t really want to decode.</p><p>“I thought you didn't like him being in the band,” he counters.</p><p>Hyunjin groans dramatically. “You're not answering the original question.”</p><p>Jisung sighs and shakes his head. Recently, he's been doing a lot of reflection with regards to how he's handled the entire thing with the band, and he's concluded that maybe he'd been a little too stubborn. He doesn't think it's appropriate to tell Hyunjin this, though, especially not when he's yet to talk about it with Minho, and the rest of the group.</p><p>The truth is that it hurts a lot—not even really what went down, with Minho and Changbin deciding to go on hiatus without properly consulting him first, because now that he's replayed that meeting at Lotteria a few too many times in his head, he recognizes that didn't really argue his side when he had the chance. What really hurts more is that he misses them; at least three times a day he'll think of something and the first person he always wants to go tell is Minho but he doesn't know how to do it anymore. It's stupid because it's only been a few weeks, and it's silly because it isn't even the first time he and Minho have had an argument. Usually, one of them would send a funny animal meme or an interesting video link over Kakao, and all would be well—except this time around Jisung kept Minho on read all the times he tried to do that. Even on his own birthday, when Minho sent him a sticker of a cat blowing on a cake, the most he'd responded with was a polite, but curt ‘thank you hyung.’</p><p>That was probably <em> his </em> loss, more than anyone else's, because he'd spent that day sulking until he had let it slip to Hyunjin that it was his birthday, and the latter generously bought a slice of strawberry shortcake for him.</p><p>“They wanted a break, so now we're on break,” he explains curtly. “And I guess you could say that I was salty about it.”</p><p>“They want to break up?” Hyunjin's expression contorts into one that's of grave concern.</p><p>“No, no—” Jisung is quick to correct. “Just a break—a temporary hiatus.”</p><p>“Wait—what? Why?”</p><p>Jisung sighs. “Because,” he winces, “I—I have some problems that I need to fix, I guess.”</p><p>“Huh? What do the hyungs have to say about that?” Hyunjin frowns. “Jeonginnie?”</p><p>“Nothing.”</p><p>“Nothing?”</p><p>Jisung sighs yet again; he really doesn't want to go  into too much detail because it feels like some sort of betrayal, but at the same time he's itching to sort his feelings out loud. “The thing is that—well, I didn't really want to admit that I was having some problems, and I guess that was a part of the bigger problem. Sorry—” he chuckles, “I must sound confusing.”</p><p>“Yeah, totally,” Hyunjin immediately affirms, which earns him a playful punch on the arm from Jisung. “But maybe—maybe that's the first thing you need to do? Sometimes the admittance of a problem is more than enough of a start—I think I read that somewhere.”</p><p>Jisung huffs, but deep down, he knows that Hyunjin is right.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>Saturday evening, and Jisung is peering through the glass windows of The Purrfect Cup. He's pretty sure that Minho is on shift right now, at least unless he's moved his schedule around in the last month that they've barely talked.</p><p>He doesn't spot the older man immediately, and he wonders if he should have maybe gone to see Minho at home instead—better yet, he should have probably talked to Minho the other day, when the two of them had overlapping shifts at Studio J.</p><p>He's waffling near the entrance, wondering why he's so nervous, when he finally spots Minho walking out from what is presumably the back door to the kitchen. He's laughing, eyes twinkling brightly, which makes Jisung smile automatically. Right after him, a girl with distinctly feline features follow. Her name is Jung Eunwoo, and Jisung has met her several times before because he's one of Minho's work friends that he gets along with the best, and she's shown up at a few of their gigs before, as per Minho's invitation. Occasionally, she would even help man their merchandise table and sell the cheap shirts and stickers that Jisung and Jeongin had designed themselves.</p><p>Jisung likes her because she's cute, friendly, funny and the two of them get along well. This is the first time that Jisung is seeing her and Minho on their own though, and he thinks they look good together—like they match really well. It makes him wonder if something more than friendship is going on, or at least brewing; before he could let his imagination get the better of him, though, Eunwoo herself spots him through the windows. Her smile widens and she happily waves at him; her attention catches Minho's, who looks up and locks eyes with him.</p><p>Jisung feels a funny jolt pass through his system, but he smiles and returns Eunwoo's waving anyway. Not ten minutes later, Minho is serving him a tall iced Americano (spelled A<em> meow </em>ricano on the menu, because according to Minho the owner is punny like that) together with a slice of cheesecake—their joint favorite combination—and announcing loudly, presumably for Eunwoo's benefit, that he's taking his break, before he sits down across from Jisung at a small table tucked away in a corner of the store.</p><p>“So what are you doing here?” Minho chides good-naturedly. “You done being mad at me?”</p><p>Jisung scoffs, because he knows Minho knows that's exactly what it is—but he doesn't want to say it like that out loud now that Minho has called him out.</p><p>“I'm here for my birthday gift,” he retorts brattily.</p><p>“Your birthday was almost a week ago,” Minho points out. “And you called out of your Studio J shift that day, so Jeongin and I ate the cake we got you ourselves.”</p><p>“Oh.” His ears heat up and he looks down, unsure if he feels sad, frustrated, or embarrassed.</p><p>Minho laughs and gestures at the slice of cake that admittedly looks bigger than the average slice. “Why do you think you're eating that for free though?”</p><p>Jisung grins. “It's free?”</p><p>“Tch.” Minho scoffs and takes something out from the pocket of his barista—a piece of paper that he slides across the table over to Jisung who immediately picks it up. </p><p>It turns out to be a punch card for The Purrfect Cup – six free drinks of his choice, each one to be served with whatever pastry is featured for the day. He looks at Minho questioningly.</p><p>“That was going to be your birthday gift, but you kept ignoring me still, so—” the older shrugs.</p><p>“You got me free drinks where you work,” Jisung observes out loud. “Either you were being a cheap motherfucker, or you just want me to drop by more often.”</p><p>He grins cheekily – he doesn't remember anymore why he had been so nervous about facing Minho again in a casual setting. They settled back into their natural rapport so easily, and really, Jisung should have never doubted that. Minho has always been special in the way he fit so seamlessly in Jisung's life—in the way Jisung had felt so comfortable and at ease with him from day one.</p><p>“You already know the answer,” Minho answers, tapping fingers purposefully against the surface of the table. “I am totally a cheap motherfucker.”</p><p>Jisung laughs, because he knows that Minho absolutely means the opposite. </p><p>
  <em> Meow. </em>
</p><p>A fat, tawny blonde cat distractingly mewls as he rubs against Jisung's ankles, causing him to squeak, and twitch in his seat out of surprise. </p><p>Minho snorts. “Hodu's bored,” he says, leaning to the side so he can observe the cat who has chosen to plant itself near Jisung's feet. It's not long before Minho is leaning down and picking the cat up so he can cradle it in his arms.</p><p>Jisung hums, and has a small bite of cake as he watches Minho with the cat. </p><p>“I miss Soonie and Doongie,” he suddenly blurts out, referring to the two orange tabbies under the care of Minho's family.</p><p>“Oh?” Minho looks up at him, eyes twinkling. “I don't think they miss you, actually.”</p><p>Jisung wrinkles his nose and curves his lips into a downward pout; he doesn't consciously try this often with Minho, but he knows this almost always let's him have his way when he does.</p><p>Minho scoffs and shakes his head. “I'm joking,” he immediately assures Jisung, laughing as he reaches over the table so he can lightly flick Jisung's forehead. He pauses, sighs and lets Hodu the cat go before settling back against his seat. “Can't really speak for Soonie and Doongie so you should visit and see for yourself how they feel,” he says; and then softly, he adds, “I missed you, 'Sung.”</p><p>Happiness blooms from Jisung's chest, and soon enough he feels warm all over. Minho is affectionate in little ways—in the way he puts his arm around Jisung when they hang out, and the way he always lets Jisung pick what to eat when they go on convenience store runs. He's affectionate in the way he ruffles Jisung's hair when Jisung does something that he deems cute, and in the way he remembers to always let Jisung have the first spoonful whenever they share a pint of ice cream. He's very seldom affectionate with words, though, so when he is, it always hits differently.</p><p>Jisung's smile only grows wider as he stuffs his cheeks with more cake; he wants to return the words, but he also wants to savor them for a bit more.</p><p>“I'm sorry,” Minho exhales, before Jisung can fully swallow the content inside his mouth. “I handled things poorly—I should've had a proper talk with you before making any sort of decision.”</p><p>Jisung blinks; he takes his time before swallowing, and even then he isn't sure how to react. He and Minho have never been the type to apologise to each other – then again, they aren't the type to have serious spats either. </p><p>“I'm sorry too,” he eventually returns. “I was being pretty stubborn too. You knew something was wrong, and I knew something was wrong—but I didn't want anything to be wrong.” Even his explanation sounds wrong to his own ears—for a lyricist who is usually good with words and imagery, Jisung is not exactly the best at directly explaining his thoughts and feelings. Minho is nodding though, and it eases him to know that the older male genuinely gets what he's trying to say.</p><p>“Do you want to talk about it now?”</p><p>Jisung's instinctive answer is <em> no, </em>not really; but because it's Minho he feels compelled to let his walls down, especially since not doing that is what had led to them being estranged for over a month. “People make me nervous, hyung,” he mutters. “They always have, I told you this before so—you know that.”</p><p>“I do,” Minho agrees.</p><p>“And it's no secret that I love performing,” Jisung continues with a shallow exhale, “but sometimes it's really hard when people get all up my face and act like they know me just because they've seen me perform on stage once or twice.”</p><p>“And that's been happening more and more?</p><p>“Yeah—and it's stupid because we're really just a little, no name band, and maybe one in fifty people—no, not even? Like maybe one in a hundred, or even more—will recognize me, and that's only when I walk around in certain areas. Still, makes me feel like I should be more thankful than I am because it means I—<em> we </em> were memorable on stage. Instead I get paranoid, which in turn makes me feel full of myself but—” Jisung groans in frustration. ”But I just can't control it sometimes.”</p><p>“That sounds like… <em> something,” </em>Minho exhales.</p><p>“Yeah.” Jisung wrinkles  nose. “Something that I clearly need to figure out—because it all comes with the territory of what happens if I'm successful with what I want to do.”</p><p>Minho is silent for a few seconds, and then he shakes his head lightly. “But it's something we <em> all </em> want to do 'Sung. Besides— <em> you're </em> the most important piece of the band. We can't afford to lose you—so you don't get to deal with this on your own. You're kinda stuck with us.”</p><p>Jisung nods mutely.</p><p>“Did it at least help?” Minho purses his lips. “Taking a bit of a break?”</p><p>Jisung blinks because he hadn't thought about it in that context, and then, as a wave of realisation passes through him, he nods. Now that he thinks about it, these last couple of weeks, he hadn't really been paranoid about being spotted or recognised. Granted, he <em> had </em> been avoiding areas where young adults who follow the underground music scene might hang out, but still—he'd been able to breathe and take some time for himself, which he supposes is what Minho had been aiming for. </p><p>“A little,” he admits. </p><p>“Good.” Minho smiles faintly. “ Do you need more time?”</p><p>This time he's quick to shake his head—he always meant to bring up resuming band activities. “I miss it. Being on stage, playing with everyone.” </p><p>Minho's smile grows. “You sure? Because we all do, too.”</p><p>“Definitely,” Jisung affirms. “And if I start feeling way too jittery again, I promise I'll let you guys know. I wrote a couple of songs over the break and I've really wanted to let you guys hear them.”</p><p>Minho nods; there's a twinkle of excitement in her eyes which makes Jisung happy. “Hey 'Sung?” He adopts a  solemn  once more, his smile faltering and making room for a softly more melancholic expression. “Maybe you can talk to someone? The school counselor, maybe?”</p><p>Jisung winces. “I tried that,” he murmurs; he had dropped by the counselor's office early on in the term, but it didn't really help him. “She just wanted to talk about why I didn't want to take the CSAT.”</p><p>Minho sneers. “She sucks,” he says bluntly.</p><p>Jisung laughs. “It is what it is. I'll figure it out.” Minho lifts an eyebrow,  and Jisung laughs some more.  “I meant we—<em> we'll </em> figure it out.”</p><p>“Yeah. Good.” Minho grins. “Especially since Club Orange keeps calling, asking if we want to play some upcoming dates—they sound desperate, to be honest, but hey, we'll all take it.”</p><p>“Wait—what—seriously?! They're calling?!”</p><p>Usually, they were the ones who approached venues, auditioning here and there for spots in line-up nights just so they could play. Occasionally they'd get a call first, mostly to fill in for last minute pull outs; to be fair, right before they'd gone on hiatus, they had enough of a following that some club managers had started seeking them out first, but Jisung is still used to feeling like the effort mostly came from <em> them.  </em></p><p>“And Bang Chan-hyung,” Minho continues. “He apparently knows the A&amp;R guy from this small agency—and  they're interested in scouting bands like us, so hyung is asking us for gig dates so he can take his friend with him.” Minho laughs. “That hyung knows so many people.”</p><p>Minho is being all devil-may-care about this, but Jisung is practically buzzing in his seat. “Seriously?!”</p><p>Minho laughs. “Seriously.”</p><p>Jisung wants to cry out in excitement, but whatever celebratory reaction he has is preempted by Eunwoo calling it for Minho.</p><p>“Lee Minho!” She appears, all of a sudden, next to their table, hand on Minho's shoulder. “Your break is almost over, dude—hi, Jisung,” she greets him, too, and even though Jisung feels a bit miffed at her interruption but he smiles back at her anyway. “I'll give you five, and then it's my turn for a break,” she says, turning back to Minho, who grins and nods.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” he waves at her dismissively, which has her rolling her eyes and lightly punching his arm. </p><p>Jisung could only watch in silence, sipping his coffee as the two of them go on with their comfortable back and forth; a small part of him wonders if this maybe constitutes flirting.</p><p>“Five!” She warns Minho one last time, holding up five fingers, before turning around and going back towards the direction of the counter.</p><p>“You should go and get back to work before she tells the manager on you,” Jisung teases once she's out of earshot.</p><p>“Nunu would never,” Minho says confidently, even using her nickname, showing how close they are. He swiftly picks up Jisung's fork and helps himself to a small bite of cheesecake. “But it's just right that I let her have her break.” He pushes his chair out, but before he can stand up, he looks at Jisung, and asks softly, sounding uncharacteristically shy, “You want to come over and spend the night? I get off work in an hour and a half, and you get to ask the cats if they missed you too.”</p><p>Jisung grins widely, nodding way more enthusiastically than he means to.</p><p>“Okay, great—tomorrow, we can go and meet with Innie and Changbin and, well—get back on track.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Jisung agrees, and Minho looks as satisfied as Jisung himself feels. “Hey, hyung—” he takes in a deep breath, “I really missed you.” Minho nods, and Jisung feels word vomit about to come up. His heart is beating rapidly—and so loudly that he can almost feel his ears ringing. “The band aside, you're very important to me—you're my best friend. Just so you know.” </p><p>Unloading like that is strangely relaxing though, and as his heart slows back down to a normal pace, he flashes a shy smile at Minho. He expects the older to smile back immediately, but for a brief moment his expression turns blank—unreadable, which almost makes Jisung panic. And then very quickly, like he'd just been caught off-guard and he's now found footing, his mouth curves into a smile and he reaches over to ruffle Jisung's hair fondly.</p><p>“You're my best friend too, dumbass,” Minho returns the words. “And the most—” his breath hitches, “—one of the most important people in my life.”</p><p>Jisung automatically grins, but for some reason, he doesn't feel the joy he expects to feel. Instead, something heavy sinks in his stomach, and his smile threatens to break down. Luckily, he's able to control it until Minho stands and walks off to finish the rest of his shift.</p><p>Minho had been sincere, Jisung could tell. He'd been incredibly sincere, and sweet, and absolutely straightforward in a way that Minho isn't usually, and Jisung should be happy—he has no reason not to be, and <em> yet. </em></p><p>
  <em> And yet. </em>
</p><p>He can't explain what he's feeling.</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p>~~</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p> </p><p><em> It's now or never, I'm running out of time </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em> The seconds are relentless, I'm helpless as they keep flying by </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em> Stuck here in the desert, I feel like I'm in an hourglass </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em> Maybe I can stay and be comfortable living in the past </em> <em><br/>
</em> <em> But I don't wanna be alone so can you take me to you now </em></p><p> </p><p>The cheers of the crowd are deafening as Jisung sings into the microphone, pouring so many feelings into the words he had penned during the band's hiatus.</p><p>That had been a pretty low point in his life, and the lyrics clearly express that brand of emotional turmoil; this is heard in his tone as well, and yet the reality of it is that he's feeling better than he has in a while.</p><p>Okay, technically saying that the cheers are deafening is an exaggeration. The live club is small after all, housing barely 500 patrons at full standing capacity, and neither AVSG nor Generated Funk, the band they're co-headlining with, are able to sell out that much individually, but that's just it.</p><p>They're <em> co-headliners. </em></p><p>It's been a couple of months since they started booking gigs again; the weather is getting colder and his classmates are done with the CSATs, so school in general has been a bit less hectic. He still gets anxious in crowded places, and when he hangs out in certain areas of the city, he (and the other members) still get recognized sometimes, but it doesn't feel as deathly suffocating as it did before.</p><p>They follow 'Slump' with something a little brighter, harder, 'Classroom Warfare,' which they've been publicly performing long enough that their regular audience knows it well enough to sing along, especially when the catchy chorus kicks in.</p><p>That's the last song of their set, and after they finish, Jisung happily introduces the next band; it makes him even happier and prouder that there's no noticeable disparity in the audience's cheers despite Generated Funk having slightly more experience under their belt.</p><p>He—the entire band, really—is feeling  more amped up than usual. Earlier that evening, Chan had called them to tell them that he was bringing his A&amp;R friend from an up and coming agency.</p><p>Jisung is pretty sure they rocked the stage—the last hour had felt like their best performance to date, and he feels ecstatic. It's insane, really, how he continues to buzz with adrenaline even after they exit the stage.</p><p>“Yo, we're all eating at that BBQ place down the street,” Changbin tells him after they finish packing up.</p><p>“Okay, I'm just going to take a leak and wash my face,” Jisung answers; he thinks maybe washing up will help him calm down a little. “Tell Minho-hyung you guys can go ahead and get a table.”</p><p>“Okay—he's still talking with Channie-hyung and Jang Wooyoung-nim anyway.”</p><p>Jisung nods, flashes two thumbs up at Changbin, and proceeds to amble down the hall towards the comfort room, guitar bag slung over his shoulder.</p><p>When he's done, he heads out; he salutes the club's manager as he passes him, and then he makes his way out through the back exit. He hadn't taken long, and he'd been hoping that maybe he would catch them before they left, but Changbin's SUV is nowhere in sight.</p><p>Instead, he finds Hyunjin standing off to the side of the building, lit cigarette in hand. </p><p>“Han Jisung!” he greets, using his full name like he's gotten used to doing.</p><p>“Hwang Hyunjin,” Jisung returns with a casual wave, and a nod. “Did you see the other guys leave?”</p><p>Hyunjin nods his head, but instead of going into detail, he offers his cigarette to Jisung after taking a quick drag off it; smoking is a common habit they've discovered together in the months they'd spent building an actual friendship.</p><p>Jisung accepts, and takes a long drag, appreciating the way the nicotine helps calm him a lot more than simply sprinkling water on his face did — it's not enough, though, because Hyunjin had always preferred menthol flavored slims, the ones typically marketed to women, while Jisung usually likes his smokes with a stronger nicotine hit.</p><p>“Yeah, Binnie-hyung left a few minutes ago—” Hyunjin grins. “He said something about that Wooyoung guy being very impressed and stuff about possibly being signed—?” He laughs. “He was too excited it barely made sense but hey,” he playfully punches Jisung on the shoulder, “congratulations, bro!”</p><p>“Fuck—no shit?!” Jisung almost chokes on smoke; the news has his heart speeding, and his adrenaline spiking again just like that. “Fuck! He really said we might get signed!”</p><p>“Uh, yeah?” Hyunjin laughs, and it's strangely music to Jisung's ears. </p><p>He's all warm and happy and excited all over, to the point that he feels tingly. Excess energy is bubbling up to the surface—it's the type of thing that he usually exhausts by playing music, especially on stage, but clearly the set from earlier was not enough, and he finds himself angling for a way to release all of that at once.</p><p>“Fuck,” he curses again, laughing as he turns to look up at Hyunjin. “I'm so happy I could kiss you right now,” he blurts out; he wishes he could say he doesn't know where that came from, but Hyunjin is a beautiful boy, and Jisung is not only a boy at the peak of his hormonal adolescent years, but he's a boy with <em> eyes. </em> “I want to kiss you right now,” he repeats, punctuating the statement with laughter as he readies himself to brush it off as a joke.</p><p>“I won't stop you.”</p><p>Hyunjin's response is what catches him off-guard, and he spends a good second gawking at the taller male. And then the right corner of Hyunjin's mouth curls into a smirk, and the way he looks at Jisung is almost expectant—<em> challenging, </em>even, and Jisung feels provoked.</p><p>He narrows his eyes, and he doesn't waste any more time before mirroring Hyunjin's expression; he steps closer, right into Hyunjin's personal space and he pulls him down by the collar,  down towards him until their lips crash together.</p><p>This is Jisung's first kiss yet, truthfully, not how he imagined his first kiss would be. It tastes like smoke and nicotine with a faint hint of menthol; frankly it's not with who he had imagined his first kiss would be with either.</p><p>It's not bad though. Hyunjin kisses just fine—a little tentative, but he's as willing to explore as Jisung is, and soon their tongues are tangled together, and Jisung feels like he's about to run out of air. To be frank, he's finding that it's a pretty good way to dispel unneeded stress and unspent energy.</p><p>And then he thinks he hears a familiar voice calling out to him.</p><p>“Jisungie!” </p><p>The club's backdoor loudly creaks open, and <em> that </em> breaks the spell. Hyunjin and Jisung jump apart, but it's too late. He doesn't even get to admire the way that Hyunjin's normally plush lips are even more pink and swollen from all that kissing, because Minho is standing there, looking at them with an unreadable expression.</p><p>“Ah, Minho-hyung!” Hyunjin is the first to greet him, his voice cracking and his face red as apples.</p><p>“Hey,” Minho returns; he sounds almost robotic, soulless—but then he breaks into a smile and Jisung wonders if maybe that was just his imagination. “'Sung, they're waiting for us at the restaurant—I invited Bang Chan-hyung, and Jang Wooyoung-nim too—you wanna walk with us?” He turns to Hyunjin, and his smile curls up higher. “You're welcome to eat with us too, Hyunjinnie.”</p><p>“Ah yeah—okay, hyung!” Hyunjin agrees, and when Minho turns to head back into the club—presumably to exit through the front—Hyunjin practically trips over himself scrambling after Minho.</p><p>Jisung just feels weirdly funny.</p><p><br/>
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</p><p> </p><p class="interview"><b> <em>Where do you get inspiration for your music from?</em> </b><br/>
<b> <em>HJS: </em> </b> <em> A variety of things! (grins) I watch a lot of movies, and sometimes I put myself in the shoes of certain characters and I try to express their feelings through music. (hums; smiles) But I'd be lying if I said that I don't mostly take from my own experience.</em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>
  <span class="small"><a href="https://www.google.com/amp/s/genius.com/amp/Stray-kids-slump-english-version-lyrics">SLUMP LYRICS ARE FROM GENIUS.</a> I used the English version lyrics, but it's safe to assume that the band performs it in Korean (with a slightly different arrangement).</span>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. ALWAYS COMING BACK</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p class="lyrics">Some nights we fight, we scream<br/>We don't know what to do <br/>But I guess it's just the simple things <br/>That people, they go through</p><p class="lyrics">— <b>ONE OK ROCK,</b> <em>Always Coming Back</em></p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p class="interview"><b> <em>Did you have tough times? How did you get through them?</em> </b><br/><b> <em>LMH: </em> </b> <em> (pauses; snorts) Don't you think the answer to that is pretty obvious? </em></p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>Minho wasn't really the type to daydream a lot as a child—mostly because he was the type to make things happen for himself. He's a practical person who doesn't really covet things that are out of his reach.</p><p>Ever since becoming the drummer of a band though—ever since he had set his sights on a future career in music, he has found himself with his head occasionally stuck in the clouds, imagining a future that involved sold out arena concerts, with hundreds of thousands of people singing along to words penned by Jisung, and jumping along to beats dictated by his drum play.</p><p>Technically these dreams are possible, but they're all so far away from his reach.</p><p>“Earth to Lee Minho!” Changbin's gruff voice pulls him out of one these daydreams, and he shakes his head as he pretends not to have been out of it completely.</p><p>“Mars to Seo Changbin,” he returns, picking up a half filled bottle of water at the foot of his drum stool, and emptying its contents.</p><p>They were in their practice studio, halfway through a practice session without Jisung. </p><p>Ten months ago Jisung finally graduated high school—Minho and Changbin had attended the ceremony, handing him flowers just as he and Jeongin had done on Minho and Changbin's own commencement; shortly after that, they had signed trainee contracts with Orgel Records.</p><p>They had been apprehensive when the company first approached them; they were eager to take their musical activities to a higher level, but the proposal was that they were to enter the company as trainees first to allow for further training that not only involved giving them formal instruction their instruments, but also included lessons that would shape them into more well-rounded entertainment figures. The idea was intriguing, but not very tempting—at least initially. Minho liked the idea of having an official drum instructor, but he didn't really care for being molded into a ‘well-rounded variety personality’; except then, they were promised full control of their musical endeavors and despite the band's growing local fanbase, they weren't exactly getting any other professional offers. Eventually, by the time Jisung was done with school, they found themselves pushed into a corner, the merits of signing with Orgel suddenly highlighted by their collective desire to take the band to the next level.</p><p>“Minho,” Changbin calls to him once more, a hint of exasperation audible in his tone. “Felix was asking you something.”</p><p>“Huh—? Oh?” He turns towards the boy in question, the newest addition to their band. Felix is a guitarist that the agency had signed separate from them; apparently he used to have an active YouTube channel that had a modest, but notable following count. He was a second-generation immigrant, born and raised in Australia, and doing K-Pop guitar covers was a part of his attempts to connect with Korean culture.</p><p>He's a sweet boy, earnest not just with self-improvement but in his desire to fit in with the band—both musically and in their personal dynamics. He gets along with Jisung the best, because Jisung has the best conversational English thanks to years spent living abroad, and also because they're the same age, born exactly a day apart. He spends a lot of time with Jeongin as well, because the youngest is the only one who always caves and plays video games with Felix who is obsessed with them despite clear lack of gaming skills on his part. Changbin is a little awkward with him because, as he once confessed to Minho, he never knows how to read the boy, and Minho understands why that is. Personally, Minho finds that it's hard not to be fond of Felix, but it isn't as easy to get close with him, especially since the boy still trips over his Korean oftentimes. </p><p>“I'm going to go get snacks—is there anything you want?” Felix asks, presumably for the second time. He smiles anyway, unbothered.</p><p>“Ah, yeah—” Minho smiles gratefully. “An energy drink, please—and I'll just share whatever Binnie's having.”</p><p>“Oi!” Changbin interjects, and Felix laughs.</p><p>“I'll get snacks to share for everyone,” Felix assures them.</p><p>Changbin whinges. “Just because 'Sung isn't here, so he can't share with that brat.”</p><p>Minho tuts, and Jeongin outright snorts. “If Jisung-hyung was here, he'd be the one saying he'll just share with Minho-hyung,” the youngest declares as he stretches his arms and gets up on his feet. “I need some air so I'll go with Lix-hyung.”</p><p>“What time is Jisung getting here anyway?” Changbin asks as Minho gets up from behind his drum set so he can stretch his arms and legs.</p><p>“Well, what time is it now?”</p><p>“Half-past five.”</p><p>“Oh, his session was meant to end 'round five, so he should be here by six or so.”</p><p>One of the things that the agency, small as it is, had agreed to do is shoulder the cost of a therapist for Jisung. It wasn't easy working that into contract terms, but eventually, it showed how much of an asset they value Jisung, and now he sees a Doctor Choi regularly to help with his anxiety, every two weeks or so.</p><p>“He's not gonna go see Hyunjin first?”</p><p>Minho gives Changbin a strange look, and then he sighs. “We have rehearsal tonight, of course he isn't.” Minho pauses, pursing his lips before he asks, “Why, did Hyunjin say something?”</p><p>Hyunjin managed to get into the liberal arts faculty at the university that Changbin attends, which somehow allowed the two of them to get closer. Minho knew that his friend had started out long ago with a small crush on the younger male, but it's been months since Hyunjin and Jisung started whatever the thing is that's going on between them, and the one time Minho tried sussing out how Changbin felt about <em> that </em> situation, Changbin had faked ignorance. Minho never really brought it up after that because he has never really been the type of friend to pry, but times like this always has him wondering about Changbin's current feelings.</p><p>“No, not really,” Changbin answers. “He doesn't really mention Jisung much when we meet up.”</p><p>Minho shrugs, unsure how to interpret that. Jisung doesn't really talk about Hyunjin much either, but then Minho never really asks. Minho doesn't really want to ask.</p><p>“Did you see the name suggestions the agency drafted for us?” He changes the topic instead; someone from upper management had suggested a name change for them—something that would vibe well with a wider audience, and would sound catchier to the public.</p><p>Minho, personally, thought they already had a pretty good name for themselves, but management thought <em> A Very Special Guest </em> didn't roll off the tongue so easy and preferred that they call themselves something like BEATX or 5BYSS or any among a dozen more names, which were mostly abbreviations in English that didn't make much sense.</p><p>Changbin snorts. “Yeah—feeling like next thing they're going to do is give us stage names or something.”</p><p>Minho laughs. “Maybe we should start coming up with ideas on our own so at least we don't get assigned shitty ones.”</p><p>“I think I have one for myself,” Changbin murmurs.</p><p>“Yeah,” Minho nods, pretty sure he knows what his friend's stage name of choice would be, if Changbin's Kakao ID is anything to go by. “SpearB—who sounds like he fits right in BEATX.”</p><p>“Yah!” Changbin clicks his tongue before he bursts into laughter. “You're right, maybe I should cast a vote for that one.”</p><p>“I don't know—being called The <em> Peace </em>Blossoms is mighty tempting!”</p><p>The two of them continue laughing together, and that's when the rehearsal room's door opens and their three bandmates pile into the room, one after another.</p><p>“We ran into Jisung-hyung on the way back!” Jeongin announces, their frontman and vocalist all but draped around him, with both arms wrapped around the youngest's shoulders.</p><p>Minho looks up, and his eyes naturally lock with Jisung who beams at him. A familiar tug pulls at his heart, and Minho naturally smiles back.</p><p>Their arrangement with their agency now, it's truly far from perfect, but he thinks he at least still has everything he needs to keep moving forward in order to reach not just his own aspirations, but everyone's collective dreams.</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>Minho is bored.</p><p>It's almost midnight and everyone's home—one of the things that their company had done after taking them on as trainees was put them all together in the same dorm, at an apartment building that is only a five minute walk away from the agency's small office building.</p><p>Changbin, his roommate, is hunched over the small desk they had managed to fit in the corner of their room, headphones covering his ears as he seemingly focused on reading something for school.</p><p>He can hear Felix and Jeongin in the living room where they'd connected their Switch consoles to the television; last he checked the two of them had been obsessed with the most recent iteration of NBA Live. That would mean Jisung is alone in the room that he shares with the two of them, probably lost in strange corners of YouTube only Jisung is really able to find.</p><p>“I'm hungry,” he announces as he rolls off his bunk bed; Changbin barely flinches in response—he probably doesn't even hear Minho through his study music blasting directly into his ears. </p><p>Minho walks out into the living room where, just as he assumed, the two youngest members of the band are enjoying themselves playing a game. He ignores them, but he doesn't head to the kitchen to take care of his supposed hunger either; he walks straight up to the other bedroom, only knocking twice before pushing the door open.</p><p>The main light is out, with only a dim bedside lamp, coupled with the brightness of his own phone screen, illuminating Jisung's features as he looks up to meet Minho's gaze. Without a word, he shifts to the side, moving closer to the wall, where his twin bed is pushed against.</p><p>Minho doesn't say anything either; he closes the door after him, and silently walks over so he can slide in next to the younger male. </p><p>They lay in silence; Jisung takes one of his air pods out and offers it to Minho, a silent offer for Minho to move even closer so they can both watch the reptile video that’s playing on Jisung’s screen. With his cheek pressed against the curve of Jisung’s shoulder, he easily catches a whiff of the spearmint flavored gum that the younger has taken to chewing a lot ever since he decided to quit smoking a couple of months ago.</p><p>Minho’s eyes are getting droopy from watching a chameleon very slowly chew on food when a message notification flashes on Jisung’s phone screen and he’s on alert again. He’s easily able to read that the message is from Hyunjin, even as Jisung quickly swipes it away to dismiss it.</p><p>Minho leans away. “You can reply to him,” he says, tone as nonchalant as possible. “I promise I won't look.”</p><p>Jisung snorts. “I don't care if you look, hyung,” he replies. “But it's nothing—I can respond to Hyunjin tomorrow.”</p><p>“Nothing?” Minho sounds more surprised and more curious than he means to. “Everything well with the two of you?”</p><p>There's a moment of silence, Jisung too focused as he draws up his YouTube dashboard; maybe if Minho was more awake he'd let it go, but in his tired state he's unable to keep from gently elbowing the younger.</p><p>Jisung hums. “Yeah, things are fine I guess?” he answers finally, but there's uncertainty in his tone.</p><p>“You guess?”</p><p>Jisung cringes. “I mean things are fine because we're fine—at least we're friends, yeah? But—” Jisung groans. “The parts that go beyond—um… friendship?” He glances sideways at Minho, looking nervous but also like he wants Minho to acknowledge that he knows what Jisung means; Minho keeps his expression passive though, and with a frustrated sigh, Jisung continues. “To sum it up, whatever heat there was, is fizzling out—and I'm pretty sure we're both fine with that.”</p><p>“So what's the problem, then?”</p><p>Jisung laughs, mildly exasperated. “Exactly! There's no problem—except—I guess we never really talked about what we were—<em> are?” </em></p><p>“What <em> are </em> the two of you?” Minho mumbles, unable to keep himself from interrupting. Jisung and Hyunjin's thing—whatever it was or is—has been something of an open secret between the group. No one really asks Jisung about it, and while Jisung would occasionally mention Hyunjin to Minho, he's never really been clear about the nature of their relationship.</p><p>Many times after signing with Orgel, Minho has been tempted to pointed out that Jisung should probably cool things off with Hyunjin—but he never said anything because one, his own motives were fuzzy to him, and two, it would be highly hypocritical of him since Jisung's not exactly the only one in the band who has allowed their hormones to get the better of them every now and then.</p><p>“That's what I'm saying hyung, even we don't know!” Jisung snorts. “Friends who give each other handies when they're bored and horny isn't exactly a very definitive label. And now I'm pretty sure neither of us want to be doing that anymore—but neither of us know how to say it.”</p><p>Minho laughs. “‘Hey Hwang Hyunjin, find someone else to get you off from now on, thanks’,” he suggests, quite jokingly despite his very deadpan tone.</p><p>Jisung groans, but he's obviously trying to reign in his own laughter. “Sure, okay, I'll try that then,” he plays along.</p><p>Minho shrugs, grins and gestures for Jisung to pick a next video to watch already, but it seems that it's one of those nights when Jisung's in the mood for more conversation.</p><p>“How about you, hyung?” Jisung asks, locking his phone and tucking it away by his side. “Are you still seeing Eunwoo-noona?”</p><p>Minho freezes – they talk about Eunwoo even less than they do about Hyunjin, but he supposes the arrangement between them is as much of an open secret within the band.</p><p>“I saw her last about a month ago,” Minho answers quietly. </p><p>“But you still talk regularly?”</p><p>Minho laughs. “Yeah, because she still sends me pictures of her cat, as well as the ones in the cafe, but—” his breath hitches; he feels a need to explain his relationship with Eunwoo even though he knows he doesn’t really owe anyone, much less Jisung, that. “Me and Nunu, it’s nothing to write home about.”</p><p>“Just a couple of bros who give each other handies when they’re bored and hormonal?” Jisung teases, causing Minho to dig his elbow into his side once again.</p><p>“Yeah, I guess—more or less. Except she isn’t a bro,” Minho accedes; and they give each other more than handjobs, but he isn’t about to admit that out loud. Jisung can assume that on his own.</p><p>“She’s very pretty,” Jisung points out; there’s something distant in his tone and Minho doesn’t want to assume anything about what that means. “And the two of you have always gotten along really well. She’s funny, and she supports the band when she can. Remember that time when she got all her friends to buy an AVSG shirt each?”</p><p>Minho hums. “True, she’s all those things, and more,” he agrees. “But that doesn’t matter. It’s still not like that between us. This isn’t really the time for me—for any of us to get into anything too deep.” That isn’t the only reason why he and Eunwoo aren’t romantic, but again, he isn’t willing to spell that out loud. “If—<em> when </em> we debut, it’d be best if we don’t have outside attachments. They’ll probably put that in our final contracts or some shit.”</p><p>“You’re right,” Jisung agrees after a moment’s pause. “You’re right,” he repeats with a soft exhale. “Maybe I can open with that when I talk to Hyunjin about, uh—us.”</p><p>“Maybe.” Minho nods. “Out of all of us you’re the one who needs to be extra careful, especially with management already pushing you into the spotlight before we’ve even released our first album—or even a debut single.”</p><p>He’s talking about the way the PR department has insisted on releasing a trainee profile for Jisung. They’re trying extra hard to get his name out there, mostly by getting him to release cover songs on YouTube by himself, but it’s now gotten to the point that they even have a small interview lined up, just for him, as well as talks for Jisung to participate in singing a song for an upcoming cable TV drama.</p><p>He feels the mattress shift under him as Jisung turns and curls into his side. “Hyung,” he begins, and even in the dark, even without Minho turning to look at him, he can hear the frown in Jisung’s voice. “They’re pushing all of us,” he points out. “Like—Felix and Innie got to have that photoshoot with Seungmin,” he points out; Seungmin is another trainee under the company, one that they have slated for a solo singing career. Minho doesn’t know him very well, but he’s closer to the younger members of the band, especially Felix, who had been a trainee with him before Orgel had taken on the rest of AVSG. “And don’t they want you to take acting classes, hyung?” </p><p>Minho wants to point out that all they really signed up for was a way to get their music out there—a way to reach a wider audience. He doesn’t care about learning how to act, but he supposes he couldn’t judge if the other members want to be public figures who are capable of doing a variety of things. Orgel has always been transparent about halfway marketing them as an idol band, at least at the beginning of their career, and they had all agreed to this kind of image making as long as they were given freedom with their music.</p><p>“Are you excited for that OST project they got you?” He asks instead to avoid delving too much into his own thoughts; he turns to face Jisung, his jaw setting as he realises how close their faces are. He’s lucky that he has his back against the light so Jisung wouldn't be able to easily make out his expression; in contrast, the dim orange lighting of the lamp perfectly illuminates Jisung’s features as his mouth splits into a wide grin.</p><p>“Yeah!” Jisung nods happily. “I mean—I wish we could all be recording together, but being able to write and sing a song that people will hear nationwide—well, everyone who’s got tvN anyway,” he clarifies, “but that’s still a start! Management is so excited—and it's just really nice to get all that sweet validation for my—<em> our </em> songs.”</p><p>“I’m excited for you, ‘Sung,” Minho agrees; despite his mounting reservations about the situation they’ve been put in with their agency, his own smile curves naturally thanks to the contagious nature of Jisung’s energy. “Just like you said, it’s a start.”</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>“Did you see Jisung's new video?” is the first thing out of Changbin's mouth when he comes home one evening.</p><p>Felix is out, having language tutorials, while Jisung and Jeongin are both at the company, presumably at their practice room busying themselves with informal practice. Minho means to follow them there soon; he’d just gotten back home from an evening jog and was resting after a quick shower when Changbin got home.</p><p>“Oh, has management uploaded the new one?” He asks, looking up and watching Changbin drop his bag at the foot of his bed. He knows that Jisung recorded a new cover just last week—a rearranged version of the country’s current reigning girl group’s newest hit—so he knew it was coming, but much like with most of Jisung’s solo projects that are rapidly growing in number, Minho has chosen not to ask the vocalist too much for detail. Jisung is never shy about asking the band for their opinion whenever he actually wants their input, so if he wants some things to be solely under his creative jurisdiction, Minho figures that’s both his right and privilege. (And if he secretly thinks that Jisung is taking on more and more of these solo ventures—he tries to assure himself that it isn’t a problem; it’s really Jisung working hard for all of their sakes.)</p><p>Changbin nods. “Saw it because Hyunjin got a notification for the upload when we were in the library earlier,” he explains. “Is he doing one video a week now?” He lets out a chuckle, but Minho can tell that it’s strained.</p><p>“He’s enjoying himself,” Minho answers with a shrug. “You were with Hyunjin?”</p><p>Changbin shifts and runs his fingers through his hair. “Yeah, he's taking some math units this term so I'm helping him out.”</p><p>Minho nods slowly, not really wanting to get into the intricacies of whatever friendships his band mates are cultivating outside the confines of the group, no matter how obvious the potential for complications is. </p><p>He takes a deep breath instead, and is about to ask Changbin if he wants to walk together to their practice studio, but something about Changbin’s expression stops him. It's obvious that there's something he wants to talk about. “You okay, Bin?”</p><p>The other man sighs, and sits down at the edge of his bed.</p><p>“I just don’t understand why we can’t all do covers together—why’s it all just ‘Sung?” Changbin asks gruffly, frustration evident in his tone.</p><p>Minho shrugs. “He’s the frontman—he’s the face of the group, ‘Bin. Management thinks it’s better if the public gets better acquainted with him first. Supposedly that’s gonna ease them better into the idea of us as a whole.”</p><p>Jisung's drama soundtrack dropped a month ago and had a pretty modest showing on the OST chart – which was still quite a feat considering that Jisung is technically still an unknown trainee, and the drama it was featured on was nowhere close to being a hit. That's what had made management push Jisung into doing more song covers, so that he can continue to raise his public profile. It's gotten their old SoundCloud account a lot more hits, so Minho thinks the strategy is working somehow.</p><p>Changbin sighs. “You haven't seen the video yet, have you?”</p><p>Minho shrugs and shakes his head. “I forgot until you mentioned, honestly—I sat in for half the recording last week, anyway—”</p><p>Changbin shakes his head. “The newest upload isn't a cover, Minho,” he says, tone grim. “It's an original.”</p><p>“One of the band's?” Minho asks; weariness churns in his stomach – he hopes he's wrong.</p><p>“No, it's a new one—sounds new to me anyway, but maybe you've heard it.” At first Minho is relieved, but Changbin doesn't look like he feels the same, and after a few seconds of consideration Minho begins to understand why. “He seems to be really enjoying the fact that the company’s keeping <em> him </em> busy,” Changmin mutters, with a startling amount of bitterness that Minho would rather ignore.</p><p>“Okay, sec,” he mutters, taking his phone out and navigating to the YouTube app where he pulls up the official channel that management had set up for them. Sure enough, the newest video, already with almost a thousand views despite having been uploaded barely two hours ago, features Jisung inside a recording booth on the thumbnail; the title is ‘I SEE (ORIGINAL SONG).’</p><p>It doesn’t ring a bell, so Minho clicks on it; after a brief instrumental introduction, Jisung’s clear voice fills the room, and Minho cannot help the calming effect it has on him. The song is raw, simple yet filled with emotion, and he’s torn between pride for Jisung, and frustration at the fact that this release is something that Jisung didn’t even think of consulting with them.</p><p>“It’s a good song,” Changbin acknowledges quietly, and Minho simply nods in agreement. “Fuck that, though,” Changbin hisses, uncharacteristic vitriol in his voice. “The fuck are we doing here, Minho? It’s been a year since we signed trainee contracts, and even now there hasn’t been actual talk about us recording our debut album—we don’t even perform in public anymore, and it feels like we’re wasting away.”</p><p>At first the company had them doing regular busking sessions around the Hongdae area—it was partly to keep their existing fans interested in them despite the lack of club gigs, but also a way to allow Felix to get properly inducted into the band. Unfortunately, these days, they weren't even doing busking gigs anymore.</p><p>The song ends, and Minho looks up to meet Changbin’s gaze. He can’t refute anything that he’s said, and he feels extra bad because out of all them, he’s the one that’s been left completely hanging. Everyone else in the band has been offered some kind of self-enriching activity—Jeongin had opted in on the acting lessons that Minho turned down, while Minho busies himself twice a week with a drum instructor that management found for him. Felix is always busy with guitar and language lessons, and Jisung, as established, is the busiest among them all.</p><p>Changbin, meanwhile, has not been offered any such similar opportunities; initially he’d been quick to say that it’s fine—he wasn’t about to quit university after all. But Minho also knows that Changbin hasn’t been taking on a full load of classes for the last two terms because he wanted to put aside time for the band and their (supposedly) pending debut—Minho can’t blame him if he’s getting frustrated over the lack of actual, concrete progress.</p><p>Part of him wants to offer to talk to Jisung, but he bites his tongue and decides against it. Changbin and Jisung have both a friendship <em> and </em> a working relationship, and if Changbin really wanted to, he’d confront Jisung – or at least call for a band meeting. He’s a team player, and a patient one at that, so Minho knows that Changbin is really just venting.</p><p>“I don’t really want to go to practice tonight,” Changbin exhales; this time he sounds more defeated than pissed off.</p><p>“Figured as much,” Minho chuckles softly; he’s not sure what alternative to offer until he glances at his phone, still in his hand, and he remembers a bunch of messages he received earlier. “Gen Funk’s playing at Club Orange tonight,” he shares, a corner of his mouth curving upwards at the cautious offering. “They’re co-headlining with The Flower Pots,” he adds, referring to a female-fronted band that had surfaced in the indie music circuit right around the time when AVSG had been scaling back on booking gigs in accordance to their agreement with Orgel.</p><p>They were pretty good friends with Generated Funk because they’d come up together, and they had met the members of The Flower Pots enough times to form a friendly rapport with them.</p><p>“Yeah?” Changbin looks up, and shakes his head with a sideways smirk. “Should be us playing there,” he comments; he makes it sound like a joke but it’s clearly half meant. “I miss the stage, man,” he adds with a sigh, right before he pulls himself. “But sure, I’m in.”</p><p>Minho laughs. “Go shower then, while I message ‘Sung and make excuses as to why we’re not gonna show up at practice tonight.”</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>Minho wonders if he and Changbin maybe overdid the last night a little. After their performances, the members of Generated Funk and The Flower Pots all went out for late night drinks and they'd invited Changbin and Minho to go with them.</p><p>It probably wasn't a very smart decision to agree, but he knew they needed to unwind—not to mention they'd missed their band friends a lot, and Minho figured they all deserved the chance to catch up.</p><p>Fun was definitely had, but it's been a while since he or Changbin had last drank as much as they did and now Minho is paying the consequences of that with the major hangover he's currently nursing.</p><p>“Good morning, hyung,” Jeongin greets him as he walks into the kitchen in search of coffee—or really anything else to help with his throbbing headache. “You're up early for someone who didn't get in until the crack of dawn.”</p><p>Minho winces; his phone had told him that it was several minutes past ten in the morning before he'd gotten out of bed. Across the room from him, Changbin was still deep in slumber, arms and limbs stretched out, with his blankets half kicked away and sliding off the side of the bed. Minho wishes he could sleep more like his roommate, but he's always been an early riser, no matter what time he knocks out the night before, or how little sleep he gets.</p><p>“Aren't you supposed to be in school already?” Minho asks tiredly, moving slowly around the kitchen as he tries to get a fresh pot of coffee brewing.</p><p>Jeongin is in his school uniform, but he's taking his time eating a bowl of rice coupled with an assortment of side dishes his mom had sent earlier that week.</p><p>“Nah,” he answers. “With graduation so soon, I don't really need to go to school until the afternoon.” His gaze follows Minho as the latter parks himself on the seat across the table. “Did you and Changbin-hyung have fun last night?”</p><p>Minho shrugs; he stares at the food Jeongin is eating as he lightly massages his temple with his fingers.</p><p>“Wooyoung-ssi stopped by last night,” Jeongin shares, and suddenly he has Minho's full attention.</p><p>“Shit,” Minho hisses; he thinks his headache just got worse. “Did he ask about me and Changbin?”</p><p>Jeongin hums. “Don't worry, we covered for you—but if anyone asks you how your grandma's birthday went, just say you ate well as her favorite grandson.”</p><p>Minho snorts. “I'm both my grandmothers' only grandson,” he points out, sighing as he stands up again to finally pour himself a cup of coffee. “So I'm both their favorite.”</p><p>“Even better then, it wasn't a complete lie.” Jeongin chuckles. “Wouldn't have wanted management to think our leader skives off practice in favor of having a night out drinking.”</p><p>Minho winces; he'd argue that he isn't the leader because it isn't as if there was ever a formal consensus that allowed this to happen. Even after four years, sometimes Minho still catches himself thinking of the group as <em> Jisung’s band, </em> so when they finally signed on as band trainees, and everyone else pointed at him when asked who the leader was, well—needless to say, he had been surprised. </p><p>“Should be you,” he had told Jisung then, who’d vehemently refused the notion.</p><p>“You’re the one who's always talked with club managers to finalise our schedules and settle our accounts,” Jisung pointed out.</p><p>“That makes me sound more like a manager than a leader,” he had joked, but Jisung had responded not by laughing, but by solemnly shaking his head.</p><p>“You take care of all of us, hyung,” he said softly, sincerely. “In your own way, you always take care of us—and you're the one who always keeps me—<em> us </em> grounded.”</p><p>He couldn't really say no after that, but most of the time it still feels like a role that's very foreign to him. </p><p>“Changbin needed to unwind,” he just tells Jeongin eventually, once he gets caffeine flowing in his system. He could reason that drinking wasn’t even on the original itinerary—that they just wanted to see some of their old friends perform, and maybe soak in some of the adrenaline from that. They needed motivation—and a reminder of their roots, and therefore their goals moving forward, was necessary. It didn’t feel right making excuses though because they <em> did </em> get careless, when Minho should have probably insisted on going home earlier than they did. “What did he want anyway, why was he there?”</p><p>“I think he wanted to drop by and talk to Jisungie-hyung about something,” Jeongin explains in between shoving rice into his mouth. “Me and Lixie-hyung weren’t exactly welcome into the conversation. I think it probably has something to do with how Jisung-hyung was up early today.”</p><p>Minho blinks. He had assumed that Jisung was holed up in his room, like usual, sleeping in until someone pulled him out of bed for lunch in a couple of hours.</p><p>“He’s not here?”</p><p>Jeongin shakes his head. “He and Lix-hyung headed out early today, but I know that for Lix-hyung it’s because he had promised to meet Seungmin-hyung for breakfast—pretty sure Jisung-hyung wouldn’t wake up that early for breakfast, <em> or </em> for Seungmin-hyung.” </p><p>“Oh. Alright.” Minho nods, and doesn’t say anything more. Knowing Jisung as well as he does, he knows that Jeongin is right. He finishes his coffee, and he pulls his phone out to check if there are any messages from Jisung. There are none, and he can’t describe the feeling of something heavy sinking into his stomach at this. </p><p>It isn’t that he and Jisung tell each other every single thing – but this feels like a secret is being deliberately hidden, and it doesn’t feel good. He attempts to shake his suspicions off, reminding himself that Jisung will always—<em> always— </em> put the band ahead of himself, because this is <em> his </em> dream as much as it is everyone else’s. They wouldn’t even exist with Jisung—heck, Minho wouldn’t even know the difference between a bass drum and a snare drum if Jisung hadn’t somehow decided that he was the perfect fit for a drummer, so he wants to believe that every single thing Jisung is doing, he’s doing for all of them.</p><p><em> He seems to be really enjoying the fact that the company’s keeping him busy, </em>Minho recalls Changbin saying the night before, and there’s so much truth to it. Jisung shines when he’s working, and when he feels like he’s utilizing his talents to the best of his ability so Minho doesn’t want to begrudge him that.</p><p>And yet, for all the accommodation he wants to provide, he can’t help the faint sound of sirens going off at the back of his head, warning him of trouble to come.</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p class="kakao"><b>hwabun_jwon:</b> minho</p><p class="kakao"><b>minhoiscute:</b> jiwon</p><p class="kakao"><b>hwabun_jwon:</b> u free next friday?</p><p class="kakao"><b>minhoiscute:</b> for u? <br/><b>minhoiscute:</b> never</p><p class="kakao"><b>hwabun_jwon:</b> .</p><p class="kakao"><b>minhoiscute:</b> lmao <br/><b>minhoiscute:</b> whats up</p><p class="kakao"><b>hwabun_jwon:</b> our drummer bailed <br/><b>hwabun_jwon:</b> wanna come play a gig with us? <br/><b>hwabun_jwon:</b> we’re desperate lol</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>~~</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>“What the fuck do you mean by soft solo debut?” Changbin practically growls, anger evident not only in his voice, but in his expression and his stance. He's seated, but he looks ready to pounce; his jaw is set and there's something scary reflected in his eyes.</p><p>Out of all the members of the band, Minho has known Changbin the longest. He has been witness to his friend's patience be tested several times before but he thinks this might be the first time he's seen Changbin's string finally, truly break.</p><p>They're in their practice room, seated on the floor in a circle. Minho and Jisung had just come from a meeting with management where they’d been told about the plans to have Jisung debut officially ahead of the band; apparently it was a decision that Jisung wanted Minho to be there for—not that he really had any say, because it was clear that he was there to listen, and not offer any input. He was made to sit there as they outlined plans for Jisung to write and compose music with the help of a select number of professional producers that they have apparently already been in contact with; they had detailed plans for him to promote on music shows , and while Jisung wore a big, excited smile on his face, Minho had no choice to be quiet and take it all in as he wondered what exactly they wanted him there for. </p><p>And then they made it clear that it was on him and Jisung to relay the news to the rest of the members, and it suddenly made sense. They were passing off the responsibility of breaking clearly polarizing news, and it was mighty irresponsible if one was to ask Minho—not that anyone did. So here they are now, and he knows he’s stuck with this responsibility because somehow, somewhere along the way he had been saddled with the responsibilities of leadership without him asking for them.</p><p>Truthfully, he had expected this exact reaction from their bassist. Meanwhile Jeongin and Felix are both quiet; the latter looks like he’s confused, while their youngest looks pensive. </p><p>“They made it clear that it’s just a soft debut,” Minho tries to clarify, even though the words coming out of his mouth feel devoid of meaning. He isn’t happy about it either, but he feels the need to be calm and leaderlike because someone has to be.</p><p>“No—” Changbin cuts him off, his gaze sharp as they settle on Jisung. “I want to hear from <em> him.” </em></p><p>Jisung looks nervous at first, but he takes a deep breath and Minho easily predicts what happens next – Jisung straightens his back, lifts his chin and meets Changbin’s stare. </p><p>“They want me to do solo promotions,” he explains, tone so even that one can almost describe it as steely. This is what Jisung does when he wants to be taken seriously and he’s nervous – he overcompensates, and it makes Minho frown that he’s using this tactic on them. “They want me to come out with a digital single—just three songs of my own,” he continues, and with each word that comes out of his mouth, Minho observes as the level of Changbin’s ire visibly heightens when he even moves to get up on his feet. “And then from there—”</p><p>“Didn’t we sign as a band?” Changbin doesn’t let him finish either. “When we agreed to stop all our current activities so we can—” he makes double air quotes, “—‘train’ to be a better version of the band before debuting to the general public, even though we’ve been at this for four years before they even came along—<em> fuck!” </em> He hisses. “What happened to being in this for all of us?!”</p><p>“This <em> is </em> for us,” Jisung insists; his voice is getting louder, like he wants to win the argument through sheer volume, and he doesn’t hesitate to stand up either so that he and Changbin can continue seeing eye to eye. “Through getting to know me, they’ll get to know the band.”</p><p>“Then why can’t they just get to know the band—get to know <em> our </em> music from the get go?!”</p><p>“Hyung—” Jisung grits his teeth, and Changbin snarls, stepping forward into the middle of the circle so he can move in on Jisung’s personal space.</p><p>“If you want to fucking promote as a soloist, then just say so, Jisung. Don’t pretend you’re doing it for the rest of us.” Changbin’s tone is icy, and it makes Minho wince. He starts to get up as well, when Jisung impatiently shoves Changbin off him.</p><p>“Don’t put words into my mouth,” he retorts loudly, <em> sharply; </em> Minho can read him well enough to identify the hurt on his features but he isn’t sure the same can be said for Changbin who growls and pushes him back. “You don’t have to be fucking rude just because you’re upset at management’s decisions!”</p><p>“Guys—” Minho speaks up, but his voice is small and overpowered by Changbin and Jisung’s natural loudness.</p><p>“Management—?” Changbin scoffs. “All they had to do was fill your head with empty validation and—”</p><p>“Empty?!” Jisung practically shrieks. “Are you trying to say that my work doesn't deserve praise—? I work hard for this band, hyung—I write lyrics, I compose music—I do everything I do for all of us!”</p><p>“You’re so caught up in whatever bullshit they’ve been feeding you that you even sound like you actually believe what you’re saying.” Changbin snorts. “What happened to this is everyone’s dream—? Everyone’s hard work?!”</p><p>There’s a pregnant pause, and maybe this is when Minho should have made his move to cut them off completely. Maybe this is when he should have  spoken up and got in between them—but it takes him a moment too long to open his mouth, and before anything even comes out of it, Jisung is speaking again. </p><p>“This was <em> my </em> dream originally,” he spits out, and at that, even Minho balks. To be fair, the moment the words slip past his tongue, even Jisung appears surprised, eyes wide before he turns his head to finally break his eye contact with Changbin.</p><p>“Tch.” Changbin jeers and shakes his head, stepping away and raising his hands as if in defeat. “Get your fucking head out of your ass, Jisung—and then maybe we’ll talk.”</p><p>All along, Jeongin and Felix had remained frozen in place, huddled together as they watched the fight unfold in front of them. Minho can’t blame them for not saying anything – these are two of his best friends and even he had not known what to say or do. Changbin is already gathering his things, while Jisung just stands there – he has a blank expression on, but a corner of his lips twitch, and Minho knows that he very well knows he’d said one thing too many—that Jisung would do anything to take it back. </p><p>“Bin, come on—” Minho tries, sighing as he half-heartedly reaches out for his friend to try and stop him from leaving. “Let’s talk this out.”</p><p>The bassist firmly shakes his head; he casts a quick glance at Jisung who is still doing his best not to look at him, and he snorts. “Not really in the mood for this shit right now,” he mutters. “I’ll see you tonight,” he adds quietly, just for Minho, and then he’s moving past him and heading out of the door.</p><p>“Fuck,” Minho mumbles, and even then Jisung only stands there quietly. When Felix clears his throat, and Jeongin shushes him immediately, Minho finally turns to them. “Are you guys hungry?” He asks, sounding more than a little resigned, because at this point, he thinks they all need to calm down before attempting any sort of group conversation again.</p><p>“Hyung—” Jisung finally calls out, his voice clearly on the verge of breaking.</p><p>“I’m taking them out for lunch,” is what Minho answers him with; he wants to extend the invitation to Jisung too, because this is Jisung and Minho’s never able to resist him anyway, but right now even he feels tired and incredibly hurt by Jisung’s words from earlier. “We’ll talk later,” he adds softly.</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>When Minho returns to the practice room that afternoon, he does so by himself. Felix, as usual, has language lessons and Jeongin had tagged along. (“Is that even allowed?” Minho asked, and Felix had shrugged, explaining that his tutor probably wouldn’t mind.)</p><p>He’s not really surprised when he finds Jisung there, still by himself. He has his guitar cradled in his arms and a convenience store bag filled with food next to him, but he's neither playing music, or eating. He's simply staring blankly at the wall, looking like he's deep in thought.</p><p>Minho doesn't say anything as he silently crosses the room, heading straight to his drum kit, beside which he had earlier left his bag.</p><p>“Hyung,” Jisung croaks, softly but effectively catching his attention. Minho glances at him, and he has to bite the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from answering audibly; Jisung sighs. “Where are Jeongin and Lix?”</p><p>Minho shrugs. “Yongbokie has tutorials as usual,” he explains, using Felix’s given Korean name, if only because he’s grown used to fondly and teasingly using it when referring to their guitarist. “Innie went with him.” He almost adds <em> ‘because he doesn’t want to be around any of us,’ </em>but he doesn’t want to punish Jisung any more with words like that. “I told them we’re not having practice this evening though, so I’m not sure if they’ll make plans tonight.”</p><p>“Oh.” Jisung looks a tad bit more dejected, and it’s Minho’s turn to sigh. He wants to show that he’s feeling upset as well, but it’s really hard to keep a strong and stony demeanor in front of Jisung.</p><p>“Yeah,” he mumbles with a nod; he’s pretending to be looking for something in his bag—to be checking his things, just so he doesn’t have to look up and take in Jisung’s pained expression any more than he already has.</p><p>“Hyung,” Jisung calls out to him again.</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“Are you mad at me?” </p><p>Minho freezes; after a moment he sighs and puts his bag down. He’s pretty sure that Jisung has long known that he can’t really ever get seriously mad at him, so the fact that he’s asking him like this – it’s a little annoying, if he’s to be honest.</p><p>“I didn't mean it, hyung, I swear.” Jisung has put down his guitar in favor of standing up and moving towards Minho, which is even worse for Minho’s resolve. “What I told Changbin-hyung about—<em> you know.” </em></p><p>“Could've fooled me,” he ends up spitting words that are harsher than intended, if only because Minho is overcompensating.</p><p>From the corner of his eye, he notices Jisung flinch. “You really believe that hyung?”</p><p>“You tell me,” Minho answers with another nonchalant shrug.</p><p>The younger male sighs yet again, but he stops right in front of Minho’s drum kit, hands in pockets and posture ruler straight. “But I’m doing this for us,” he says, voice hardly wavering, and finally Minho is able to look up and look at him directly in the eyes.</p><p>Jisung has clearly gathered enough bluster to put on his faux confident act, and Minho can deal with him easier when he’s like this.</p><p>“You really believe <em> that?” </em> He challenges.</p><p>“Yes!” Jisung argues, tone rising. There’s a spark in his eyes, and Minho isn’t sure if that means Jisung is truly buying what he’s peddling, or if it’s more a hint of uncertainty; either way, it makes Minho recoil, because Jisung is usually much easier to read for him than this. “Any publicity I get—ultimately, isn’t that for everyone?” Jisung presses, frustration evident in his tone. </p><p>“Then you're lying to yourself,” Minho tells him with a quiet snort. He might be unable to truly get mad at Jisung, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel disappointment. “That—or you've completely lost sight of the big picture, and I’m not even sure which would be worse. You realise that Changbin wouldn't have been as mad if you were at least honest with what you really want, right?”</p><p>“Hyung…” Jisung repeats for the umpteenth time, and Minho exhales loudly.</p><p>“Do you still know what you want, ‘Sung?” He asks evenly.</p><p>“Yes!” Jisung answers, far too brusquely, as if he’s convincing himself as much as he is Minho.</p><p>“What is it then?” Minho readily shoots back. “What do you want, Han Jisung?”</p><p>“I—” Jisung stammers, suddenly unable to get words out.</p><p>“See?” Minho sniffs. “I’m really not sure that you do.” At that, Jisung whispers something inaudible, that it makes Minho frown. “Don’t have a conversation with yourself,” he says, annoyance evident in his tone in a way that it wasn’t before.</p><p>“I said—” Jisung groans, and he repeats what he said, still softly, but now loud enough that Minho catches it better, “—that Hyunjin told me the same thing. About not knowing what I want.”</p><p>Minho feels a prick at that, one that he doesn’t know how to describe, except for that he doesn’t understand why Jisung even feels the need to include Hyunjin in this conversation, when he isn’t even a part of the band. “Well it's nice that <em> Hyunjin </em> can call you out like that,” he comments, sounding pretty short.</p><p>“It's not—” Jisung grits teeth; he pauses and takes a deep breath before trying again. “I only mentioned him because—I just. I thought he was just parroting what Changbin-hyung was saying. They're super close now, you know?”</p><p>Minho feels his blood pressure rising at Jisung being so roundabout; he doesn’t know what to begin to say to that. “Is that what this is about? Some kind of jealousy over Hyunjin and Changbin?” He asks, feeling his chest tightening from even just entertaining this idea. “Otherwise—is it so wrong even if he <em> was </em> just repeating what Changbin has expressed? Because Changbin’s point stands either way, ‘Sung.”</p><p>“No!” Jisung argues harshly. “It’s not that!” He groans, clearly vexed. “I don’t care what they think! I mean—” He’s gesturing wildly; this is how Jisung is. He can be good with words when he wants, but once emotions take over him, he easily forgets how to be coherent. "I just—” he takes a deep breath, and Minho waits for him to gather his thoughts together. “I <em> do </em> care about what they think, but I care more about what <em> you </em> think, hyung.”</p><p>Minho blinks. “I just told you what I think,” he points out.</p><p>“Right…” Jisung trails off. “You think I don't know what I want.”</p><p>They stare at each other, both of them clearly wanting to say more—both of them clearly wanting to fix whatever is going on, but not knowing how, at least not yet.</p><p>It's Minho who averts his gaze first, and it takes him a surprising amount of conscious effort to do so.</p><p>“I'm going to go now because I have somewhere to be,” he says softly. “I'll probably be late, but I'll see you at the dorm.”</p><p>And then, for the second time that day, he walks out on Jisung.</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>It's almost like déjà vu for Minho when he walks into the dorm later that evening, and it's eerily quiet. Just like at the practice room that afternoon he knows that only Jisung is home, and sure enough once he steps into the small and shared living area, Jisung is there, curled up at the end of the couch and blankly staring at the TV set that’s playing a late night rerun of a public broadcast music show. </p><p>Minho hates that one of his first thoughts is resentful – soon, one day, Jisung will be on one of those music shows without the rest of them.</p><p>“Hey, hyung,” Jisung mumbles, looking up at him and lowering the television’s volume.</p><p>Minho quietly nods at him and just heads to his room to put down his things; he already knows that Changbin isn’t home – nor is he coming home. His roommate had been in the audience earlier when he had, for the fifth time in the last two months, had filled in as The Flower Pots’ drummer, and at the end of the night Changbin had told him that he was going home to his parents’ house instead of the dorm, and that he might just stay there for the rest of the weekend so he can cool down. </p><p>Meanwhile, Felix had scored an invite to a sleepover at Seungmin’s house, and once again, Jeongin had tagged along. He wasn’t shy when he texted Minho that it was because he wasn’t really looking forward to any weird tension or drama at the dorm, and Minho had let them because he figured they all needed the space anyway.</p><p>He walks back out to head to the bathroom for a shower, and mentally notes that Jisung has not moved an inch on the couch. Usually, the younger male has no problem keeping to himself, in his room, so Minho can’t help but wonder if situating himself in the living room is a deliberate choice on Jisung’s part – if it’s because he’s waiting for Minho, somehow.</p><p>He still has no idea how to confront Jisung, however, so even after he’s done washing up, and Jisung is <em> still </em> there on the couch, albeit with the television now turned off, Minho doesn’t say much.</p><p>“G'night, ‘Sung,” he says casually, before he steps back into his room. His heart feels heavy, and it sinks even more when, after he gets into bed, he hears the sound of shuffling outside in the living room. He assumes that Jisung is finally moving off the couch to go to <em> his </em> own room, and Minho shifts uncomfortably at the fact that they’re both going to bed having unresolved issues.</p><p>He contemplates getting up and going to Jisung’s bed like he usually does; even if he doesn’t say a word, that kind of thing is normal between the two of them anyway. Even through problems, that proximity might be able to bring them both comfort – and as loath as he is to admit it, he needs that comfort as much as Jisung likely does.</p><p>Before he can make a decision though, the handle of his own bedroom door jiggles, and then it slowly creaks open.</p><p>“Hyung?” Jisung whispers shakily, and Minho doesn’t need any more than that before he shifts and makes room on his bed for Jisung to slide into.</p><p>The younger male exhales and gently closes the door behind him, and it takes him only a couple of steps to cross the room even in the dark, and the moment he gets into bed, Minho feels Jisung let out a silent sob.</p><p>“‘Sung—?” He calls out softly, turning on his side so he can face the younger male. “Han Jisung,” he says; all lights are turned off, and the moon is waning crescent so moonlight hardly filters in through the half-open blinds, so Minho can barely make out any of Jisung’s features. Still, his nose accidentally nuzzles against Jisung’s cheek, and he immediately detects the wetness on his skin. “Are you crying—?”</p><p>He feels Jisung hold his breath – which is silly, because the effect is only that his next silent sob is not so silent anymore, as it comes with a deep inhale.</p><p>“Jisungie,” he sighs, and nuzzles Jisung again, this time deliberately. “Don’t cry—why are you crying?”</p><p>“I’m—” Jisung wheezes; the tears just fall harder now, clearly uncontrollable, and when Jisung tries to speak, he has to do so in between muffled sobbing. “I’m—sorry—” Jisung says, and the way his voice breaks draws cracks in Minho’s heart.</p><p>No matter how disappointed he feels, he never wants Jisung to feel—or sound—<em> this </em> defeated. </p><p>“Okay,” he whispers, wrapping his arms around the younger’s smaller frame and pulling him as close to him as possible. Jisung continues to cry and shake in his arms, and Minho almost wants to make some kind of crack about him wetting Minho’s shirt with his salty tears if only to diffuse tension, but for now he holds his tongue.</p><p>Eventually Jisung calms down, and this is when Minho pulls away some, so that he can press a chaste kiss against the younger’s forehead. </p><p>“I’m sorry,” Jisung repeats, his voice hoarse and his tone still shaky.</p><p>“Do you know what you’re sorry for?” he asks softly.</p><p>“I—I think so,” Jisung mumbles; he pulls away so that he can wipe his face with the collar of his ratty sleeping shirt. Now that his eyes have gotten a little more used to the dark, Minho can sort of make out his features; he notices how puffy eyed Jisung looks, and he has to hold back from moving in and kissing his tear-stained cheeks. “I’m sorry hyung,” Jisung repeats. “For everything.”</p><p>Minho hums, and he supposes Jisung rightfully takes that as his cue to keep going.</p><p>“You’re all right—I was thinking about it all day, and I don’t think I really know what I want anymore,” he mumbles in admittance.</p><p>Minho sighs. “'Sung—”</p><p>“But I did,” Jisung continues, disregarding Minho's attempt to cut him off. “I used to know, and I used to be clear about my priorities—about my dreams and what I wanted.”</p><p>“Sometimes what you want changes,” Minho murmurs softly.</p><p>It's Jisung's turn to sigh. “Hyung, you know that… when we got the band together… that was the first time when I felt like I really belonged. You know? Like. I belonged in a group. I had real friends.”</p><p>Minho hums because he knows; Jisung has expressed this to him enough times in the past before, in not so many words.</p><p>“I think that being with everyone allowed me to truly be comfortable in my own skin—but I guess it’s true what they say about too much of anything not really being a good thing.” He winces. “I think I lost track of myself—Binnie-hyung was right when he said that my head was so far up my own ass… My priorities shifted and I could only see what I wanted—what made <em> me </em> feel good.”</p><p>Minho chuckles softly, <em>sadly</em>, and Jisung whines in a mix of frustration and embarrassment.</p><p>“Remember when you asked me if I’m happy?” Minho inquires, moving closer as his hand rubs circles against the small of Jisung's back; he feels the latter nod. “Are <em> you </em> happy?”</p><p>“I… thought I was,” Jisung answers.</p><p>Minho takes in a deep breath. “If you aren’t sure, then maybe my question should be—what makes you happy, Jisungie?”</p><p>There’s a long pause, as if Jisung is truly giving the question serious thought, and then,</p><p>“Being recognised for my music, and having it reach a wide audience, that makes me really happy, hyung,” Jisung begins to explain, and Minho nods slowly; something about the answer pricks at his heart, but he understands. “But there are other things, though,” Jisung continues, “like being on stage, performing—especially when I’m with you—err, I mean when I’m with everyone, that gives me great joy. Being with the band is part of my happiness.” He pauses, closes his eyes and inhales deeply. “Being with—with you, especially—you make me happy, hyung,” he mumbles, under his breath, almost as if embarrassed – but Minho hears him loud and clear.</p><p>He goes quiet, if only because a barrage of emotions take over him; warmth springs from his chest, spreading throughout his body, down to the tips of his toes and fingers. The atmosphere around them feels gloomy, and yet, he finds himself trying to stifle a smile.</p><p>“Hyung?” Jisung asks, sounding nervous probably because Minho hasn’t said anything.</p><p>“I—” Minho begins, and even he is overwhelmed and surprised by what comes out of his mouth next, “I’m in love with you, Jisung.”</p><p>And then there’s silence again, and Minho’s heart starts beating rapidly, because <em> fuck, </em> did he really just say that? </p><p>If one asks him when he started having these feelings beyond friendship—when he started needing to repress them, he wouldn’t know how to answer. Jisung has been by his side for so long, and they’ve grown so close to the point when sometimes Minho is unable to tell when one of them ends, and the other begins – and it’s like this with his feelings as well. He doesn’t know when they began, because at this point, they’re simply a part of him.</p><p>“Hyung?” Jisung sounds less broken now, despite the way his breath still hitches; he sounds partly surprised, maybe confused. </p><p>Minho doesn’t want to repeat what he said, so he remains silent; if Jisung hadn’t heard properly, then that’s on him. Maybe it’s a sign because this is clearly the worst time for a confession. And then Jisung sits up, and Minho feels his heart start to break because — is Jisung about to leave right after he basically laid his feelings out?</p><p>“Hyung?” Jisung repeats, but he isn't making any move to get out of the bed. Instead, he’s just sitting there and looking down at Minho; he shifts, and Minho can almost see the crease in his brow as he attempts to figure out how to respond.</p><p>“Anyway—” Minho speaks up, not really comfortable with having to wait for an answer. If Jisung has to think about what to say to that, then maybe he doesn’t want to hear it.</p><p>“Shut up, hyung,” Jisung hisses at him, possibly harsher than necessary but it does surprise Minho into silence; then he’s leaning down, and before Minho’s brain can produce any more superfluous thoughts, Jisung’s lips are on his.</p><p>He can taste the faint salt of the tears the younger had been shedding not even fifteen minutes ago, but Minho decides he does not care. He leans up, hand settling on Jisung’s neck as he goes after the kiss, hardly biding his time before his tongue swipes along the seams of Jisung’s lips, eagerly seeking entrance into his mouth.</p><p>He’s waited so long for this—so long to kiss Jisung, to taste him, and now that Jisung has made the first move, Minho isn’t about to shy away.</p><p><em> I’m in love with you, </em> he keeps repeating in his head, almost like a mantra even as he and Jisung move to accommodate each other; they’re in sync as usual, Jisung’s hands moving alongside Minho’s torso as he shifts to straddle his stomach. </p><p>“Hyung,” Jisung exhales as their mouths break away for air; Minho is cradling his head, keeping him close that their noses are practically still touching. “I’m in love with you too,” he says, surely and evenly and with a hint of a smile gracing his lips.</p><p>It should be weird; just that morning, Minho was feeling overwhelmed with the disappointment he felt about Jisung’s recent choices, and just twenty minutes ago he was overwhelmed with not knowing how to comfort a  Jisung who had been crying uncontrollably in his arms. </p><p>And now he feels overwhelmed with happiness and relief, and all he wants to do is kiss Jisung some more, until their lips become freakishly swollen, or their lips fall off with too much use.</p><p>Jisung leans down, moving in for another kiss, because for the first time in a while, they’re back on the exact same page and it feels good. When Jisung’s calloused fingers find their way under his shirt, hot against his bare skin, he decides that feels even better and his hips unconsciously buck up against Jisung.</p><p>“I want you too, hyung,” Jisung mumbles right into his mouth, and Minho’s hands move down to his hips, gripping him there as Jisung consciously pushes down on him.</p><p>He doesn't remember verbally expressing his desire, but it makes sense at this point that Jisung just <em> knows. </em></p><p>He goes with the flow—both of them do, hands going everywhere as they both somehow rid each other of their clothes. Everything feels so good, except for a faint traitorous thought at the back of Minho's head, wondering about Jisung's previous experience in this department.</p><p>“Have you… before?” he gasps out as Jisung pulls the drawstring on his sleeping pants; what he'd meant to say is that he has some condoms in the bottom drawer of his bedside table, along with a half empty bottle of lube—but his mind is all mixed up, because <em> holy shit this is really heading that way </em>, and that's what comes out of his mouth instead. </p><p>Jisung goes still; he exhales softly, and then he reaches over, fingers brushing Minho's hair away from his eyes. “Hyunjin and I did a bunch of stuff,” he mumbles, “but—” his breath hitches, “—not everything. I—I want to do more—<em> everything </em>with you.”</p><p>Jisung's words are more than enough to fully bring Minho to the here and now—more than enough to have his dick twitch in eager attention; he sits up, arms circling around Jisung's ridiculously tiny waist and pulling him close until their chests are pressed against each other, and their mouths are once more connected.</p><p>The rest of the night feels like a blur, yet every single thing that happens between them, every moment, touch and emotion imprints deeply in Minho's memories, sharp and vivid in the same way every other thing about Jisung has always been.</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>They're all together again, seated around their dining table, their expressions ranging from solemn and uncomfortable to ashen and unreadable.</p><p>The weekend is over, and Changbin is back at the dorm, same with Jeongin and Felix. Under the table, Minho feels Jisung reach for him, his tiny fingers nervously but perfectly wrapping around his own.</p><p>“We should talk,” Minho announces, as if it isn't. already obvious to everyone that that's exactly what they're all gathered around for. “Anybody want to speak first?” He follows up, shooting Changbin a very obvious look, silently imploring him to speak up.</p><p>Changbin whinges, but he nods. “Yeah, well. I've been doing some thinking—” he looks around the table, and the corner of Minho's mouth quirks. Normally this is where either he or Jisung would make a teasing comment about his thinking habits, but obviously this isn't the time for trading barbs. “I think I need some time away,” Changbin says.</p><p>“Hyung!” Felix gasps in surprise; Minho feels Jisung's hold on his hand tighten.</p><p>“I feel like I'm rotting away, and I'd rather put my focus completely on other things if I'm not going to be doing anything here,” Changbin continues. “Next term I'm thinking of enrolling with a full course load.”</p><p>“Hyung, please, I'm sorry—” Jisung frowns, and practically pleads. “You don't have to do that—you were right about me. I'll turn down the solo offer if that’s what it takes.”</p><p>“‘Sung, no,” Changbin immediately shoots him down; he doesn’t sound angry, or even resigned. He just sounds sincere, and certain. “I’m sorry too,” he adds. “I was frustrated and angry—but I shouldn't have snapped like I did.”</p><p>“But—” Jisung keeps trying to argue, and Minho could tell that despite Changbin’s calm, and clearly heartfelt demeanor, Jisung’s guilt just keeps piling up.</p><p>“Do you want to do the solo?” Changbin asks, cutting him off. </p><p>At this, Minho and Jisung exchange a look; Minho nods subtly, but encouragingly, a silent assurance that Jisung should feel free to express himself honestly.</p><p>“A little,” Jisung admits softly.</p><p>“And I think—I think I’m completely fine with that,” Changbin declares. “So you should do that, and in the meantime I’ll take a break from—well. <em> This.” </em></p><p>“Wait—that's not fair,” Jeongin interjects, finally speaking up for the first time since the meeting started.</p><p>Changbin sighs. “Yeah, you're right, I can’t ask you guys to wait for me while I try to figure out what other things I want to do—and who knows if management will even agree to a simple hiatus from me. Likely not—they'd probably want to look for a new bassist and…” he trails off briefly, but all eyes are kept on him. “I think I’m fine with that if that’s what needs to happen.”</p><p>“Bin, I—” Minho is about to say that <em> he </em> isn’t fine with that, but Jeongin beats him to speaking.</p><p>“That's not what I meant—let me out it like this. I hated the time when we went on hiatus,” he says. “And truthfully, I don't think I really want to keep doing this without Binnie-hyung.” He looks around the table, looking self-conscious, but sounding self-assured. “Or any of the rest of you,” he adds with a frown. “I still remember when I first saw the band play back when I wasn't even in high school yet—and it was kind of flattering when Jisung-hyung invited me to join but... I think—if it's not <em> this </em> group, then I think I also want to try seeing if there's something else I can be good at and passionate about.”</p><p>“Guys…” Felix looks so conflicted, and Minho can’t blame him. Out of all of them, he’s probably the one in the most precarious position. He hasn’t been with them for as long, and the company would probably try to find other bandmates for him, but even though it’s only been a year, give or take, he’s already proven himself to be the type of person with unwavering loyalty.</p><p>Minho himself, is quite unsure of how he feels at the moment.</p><p>“Guys please, no—” Jisung continues to try and appeal to all of them. “I’m truly, deeply sorry. I would choose all of you, on any given day, in a heartbeat—over anything else. Over any other opportunity.” </p><p>And here is where Minho feels compelled to speak up. “That’s not fair though. You deserve that validation that you’re craving for, Jisungie. You deserve to be able to grab opportunities that you’re offered, and you deserve to see how far you can go with your music—I know you said that <em> we </em> helped you gain a kind of confidence and a sense of belonging that you never had before. If you ask me, that’s <em> our </em> honor and pleasure, but also—maybe it's time to see how far you can take yourself, without the rest of us as a safety net.”</p><p>“But that's not how I see you,” Jisung insists.</p><p>“Sorry,” Minho sighs. “I worded it wrong. I think what I’m trying to say right now is… we <em> all </em> need to figure out our own priorities, and we <em> all </em>deserve to see how far we can go with goals for ourselves, and not for us as a group.”</p><p>“I… don't know what I want,” Felix interjects, sounding lost and confused, and for some reason that’s enough to break the tension and they all break out into chuckles.</p><p>“I don't want to quit the band,” Jisung presses.</p><p>“I think you're just scared,” Changbin points out. “That's understandable, but you'll do great—and you don’t have to think about it as quitting.”</p><p>“This can't be the end?” Felix asks, a frown curved on his lips. </p><p>“I think it's better to stop here,” Minho says. “At least for now. We all only have signed trainee contracts—we can get out of those easier than if we debut and more terms are set in stone. What if we find ourselves at each other's throats again because we have different goals and priorities?” </p><p>“But…” Jisung looks like he's about to cry. </p><p>“We had a good time together,” Minho continues, giving Jisung’s hand what he hopes is a comforting squeeze. “We made good music and we experienced the joy of having crowds sing our songs back to us.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Changbin agrees. “We'll always have those memories.”</p><p>Felix nods slowly, and he flashes an encouraging smile. “I guess, even if I haven't been playing with the rest of you for as long, I still have a lot of good memories—I still have a lot of moments that I remember and treasure fondly. I don't want it to end yet, but—we can’t force it, right?”</p><p>“Maybe there’ll be a next time?” Jeongin volunteers. “You never really know. So we shouldn’t think of it as the end, though—it’s an indefinite pause, if anything, right?” He turns to Minho as if asking for a silent agreement, and Minho can’t help but smile a little as he offers a curt nod.</p><p>Jisung, meanwhile, just looks more and more pained as the conversation continues, and it's obvious that everyone else sounding so final and resigned isn't helping his guilt go anywhere.</p><p>“Fuck,” Jisung hisses; he abruptly lets go of Minho's hand and he gets up on his feet. “I’m sorry for everything. I’m sorry for being so selfish and for being so…” he shakes his head, and then he bows briefly, before turning and rushing out of the kitchen.</p><p>A few seconds later, they all hear his bedroom door slam close, and Minho can only sigh at that.</p><p>Changbin moves to follow but Minho is quick at stopping him. “I’ll talk to him.”</p><p>The bassist makes eye contact with him for a couple of seconds before conceding with a nod. “Make him understand that I really am not mad at him—and that I don't blame him for anything,” he says to Minho.</p><p>Jeongin and Felix both nod as they echo in agreement.</p><p>“I know,” Minho tells them all. “I think he knows it too—he just needs to accept it.”</p><p>He knocks on Jisung’s door, but he doesn't wait for an acknowledgment before he pushes it open and he steps into the room. The younger male is seated on the floor, at the foot of his bed, his massive pig stuffed toy wrapped tightly in his arms, with his face buried against its plush back.</p><p>He doesn’t say anything to address Minho’s presence, but that doesn’t stop the latter from walking over and dropping down on the floor to sit next to him.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Jisungie,” Minho begins.</p><p>“No, hyung—” Jisung shakes his head. <em> “I’m </em> sorry. This is all my fault—”</p><p>“Stop,” Minho interrupts him. “We all worked well together, and then… we didn’t anymore. That’s what this all boils down to, if you really think of it.”</p><p>“If I didn't lose sight of everybody's dreams, then this wouldn't be happening,” Jisung expresses.</p><p>“Probably not,” Minho admits. “But you don’t have monopoly on the blame—I’m sure Changbin would say that if he had asserted himself better from the start, things wouldn’t have blown up like they did. More than that, <em> I </em> was lacking as a leader. I just stood by even though I could tell that things were getting more and more tense—even though I started having reservations about our arrangement. I should have said something, but I didn’t, and that’s on <em> me </em>. Who’s to say things wouldn’t be different if I had sat us all down and made sure we communicated properly right from the beginning?”</p><p>“You don’t have to do that, hyung.”</p><p>“Do what?”</p><p>“Try to make me feel better by blaming yourself.”</p><p>Minho laughs. “I’m just calling it how I see it, Jisungie. Taking on all the guilt yourself is pretty self-indulgent, don’t you think?” He elbows Jisung, and then he moves to lay his head against the curve of the latter’s shoulder. “It is how it is, Jisungie,” he points out, “and now everyone wants the chance to figure out things for themselves. We all deserve that, ‘Sung, you included.”</p><p>Jisung is quiet, and after a few seconds, Minho notices him shift and turn his head; he almost laughs when he feels Jisung sniff, and inhale through his hair. </p><p>“Do you like the smell of my shampoo, Jisungie?” He asks, teasing, hoping that it’ll help ease the heaviness in the atmosphere.</p><p>Jisung shrugs. “Smells like pine,” he comments quietly; and then, after a beat, he asks, “What about you, hyung? What are <em> you </em>going to do?”</p><p>Minho momentarily freezes because what comes next is the part that he hasn’t exactly told Jisung about before.</p><p>“Well—” he exhales, and he pulls away to sit up straight; he turns to his side so that he can look at Jisung directly. “Jiwon and the others—you know I’ve been playing with them a lot over the last month or two, right?”</p><p>Creases instantly form on Jisung’s brow. “Yeah?”</p><p>“They asked me if I want to become their permanent drummer,” he confesses. “I wasn’t really considering it before, but they told me I should take my time to think about it, and now…”</p><p>“Oh.” Jisung blinks. “And now you think you want to accept the offer?”</p><p>Minho sighs, and then he nods cautiously. “It’s a good opportunity—and playing with them makes me feel good about myself.” He laughs, running his fingers through his hair. “It makes me feel like my skills have advanced well enough to play for people who aren’t biased and blinded by our friendship.”</p><p>Jisung snorts. “You’ve become a very competent musician, hyung,” he says genuinely. “Your beats are a big part of all the band’s songs.”</p><p>“Look—” Minho snorts, and playfully bops Jisung on the nose with two fingers. “I know you mean that, and I want to believe that you mean that—but it’s like you, and the validation you get when you do music on your own, yeah?”</p><p>“Ah.” Jisung nods. “I get it then—like you said, we all need to figure ourselves out on our own.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Minho agrees. “Exactly. And also—”</p><p>“Also?”</p><p>Minho purses his lips, because this next part, he’s still unsure about. “There’s a small indie label in Japan that’s interested in releasing and distributing The Flower Pots’ music,” he explains quietly. “So the band is planning on moving to Japan for the next several months.”</p><p><em> “Oh.” </em> Jisung’s cheeks puff out; Minho can tell that he’s trying his best to control his reaction.</p><p>“You can be honest about your thoughts, ‘Sung.”</p><p>Jisung slowly blows out air. “Yeah, I know,” he agrees. “And my thoughts are—I’ll be sad that you’ll be leaving, but like you said, we all have things to figure out, and just like you all are pushing me to see how far I can go—I have to do that with all of you as well, not least of all <em> you, </em> hyung.”</p><p>Minho smiles; this is how he knows that Jisung finally truly understands how they all got to be where they are now.</p><p>Jisung exhales shakily as he reaches over to take Minho’s hand into his; Minho smiles, and stares at their interlocked fingers because they fit together so perfectly.</p><p>“I guess our band’s biopic has enough drama now,” Jisung murmurs into Minho’s sleeve as he nuzzles against the older’s arm.</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>Jisung chuckles. “Remember—once upon a time, I said that all the greats need to overcome some angsty hurdles to truly become great?”</p><p>Minho snorts. “It’s not gonna be our band’s biopic, Jisungie.” He nudges Jisung, and takes his hand away only so that he can cup Jisung’s round cheeks in both of his palms, steadying the younger as Minho stares into his eyes. “It’s gonna be <em> your </em> origin story movie—because you’re going to be big, Jisungie.”</p><p>“Hyung—” Jisung breathes out; his eyes turn into crescents when he smiles, and instead of verbalising the rest of his answer, he leans in to brush his lips against Minho's.</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>“Geez, Minho, we've known each other for almost a decade and I still don't get why you're obsessed with that stale, bitter coffee water,” Changbin comments after Minho returns from the counter with a tall iced Americano, and a large slice of cheesecake.</p><p>Minho scoffs as he reclaims his seat across the table from his friend. “Okay—one, eight years is not exactly a decade,” he points out.</p><p>“I said almost!” Changbin petulantly argues. “And it's been closer to nine years!”</p><p>“And two,” Minho keeps going, brushing past his friend’s comment, “you just don't have taste.”</p><p>“Whatever,” Changbin scoffs, and then he makes a show of drinking his mint chocolate smoothie – which he’d been trying to finish for at least an hour already, and <em> still, </em>  he makes a dissatisfied expression after.</p><p>“You're annoying,” Minho tells him after Changbin places his drink down.</p><p>“Not any more than you,” Changbin shoots back.</p><p>“At least I’m drinking something I actually like!”</p><p>“That’s because your taste buds are broken,” Changbin retorts. “And hey! What's that supposed to mean?!”</p><p>Minho laughs. “Bin, you don't even like mint chocolate. You only started ordering it to match with your boyfriend—and he's not even around right now.”</p><p>“So? The minty flavor makes my mouth feel refreshed.” Changbin makes a show of taking another sip of his drink—it can barely be called a smoothie now. “Besides, he’s dropping by later. Hyunjin loves kissing me for that minty taste.” He grins smugly, and then he makes kissy noises. “At least someone's kissing me.”</p><p>Minho rolls his eyes and with a shake of his head, he takes his phone or. “Shut up, it's almost seven.”</p><p>J.One (Jisung's solo stage name) has just dropped a new single—his fifth one in the last three and a half years, which is also the amount of time that's passed since Orgel had debuted him as a solo artist. Part of why Minho and Changbin were meeting that day, was so that they could listen to the new song together. </p><p>Minho has a lot of thoughts on the song, frankly, but at the moment, he’s focused on checking the song—Close’s status on the charts. </p><p>“44 on Melon,” Changbin announces just as Minho pulls up the chart himself.</p><p>He looks up, breaking into a huge grin as their eyes meet. “That's pretty good for him,” he comments.</p><p>“Our boy’s making it up in the music world,” Changbin comments flippantly; there’s a hint of genuine pride in his tone though.</p><p>It's only the second time that Jisung has managed to debut a song in the Melon TOP 100 right after release; the last time was his previous single, which had entered the chart in the low 90s upon its debut, but it had eventually made it up as high as the mid 30s, and it had stayed on the charts for months on end. It made sense that more people were listening to him and anticipating his new song now, earning him a higher release ranking.</p><p>“I’m happy for him,” Minho comments, finally putting his phone away.</p><p>“You think he'd be doing as well if we had all stayed together?” Changbin asks after a few seconds of silence.</p><p>Minho wrinkles his nose, because this is a thought that frequently crosses his mind, especially whenever J.One comes out with new music. He tries not to, though. “I think it's pointless to speculate.”</p><p>A lot of things have happened over the last few years. For one, both Changbin and Minho had finished their mandatory service. Changbin enlisted right after the band members went their own ways, and after coming back he had simply chosen to continue with his education, and now he's just a few units away from earning a degree. He had continued with his music as well, creating songs that he posts occasionally on his SoundCloud, which had earned quite a decent following. Some of them were fans from their AVSG days, but he’s also gained a lot of new followers since his sound on his own is quite distinct from the kind of songs that the band used to put out.</p><p>Minho had gone to Japan with The Flower Pots for almost a year, and under a small, independent label they'd managed to release two semi-professional singles. The band also toured Japan as an opening act for a Japanese band that at the time was rising in popularity — that band had gone on to become a bigger deal, especially around Asia, but The Flower Pots never quite made it big, and after they flew back home to Korea, Minho decided that it was also time for him to enlist. His service only just recently ended, and since he's been back, he has been the session drummer for two bands that are still looking for a permanent drummer. Both had asked him to officially join, but Minho has been waffling. The truth is that deep down, he feels like he's still waiting for a better fit.</p><p>He doesn't keep as regular contact with the others as he does with Changbin, but he sees Felix occasionally on TV – he’s some kind of variety star now; well, <em> star </em> might be an overstatement, but he’s a variety personality that’s on the rise, at the very least. He was friendly and personable, and always so earnest, and viewers ate that up. Jeongin, meanwhile, much like Changbin, had settled into an ordinary student life. He had chosen to major in Child Psychology, and the last they’d met up and talked, Jeongin had expressed a desire to go into teaching after he graduates – he’d also brought his really cute girlfriend along with him, and Minho and Changbin both wouldn’t stop giving him a hard time about being “all grown up now.”</p><p>“...JYP’s really got the girl group formula down to a pat,” Changbin is telling him, as he watches the music video for the new girl group release that’s sitting at the top of the Melon chart, when someone taps the glass window beside them, immediately catching their attention.</p><p>Minho immediately lights up – it’s Jisung, and it’s easy to tell, even when half of his face is covered with a mask, and the rest is obstructed by a bucket hat that’s pulled down over his eyes.</p><p>“You’re late,” Changbin berates him, after Jisung enters the cafe and makes his way over to them, sliding into the booth next to Minho even without any explicit invitation. He’s the main reason they’re meeting after all—the one who suggested they meet on this day, at this cafe. </p><p>“You're one to talk,” Minho tells Changbin. “You made me wait for over half an hour earlier.”</p><p>Changbin groans. “He doesn't know that!”</p><p>Jisung laughs. “Of course I knew. You're always late, hyung! Some things are never going to change.”</p><p>“Yah!!”</p><p>Jisung has made a decent name for himself, obviously, but he and Minho had never lost touch. They <em> did </em> take a conscious step back from their romantic feelings, especially after Minho left for Japan, but even then, they called each other frequently, and while he was in the army, Jisung wrote him letter after letter with detailed updates of his life – sometimes even with snippets of song lyrics that don’t always make it into the songs that J.One shares with the public. Minho used to try and meet with him during his vacation days, but Jisung was often busy so they haven't really been able to physically hang out as much as they would like, but their friendship never wavered — more than that, if he’s to be honest, and even though he isn’t sure if the same can be said for Jisung, Minho's feelings have remained the same, if not even stronger.</p><p>“So why'd you want to meet up?” Changbin asks, unapologetically straight to the point.</p><p>“What, I can’t want to meet old friends just because?” Jisung asks, chuckling. “I haven’t even gotten a drink yet!”</p><p>Minho pushes his drink towards him. “It’s already my second one,” he explains. “You can have it.”</p><p>“Are you sure, hyung?” Jisung asks him. “I’ll take it though—” he glances at the long line in front of the counter and cringes. “Don’t want to get in there—this is an Americano right?” He doesn’t even wait for an answer before he’s happily drinking it.</p><p>Changbin wrinkles his nose at the two of them. “I really don’t get your mutual obsession with iced Americanos.”</p><p>“You sound like a broken record, Binnie,” Minho tells him, laughing as he leans over and tickles Changbin’s chin.</p><p>“Anyway—” Jisung takes a deep breath after he’s done drinking – the tall drink half empty just like that. “We’re missing a few people still, so wait a bit.” He doesn’t ask before he picks up a fork and starts picking at Minho’s cake that Minho himself hadn’t even touched yet. </p><p>“Who are we waiting for?” he asks instead of telling Jisung off about treating his food as his own – the truth is he ordered the cheesecake slice knowing full well that it’s Jisung’s favorite.</p><p>“It’s a surpr—” He cuts himself off when he spots someone outside the cafe, and he quickly shoves a bite of cake into his mouth before waving enthusiastically outside. Minho follows his gaze, and is surprised to find both Jeongin <em> and </em> Felix about to enter the cafe.</p><p>“What the—” Changbin laughs as he waves the two of them over. “Are we getting the old gang back together or what?” Changbin is obviously joking, but the way Jisung wiggles right next to him has Minho suspecting there just might be some truth to that.</p><p>“‘Sung—?”</p><p>He doesn’t get to answer because he keeps shoving cake into his mouth, and then Jeongin and Felix are right there by their table, and Changbin is moving to make space for both of them.</p><p><em> “Hey, long time no see, guys!” </em> Felix greets cheerfully. </p><p>They have a group chat on Kakao that gets occasionally bumped with important life announcements (like whenever Changbin drops music on his SoundCloud account, or when Minho’s service ended) and the occasional funny meme (more often than not from Felix himself), but the last time Minho was physically in a room with Felix was months ago—and the last time all five of them were together was probably before he had enlisted, right after he’d gotten back from Japan. </p><p>It’s a little surreal to have them all together, but it was also nice, and not anywhere near awkward at all.</p><p>“Okay, so—” Jisung pauses, and takes another long sip from Minho’s drink, and then he flashes  a smile at everyone around the table. “Changbin-hyung’s right—I want to get the old gang back together.” All eyes fall on him, and he shrinks back a little; even Minho is genuinely surprised at the sudden proposition, especially considering how well his solo career is doing at the moment. “I—I mean,” he stammers, suddenly nervous now that he actually has everyone’s attention. It’s endearing, really – once, during one of his breaks from the army, Minho had gone to see J.One perform at a University festival, and Jisung’s charisma and confidence were triple of what they were when he was still fronting the band, so seeing him stumble all over his own words with them… it’s cute, how nervous he is. Minho allows himself a bit of indulgence as he reaches for Jisung’s knee under the table so he can give it an encouraging squeeze. It seems to work, because Jisung’s smile transforms into something more natural, while his shoulders visibly relax. “I know it seems sudden—and of course you’re all free to say no if you have different dreams and priorities now, but—” he exhales shakily, “I miss making music and performing with all of you.”</p><p>There’s brief silence, as if no one is sure how to react, but if he’s being honest, Jisung’s words had triggered something in Minho. It was like fog had lifted, and suddenly it was clear to him what <em> he </em> has been looking for. Still, he’s a little apprehensive.</p><p>“But—what about your solo career?” Changbin is the first one to answer, asking the question that all of them clearly had on their minds.</p><p>Jisung shrugs. “I’m done with Orgel,” he says simply.</p><p>“Wait, what?” Jeongin asks.</p><p>“Look, guys—” Jisung takes another deep breath. “I know we’ve all been up to our own things these last few years—and that was the idea, right? The goal when we broke up the band. But I’ve been doing this thing alone for the last few years, and all that time—I never stopped wishing you all were beside me.” He looks around and puts his cake fork down, clearly determined to be straight and direct about this, before Jeongin or Felix can even order food and drinks. “My contract agreement with Orgel was that I release at least 4 EPs and one full album with them—” he snorts, “—and the idea was that if I didn’t do well, they reserved the right to cut me off completely, and if I was successful then I had the option to extend. I guess I did just fine, because they kept me ‘til the end—but my full album has just dropped, and I’m basically free after this round of promotions because there’s no way I’m re-signing.”</p><p>They all keep staring at him; even Minho had no idea about Jisung’s contract terms. He always assumed that Orgel Records locked Jisung down for a certain number of years, and frankly, with his career doing well, he didn’t think that Jisung would want to mess with that.</p><p>“But—<em> why?” </em> Even with Jisung’s explanation, it’s no surprise that Changbin is the most skeptical. </p><p>“Because,” Jisung says simply. “I know what I want now—and I’m sure that it’s to make music with all of you here.” Changbin winces at this, and once again Jisung balks a little. “Like I said,” he quickly clarifies, “I know you all have other things, and this isn’t just my choice—I’m not trying to make it look like I’m snapping my fingers and expecting everything to fall into place, just that—”</p><p>“I’m in,” Minho announces, effectively cutting Jisung off before he can continue rambling.</p><p>Jisung turns to him in surprise, a bright relieved smile curving on his lips. “Hyung!”</p><p>Minho shrugs; he has played drums for enough bands by now that he knows exactly what Jisung meant by never having stopped wishing that everyone at the table was with him each time he was on stage. <em> These </em> are his people, the reasons why he even fell into this kind of life to begin with. He’s become good at his craft, but it’s never the same as it was when he was behind these people—when he was behind <em> Jisung, </em> watching him and supporting him as he made the audience fall in love with him.</p><p>“I miss performing,” Felix pipes up suddenly, a bit shy in tone, but with pure sincerity mirrored in his eyes. “I came to Korea as a guitarist and now I barely play…”</p><p>“Me too,” Jeongin echoes with a cautious grin. “And—I did say that we should only take an indefinite pause. Maybe this is the definite <em> end </em> of that pause?”</p><p>They all look at Changbin, waiting for him to say something. </p><p>“Come on,” Minho prods him gently. “You know you miss it. Hyunjin was the band’s first groupie—he can reprise that role easily.”</p><p>“Oi!” Changbin scoffs at him, immediately flipping him the bird, which has Minho and Jisung both bursting into simultaneous laughter.</p><p>“We can always just try a single reunion performance,” Jeongin offers; he turns to Minho. “Hyung still has contacts with the clubs we used to play at, right? And then we can go from there.”</p><p>Minho nods. “The scene’s changed a bit over the last few years, but J.One’s a big get—I’m sure I can find someone willing to let him and his lackeys headline for a night.”</p><p>“Hyung, it’s not like that—” Jisung frowns, and punches Minho’s arm lightly. “I don’t want to be J.One anymore—what I want is to be A Very Special Guest’s Han Jisung again.” </p><p>Changbin huffs, but there’s a grin that’s tugging at the corners of his lips. </p><p>“He’s in,” Minho declares, laughing.</p><p>“You’re not the boss of me, Lee Minho,” Changbin snarks.</p><p>“But you’re in, right—?”</p><p>Changbin groans, and that’s how Minho—that’s how they <em> all </em> know.</p><p>“Yeah, let’s get the old gang back together,” Changbin relents, chuckling as everyone else breaks out into celebratory cheers that do nothing but earn them weird looks from other patrons of the cafe. “I guess I missed you shitheads too,” he admits fondly, and Minho can’t help but grin widely because these are his thoughts, exactly. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>They all have dinner together, most of which is spent reminiscing their beginnings while grilling endless platters of meat. Hyunjin joins them halfway through their meal, and even then—even after Jeongin makes half teasing, half callous remarks about him and Jisung and their past, there’s no trace of awkwardness. (He does get a light hit on the head from Changbin, but it’s all in good fun.)</p><p>They make promises to meet up again as soon as they can, especially after Jisung wraps his promotions up for his new song, and when it’s time to say goodbye, Jisung boldly invites himself to Minho’s place.</p><p>“You always send me pictures of Dori,” he says, referring to the kitten that Minho had adopted from a shelter after getting out of the army, “but I want to see her in person. In… cat? What’s more accurate to say?”</p><p>Minho just laughs at his silliness, but he’s also quick to give in. He lives by himself in a small studio apartment in Shinchon, which is a good half hour commute away from where they had all met up. Jisung still didn't have a license so he usually had his manager drive him to places; but he'd been adamant that this is his personal, private schedule, so he hadn't involved his manager, which means that at the end of the night, Minho and Jisung are left to take the bus by themselves. (They’d tried weaseling a ride home out of Changbin, just like they used to, but it didn’t work because Hyunjin lived on the other side of the city, and Changbin has his priorities all laid out differently now.)</p><p>They sit together at the back of the bus, and it vaguely reminds Minho that this is technically how they’d first met – with the two of them taking the same bus route to school. When they get to his apartment, there isn’t much fanfare as Minho simply inputs his security code, and lets Jisung in. They both toe off their shoes carelessly after stepping past the threshold, but Jisung is quick to take his mask off as well, clearly comfortable enough to shed his public disguise now that he's in Minho's apartment; once he's inside, he simply  looks around with quiet observance.</p><p>The place is fairly lived in, even though the decor is quite minimal – Minho has only been living in it for a couple of months after all. His bed is on an elevated platform, pushed in one corner by the window, while the kitchen blends into the general living area at the other end. </p><p>There’s a cat tree opposite of the small dining table, where little Dori was asleep at the very top of it. Jisung coos softly at the sight of the cat, but when he gets no response, he doesn't force it – and Minho is grateful that Jisung knows enough not to disturb a resting feline. Next to the bed, meanwhile, leaning against the wall—and it isn’t lost on Minho, the way Jisung immediately notices it, lifting  an eyebrow out of clear curiosity—is a guitar bag. </p><p>“Nice place you have here,” Jisung comments, making a beeline right for the guitar, which he takes out of its case before he settles on sitting at the foot of the bed.</p><p>“Thanks,” Minho returns, following and sitting next to him. “I bought that in Japan. I wanted to learn, but there was never any time before. Started teaching myself again recently though.” His former bandmates in The Flower Pots had offered to help him, but between also trying to learn a new language on the side, while being hauled around for performances around the country, he never learned anything past the basic chords—at least until recently. </p><p>“Yeah?” Jisung grins and offers it to him. “Show me what you’ve learned so far?”</p><p>Minho laughs and immediately shakes his head. “No way,” he says, pushing it back to Jisung. “You play instead. It’s been a while.”</p><p>Jisung puffs his cheeks and carefully cradles the instrument in his arms; he looks like he’s giving it some serious thought. “Well—do you have any requests, then?” </p><p>Minho smiles. “Your new song,” he says immediately. There’s something about ‘Close’ that had felt undeniably familiar the moment he heard it; something about the lyrics felt pointed, while the melody had wrapped him in comfortable warmth.</p><p>Jisnug pauses and stares at him, a silent inquiry in his eyes, like he’s asking if Minho realises what—or <em> who— </em> the song is about. At least that’s what Minho thinks. He isn’t sure though. He wants to think nothing has changed between the two of them, but it’s hard to <em> know. </em></p><p>“Okay,” Jisung finally acquiesces with a nod; he picks at the strings, making sure the guitar is tuned. “Presenting—a special, never before heard by anyone, acoustic version of J.One’s newest single.”</p><p>Minho grins. “Number 21 on Melon,” he comments, because they’d kept checking it’s ranking throughout the evening, and the last they’d seen, it had just broken the 20s—a feat enough for Jisung to generously pay for everyone’s dinner. </p><p>“I’m gonna tell you a secret,” Jisung murmurs, before he starts to play; Minho looks at him curiously, without saying anything. “I wrote the words to this song a long time ago.”</p><p>Minho snorts. “Did you?”</p><p>Jisung hums as he positions his fingers over the strings, a cheeky smile curving on his lips as he starts to play the introductory melody. “Mhm,” he confirms. “When I was only 16.”</p><p><em> Can you tell me about you </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> You, who I can see from afar </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> I don't just want to watch you </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> Yeah, just tell me about you </em></p><p>When he starts to sing, Minho falls completely silent; just like before, Jisung’s voice has a certain effect on him. It transports him back easily, reminding him of the first time they had played together on stage—Jisung had displayed raw talent then, a different kind of energy as he hyped up the audience, but even now, as he shows a more subdued side of him, Minho can’t help but be reminded that Jisung was truly born for <em> this. </em> He listens intently, letting the song wash over him; they make direct eye contact and Minho doesn’t know how to explain the intensity of the feelings that surge through him in that moment.</p><p><em> This is all that I can say, even if I pretend to be bold </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> When I look into your eyes, I still freeze up </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> All of this is unfamiliar to me, and this feeling I feel right now </em> <em> <br/></em> <em> It's a first for me, but I'm excited and looking forward to it, even though I’m nervous </em></p><p>They don’t avert their gazes until the song is over, and by then Jisung is actually quite red in the face, and Minho wants to pounce on him and kiss him for it. </p><p>It takes him a moment before he realises that no one’s actually stopping him from doing just that, so he smiles, and before either of them can ruin the moment by saying anything, he moves and plants his lips on Jisung. The latter appears surprised at first, so Minho eases him into it; he cups Jisung’s cheek with his palm, and angles his head slightly to the side, making sure that their mouths are perfectly slotted together.</p><p>When he feels Jisung smile into the kiss, he can’t help but do the same; he moves his lips against Jisung’s, initiating soft, giggly smacks but nothing more for now. When he pulls away, both of them are wearing identical expressions of happiness.</p><p>“You don’t know how much I want to do that every time we meet up,” Jisung murmurs.</p><p>Minho laughs. “I don’t know if that’s saying a lot considering we can count on our hands the number of times we’ve seen each other over the last few years.”</p><p>“Fair enough,” Jisung agrees, laughing along even as he brushes his lips against the corner of Minho’s mouth. “But I also think about it a lot whenever we’re not together—kissing you, I mean. I think about kissing you a lot. Just so we’re clear.”</p><p>Minho laughs some more; if Jisung isn’t going to be coy with his words, then he isn’t going to be coy with his actions. He takes the guitar away from Jisung and sets it aside so that he can easily pull Jisung over to his lap, where he’s able to angle for a better kiss.</p><p>They kiss lazily, languidly, the two of them really just drinking each other in, enjoying every single second of their renewed physical closeness. By the time they pull away for air, Jisung is straddling Minho, with lips looking deliciously red and abused thanks to Minho himself.</p><p>“You’re beautiful,” he finds himself saying, the words easily sliding off his tongue without any kind of thought that they surprise both of them.</p><p>“Hyung—?” Jisung blinks at him, right before he breaks out into laughter, leaning in to bury his face into the crook of Minho’s neck.</p><p>“I—” Minho feels his face warming up. “I just… wanted to try saying it,” he mutters lamely; he really does think Jisung is beautiful though—inside and out, especially this more mature version of him who seems incredibly sure about himself, while simultaneously still exuding the same brightness and naivete that had drawn Minho to him in the first place, all those years ago. </p><p>“Okay,” Jisung agrees quietly, nuzzling further into Minho, inhaling deeply as if wanting to breathe in as much of Minho as he can – it tickles a little.</p><p>They stay like that for a minute or so before Minho speaks again. “Hey ‘Sung—? What… does this mean?”</p><p>“What do you mean, what does this mean?” Jisung pulls away from him finally, and the two of them make eye contact.</p><p>“I love you,” Minho says simply. There’s no use beating around the bush—after all, he had already confessed his feelings once before. “I’m still in love with you.”</p><p>Jisung smiles. “I thought I just made it clear that I feel the same—?”</p><p>“Yeah, but…” Minho tries not to frown, but something is turning in his stomach; nerves, anxiety, fear – it’s been so long, and he can’t be sure if the two of them still fit as well as they used to. Especially now that they are getting the band back together, he doesn't know if getting into this with Jisung now is the best idea.</p><p>“Hyung.” Jisung places his hands on either side of his neck, and he keeps Minho steady as he stares into his eyes. “Let’s do this like we’re doing the band,” he says, voice soft but sure and steady. “I love you—you love me. We’re in love,” he says, chuckling. “So let’s see where that takes us. We’ll have a reunion performance, just the two of us,” he comments, a smirk curving on his lips, and Minho can’t help but laugh at the clear innuendo in Jisung’s words.</p><p>“You think that's all we need to do?” Minho asks, his gaze challenging.</p><p>“All I know is what I want, and what makes me happy,” Jisung answers. “And I think what you want, and what makes <em> you </em> happy has a clear overlap with mine.”</p><p>Minho had to admit that he's right, but it's hard to voice it out; Jisung clearly notices this, and he moves to press a kiss against Minho's cheek.</p><p>“You've got this, hyung,” Jisung whispers, his words an echo of long ago exchanges between the two of them. <em> “We've </em> got this,” he clarifies, mouth curling into a sideways grin. “And if you hesitate, if you think you don't, then—”</p><p>“Then <em> you've </em> got me,” Minho finishes for him.</p><p>“Just like you've got <em> me.” </em></p><p>They know what they want, and what makes them happy—things might but be perfect, but that's just life. It's their choice to start something, and their choice to make that something work, and all things considered—all things including the unwavering comfort Minho feels whenever the two of them are together—it's clear that they work together as seamlessly now, and it's clear that they've got each other, just as they always have.</p><p>“I love you Minho-hyung,” Jisung repeats himself, matter-of-fact as he leans closer, and practically melts into Minho's hold.</p><p>“I love you too, Han Jisung,” Minho returns, because it's the truth, and it's the most important truth.</p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p> </p><p>~~</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p class="interview"><b> <em>Do you think you can continue for a long time?</em> </b><br/><b> <em>HJS: </em> </b> <em> Now that we’ve found each other again? (laughs) Fuck, yes! </em></p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>~~<br/><br/></p><p> </p><p></p><div class="letter">
  <p> </p>
  <p></p>
  <div class="clubname">
    <h5>The Echo Bin</h5>
  </div>
  <h6>
    <em>PRESENTS</em>
  </h6>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p></p>
  <div class="bandname">
    <h1>A Very Special Guest</h1>
  </div>
  <p> </p>
  <p> </p>
  <p></p>
  <div class="timedate">
    <p>
      <b>8/25, 8.30 PM</b>
      <br/>
      <em>feat. The Bluebirds, &amp; 69rocketts!!</em>
    </p>
    <p> </p>
  </div>
</div><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>
  <span class="small"><a href="https://twitter.com/jellyskz/status/1258421467491921921?s=19">CLOSE TRANSLATIONS WERE TAKEN FROM HERE.</a> That said, I wish an acoustic version of Close really did exist ;;</span>
</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <span class="small">Confession, I obviously don't know much about how the music industry works, so a lot of this is based on 1) reading music-related manga/stories, 2) watching band-related documentaries/movies, 3) lots of googling, and 4) my imagination going the distance. Unless there are glaring mistakes, I hope you were able to suspend disbelief for anything somewhat unrealistic, hah.</span>
</p><p>
  <span class="small">Truthfully, this took a lot out of me to write, so if you made it up to here, thank you! I hope you enjoyed it. Feedback, of course, will always be appreciated! ♥</span>
</p></blockquote></div></div>
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